PERFECT' A SOMEWHAT BARREN EXPERIENCE.

Byline: Evan Henerson Theater Critic

Sporting a title that pretty much begs for a sniper's bullet, Mark Kassen's play ``Perfect'' actually takes its inspiration from the all-purpose phrase ``I just want everything to be perfect'' - a line appropriate for such occasions as the loss of virginity, wedding anniversaries, important dinner parties ... and apparently genetic engineering.

Andrew and Anna, the play's cute-as-a-button husband and wife, have come through the doors of biology research lab Micro Split to make certain that their first child will be a girl. Through Micro Split technology, they dream that not only can they predetermine the sex of their offspring, they might even get a say in unborn Lily's hair and eye color as well. As the lab's Dr. Chalk (cousin of Salk?) drones on about the eventual eradication of diseases, we the audience get to sit down and dine on a nice helping of red herring.

Because ``Perfect,'' which gets a frothy and sporadically humorous world premiere at the Tiffany Theatre, isn't about genetics or the prospect of customized ``have it your way'' children. It's a play about a most imperfect relationship between two selfish adults that no science more potent than good old-fashioned communication can fix.

Not that Kassen or director Charles Otte are especially trying to hide their agenda. They employ mixed-media effects that gives the production a futuristic, high-tech feel. The play's central gimmick is a documentarian (played by Logan Ernstthal) who puts Andrew, Anna, their friends and family on live camera. While they speak to the camera in profile, their gigantic likenesses are projected directly behind them, speaking to us.

The documentary crew, it seems, is paying Micro Split for Andrew and Anna's fertility cycle (which, when explained, sounds like processing sperm through a salad spinner). In return, the crew gets extended access into the soon-to-be parents' life. Once this happens, Andrew and Anna's relationship - once thought by both parties to be rock solid - starts to crumble. Andrew (played by Kassen) is getting railroaded into decisions he doesn't want while Anna (Judy Greer) isn't having her needs met. The pair are doing what they're supposed to be doing, not what feels right. Offering differing perspectives on the couple, their relationship and their quest for parenthood are his mother, her parents, her best friend, his boss and his brother Caleb (played by Adam Kassen, the playwright's brother).

Kassen's dialogue, while over-fond of the F word, is breezy enough with a few decent laughs, but he seriously overestimates the coolness of his multimedia gadgets. If all the backgrounds - designed by Jonas and Alx and resembling a wavy, live-action slide presentation - are supposed to be part of the smoke screen that this is a play about technological progress, then fine and dandy. Otherwise, ``Perfect'' could fit snugly into black box or community theater without the video.

Resembling a shabbier version of Tom Cruise, Kassen does what he can with a character who isn't all that charismatic to begin with. Greer's Anna is a decent enough mixture of cute and callow. Richard Kind (press secretary Paul Lassiter on ``Spin City'') is effective as a doctor with wisdom beyond what happens in test tubes.

Eclipsing everybody and everything else on stage, however, is Lola Glaudini, who plays an array of characters, including Anna's new-age-obsessed friend, Tarro. Every persona Glaudini essays is different, unique and nuanced, and Tarro - by no means the sharpest needle in the pin cushion - is an absolute howl.

Granted, Glaudini is occupying a different stratosphere than her cast members - but it's a universe that the rest of ``Perfect'' would do well to shoot for.

``PERFECT''

Where: Tiffany Theatre, 8532 Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood.

When: 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday, 5 and 8 p.m. Saturday, 7 p.m. Sunday; through Nov. 11.

Tickets: $20 to $25. Call [phone].

Our rating: Two stars

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Photo:

Richard Kind, left, and Mark Kassen in a scene from the Tiffany Theatre production of ``Perfect.''