PERSONAL HARDSHIP JUST INSPIRES WOMAN TO HELP OTHERS CANYON COUNTRY CHURCH HONORS HER WORK WITH HOMELESS.

Byline: Carol Rock Staff Writer

CANYON COUNTRY - When Carol Fish goes to Venice, she usually packs a lunch for a crowd. But her appetite isn't for food; it's a heartfelt desire to nourish the souls of those hovering in the doorways and alleys.

``It's a way to build a relationship,'' she said. ``You can't (just) give someone a bowl of soup and say I hope you find someplace to sleep tonight; you need to know their names. People usually see the homeless as invisible, but not me.''

Fish used to walk the streets unaided, making eye contact with thousands of needy on the streets of Santa Monica and Venice, learning their names and stopping to feed the hungry or to counsel the lost.

Three years ago, a side effect of diabetes caused her to lose feeling in her right foot. She was diagnosed with Charcot's foot, a condition in which nerve damage causes joints and soft tissue in the foot to disintegrate.

Several surgeries later, she was back on the sidewalk. But last Labor Day, her left foot turned sideways.

Now, she's learning to pilot a wheelchair with her left leg in a cast. A titanium rod, similar to the one that holds her right leg and foot together, was installed, and doctors tell her she might be able to use a walker in a couple of months.

``I have a friend who said they'd take me to Venice with a pot of chili,'' she said eagerly. ``All I need is a bag of bowls on the back of my chair, and I'm ready to go. I need to look for someone.''

Fish doesn't just cook for the masses. She casts herself upon the waters of humanity and offers her own experience to help others. ``I was 18 years sober on March 11,'' she said.

She hates attention, and it took a trick to get her to attend a celebration of her selflessness at Desert Streams Church last week.

``God called for me to throw a banquet for her,'' said her sister, Cindy Kowalczyk of Canyon Country, who made room in her home for Fish with the wheelchair. ``But I had to trick her into thinking this was about her sobriety.''

In reality, the church hall was filled with friends and officials honoring the 40-year-old Fish for her giving spirit.

``Carol is such a champion. She's done more than overcome adversity. What sets her apart is that other people might draw the line if they were in a wheelchair, but she humbles herself no matter what the adversity is and just goes on,'' Kowalczyk said.

The road to that banquet came long and hard for Fish. She recalled how her mother got neighborhood children together to make gifts for hospitalized children when she was 8 years old.

``We were the Sunshine Club,'' she said.

Fish doesn't dwell on what came before that basket brigade.

``We were dirt poor,'' Kowalczyk said. ``We lived out in Phelan, and my brother and I chased pigeons for food. We never caught them, but I used to pray for a sister, and along comes Carol.''

By the time Carol was 6 months old, the family was living in a 1954 Buick station wagon, traveling from Southern California to Oregon while the father looked for work picking crops.

``Being homeless affects you,'' Kowalczyk said. ``That's where she has it in her heart for the downtrodden. She knows what it's like.''

Carol graduated from Hamilton High School in 1983, despite what most would consider a nightmarish upbringing.

``I was busy taking care of alcoholic family and friends,'' she said. ``We always had bums, junkies, prostitutes and hit men around the house. I remember a biker teaching me how to bartend.''

She turned to alcohol and cocaine for comfort and attempted suicide five times on the streets. ``I guess I'm alive to take care of people.''

Today, her dream is to open a recovery house to help others - to share the faith that helped save her life more than once.

``I'm ready to get out of this chair and start walking again,'' she said. ``What I have today is God's. I may not jog or wear Nine West pumps, but I'll be out there in Skid Row helping people.''

``I'm not afraid of cooties or AIDS or TB,'' she said. ``I have inner strength to stand up. If you're going out doing what God asked you to do, you'll be OK.''

Carol Rock, [phone]

carol.rock(at)dailynews.com

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1 -- color) Carol Fish, 40, sober for 18 years, aims to help the homeless who feel lost and invisible.

(2 -- color) Currently needing a wheelchair and hoping to use a walker later, Carol Fish persists in her efforts to help Skid Row denizens.

(3 -- color) Carol Fish's belief in God is the message on the cast on her left leg. Doctors inserted a titanium rod, similar to one that holds her right leg and foot together.

David Crane/Staff Photographer