PICK OF THE DAY; Live snooker BBC2, from 1.30pm.

Byline: Steve Palmer 

SNOOKER loopy, nuts are we, writes Steve Palmer.

Me and him and them and me. We'll show you what we can do, with a load of balls and a snooker cue.

Pot the reds then, screw back, for the yellow green brown blue pink and black.

Snooker loopy nuts are we, we're all snooker loopy.

Now old Meo as we all know, has loadsa dappa suits, London bred and he keeps his head, though he's got Italian roots.

Emotional but he keeps his cool, till he reaches the finals, and whether he wins or whether he don't, I always bite me eyeballs.

Now our friend Den, hours he spent, down the snooker hall. On the old green baize his mates seem amazed, at his skills with a snooker ball.

And them long shots, he never ever got, why the old mind boggles? But nowadays he pots the lot, because he wears these goggles.

Snooker loopy nuts are we, me and him and them and me, we'll show you what we can do, with a load of balls and a snooker cue. Pot the reds then, screw back, for the yellow green brown blue pink and black, snooker loopy nuts are we, we're all snooker loopy.

Now old Willie Thorne his hair's all gone, and his mates all take the rise, his opponent said cover up his head, 'cos it's shining in my eyes.

When the light shines down on his bare crown, it's a cert he's gonna walk it, it's just not fair giving off that glare, perhaps he ought to chalk it.

Snooker loopy nuts are we, me and him and them and me, we'll show you what we can do, with a load of balls and a snooker cue.

Having said that, maybe the live greyhound racing on Sky Sports 2 will be more entertaining than the snooker tonight. I may be snooker loopy, but I think I'm greyhounds loopier.