PLANET O.J. : ALL WHO PASS THROUGH ITS COSMIC ENERGY BELT SOMEHOW RETURN BEDAZZLED, STAR-STRUCK, IRRATIONAL OR NUDE.

Byline: Richard Roeper

PLANET O.J. has been in orbit for 30 months now, and we keep discovering odd and mutant life forms up there.

For instance, this bubble-brained Ann-Marie Jamison, who was kicked off the jury for goofing around too much during O.J. Simpson's civil trial.

Courtroom observers say Jamison was a giggling chatterbox who wore a T-shirt that said, ``It's Halloween

Care to Go Bump in the Night?'' She was finally booted from the proceedings because of a comment she had made about a paralegal's tie.

Did Jamison then slip away quietly? Of course not

She's an inhabitant of Planet O.J., so she held a press conference, jetted off to New York to do ``Good Morning America'' and directed media inquiries to her agent, who said the 25-year-old was a talented actress with credits that include a ``bikini girl'' on the CBS-TV series ``Diagnosis Murder.''

Even money says she's in Playboy within months.

This is the kind of thing that happens all the time on Planet O.J. The force field of weirdness is so strong that nearly everyone who spends any time there ends up acting in a strange and frightening manner.

Newspapers are not as thick as the Manhattan phone book, so there isn't room to list all the bizarre episodes that have occurred on Planet O.J.

We'll just list some of the best, in no particular order.

Simpson had a temporary jail-mate friendship with Lyle Menendez, until Menendez was moved to another cell.

Simpson signed his ``suicide note'' with a smiley face.

While the criminal trial was in progress, Chris Darden called Geraldo Rivera's live talk show on CNBC and said, ``Is this the Arsenio Hall Show?''

A male spectator wearing a dress was ejected from Judge Lance Ito's courtroom.

Connie Chung told Simpson defense attorney Bob Shapiro, ``I just spoke to my husband. He gave me permission to sleep with you in exchange for an exclusive interview with either you or O.J.''

Judge Lance Ito called lawyers into his chambers to view a videotape of Jay Leno's ``Dancing Itos'' skit.

Larry King visited the courtroom and greeted O.J., who told him, ``Thanks for being so open-minded.''

A Nicole Simpson look-alike confronted O.J. outside the courthouse in Santa Monica, locked eyes with him and said, ``Deal with it.''

Nicole's sisters took time out from their grieving to pose for glamour photos in the New Yorker.

Shortly after his acquittal, Simpson called KKBT radio in Los Angeles for an hourlong appearance on a show called ``The House Party.'' He plugged his video and even dedicated a song, ``One Sweet Day'' by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men, to Nicole Brown Simpson and Bob Chandler, a former teammate who died of cancer last year.

An entrepreneur marketed an O.J. watch with a little white Bronco being chased around the dial by two squad cars.

Five weeks after the murders, Simpson applied for a trademark on the name ``O.J.,'' covering items ranging from T-shirts and hats to aprons, jigsaw puzzles and puppets.

An 18-year-old clerk at the civil trial accused Simpson of sexually harassing her.

Reports of reluctant witness Rosa Lopez marrying a ventriloquist turned out to be a hoax.

In what had to have been the most embarrassing moment in their collective lives, more than 5,000 people showed up at Honey Creek Square Mall in Terre Haute, Ind., to see Kato Kaelin and chant, ``Ka-to! Ka-to! Ka-to!''

Dismissed Simpson juror Tracy Hampton posed nude for Playboy; Nicole friend Faye Resnick posed nude for Playboy; Topless photos of Marcia Clark appeared in a tabloid.

John Tesh performed a private concert for the jurors in the criminal trial.

At the criminal trial, a woman sold incense called ``O.J. Air Freshener,'' for $1. The incense was wrapped in a paper package with a picture of the Juice and the caption, ``Innocent Until Proven Guilty.''

The Wall Street Journal ran an article about ordinary citizens who were having O.J.-related dreams.

More than 1,300 people have bought $3,995 bronze statuettes of Simpson.

CAPTION(S):

Photo

Photo: Winds of strange: O.J. Simpson, left, and attorney Robert Baker leave Los Angeles County Superior court, site of the most recent inexplicable goings-on.

Associated Press