PAYCHECK AND HUMILIATION FOR `LITTLE MAN' ACTORS.Byline: Evan Henerson Staff Writer Ladies and gentlemen, welcome once again to the 25th annual I Sold My Soul to Deviant Forces, Cashed a Paycheck and Made an Unwatchable Movie awards ceremony, also known as the Sellies. Our top acting honoree this evening is a former Oscar nominee (for Woody Allen's ``Bullets Over Broadway''), a writer and director who never met a mobster he couldn't bend to his will. Let's have a big round of applause for Chazz Palminteri Chazz Palminteri (b. May 15, 1952) is an Academy Award-nominated American actor and writer, best known for his performances in The Usual Suspects, A Bronx Tale and Mulholland Falls. of the film ``Little Man.'' Before we bring him up to accept his Sellie, a few words about our honoree's achievement. Mr. Palminteri is not the star of ``Little Man.'' That indignity in·dig·ni·ty n. pl. in·dig·ni·ties 1. Humiliating, degrading, or abusive treatment. 2. A source of offense, as to a person's pride or sense of dignity; an affront. 3. falls jointly to the film's two co-writers, Marlon and Shawn Wayans. Brother Keenen Ivory Wayans Keenen Ivory Wayans (born June 8, 1958 in New York City, New York) is an American actor, comedian, director and writer best known as the host and creator of the FOX sketch comedy series In Living Color directs. In the role of Walken, the mob boss (what else?) looking to gain possession of a priceless diamond, Mr. Palminteri is not forced to get peed on by a dog, endure countless jokes about the size of his genitals, wear a diaper, drink breast milk or ogle o·gle v. o·gled, o·gling, o·gles v.tr. 1. To stare at. 2. To stare at impertinently, flirtatiously, or amorously. v.intr. big-breasted women. Those duties fall to Marlon Wayans, whose face has been transposed trans·pose v. trans·posed, trans·pos·ing, trans·pos·es v.tr. 1. To reverse or transfer the order or place of; interchange. 2. onto a 9-year-old actor's body. Marlon's midget character, Calvin Sims, is an ex-convict who impersonates a baby in order to steal the diamond that has somehow ended up in Vanessa Edwards' (Kerry Washington) purse. Because Vanessa's husband Darryl (Shawn Wayans) is desperate to be a father and because the city's Department of Child Services is closed for the weekend, the Edwardses take care of Calvin -- who has been placed on their doorstep -- for the weekend. Havoc ensues. This havoc is wrought primarily by Calvin himself. Mr. Palminteri's primary duties include glowering glow·er intr.v. glow·ered, glow·er·ing, glow·ers To look or stare angrily or sullenly. See Synonyms at frown. n. An angry or sullen look or stare. at henchmen Bruno and Roscoe, saying ``get me that diamond'' a few times and, ultimately, taking a toy airplane to the crotch crotch n. The angle or region of the angle formed by the junction of two parts or members, such as two branches, limbs, or legs. . Mr. Palminteri did not create or direct this cheerfully brain-dead scenario. In fact, Mr. Palminteri, who has been quoted in ``Little Man'' press notes as saying, ``If I'm going to be in a comedy, I wanted it to be a smart comedy,'' appears in just enough of ``Little Man'' to qualify for tonight's honor. Ladies and gentleman, the year's top Sellie, Chazz Palminteri! Evan Henerson, (818) 713-3651 evan.henerson@dailynews.com LITTLE MAN - half star (PG-13: crude and sexual humor throughout, language and brief drug references) Starring: Marlon Wayans, Shawn Wayans, Tracy Morgan, Kerry Washington, Chazz Palminteri. Director: Keenen Ivory Wayans. Running time: 1 hr. 37 min. Playing: In wide release. In a nutshell: Grown-up grown-up adj. 1. Of, characteristic of, or intended for adults: grown-up movies; a grown-up discussion. 2. minds wallowing in juvenile humor yet again. |
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