PATTERN HARD TO BREAK.

Byline: Holly Edwards Staff Writer

SANTA CLARITA - The cycle of domestic violence is one of the most difficult patterns of behavior to break free from because its causes lie in the deeply held beliefs of both victim and abuser, officials say.

While many battered women believe they deserve to be brutalized, their abusers often believe that committing violence is part of being a man, said Marina Martin, program director of the Association to Aid Victims of Domestic Violence based in Santa Clarita.

Most of the men attending court-ordered anger management classes at the agency never come to realize they've done anything wrong, even after attending the classes every week for a year, she said.

``They've been socialized from Day One to use violence to solve their problems, and the fact that this is wrong is a totally new concept for them,'' she said. ``They are taught to be tough, don't cry and to be a strong leader of their families.''

Occasionally, she said, a young, first-time offender enters the program and makes a sincere effort to change.

``They are so horrified by what they've done that they are willing to work hard to change,'' she said. ``There are some success stories. But what I see most are men with very deeply ingrained beliefs about sex roles. They think they are the boss and the woman must do what they say or else.''

At the heart of every abusive relationship is the struggle for power and control, she said. Violence enables abusive men to feel powerful and self-confident while they are fundamentally beset with a sense of powerlessness and low self-esteem, she said.

Sometimes, the very men whose job it is to protect battered women are themselves convicted of domestic violence. Martin said several police officers a year are ordered to attend anger management classes at her agency.

``When you think about power and control, who does that describe?'' she said. ``It fits the whole psyche of police officers.''

However, for police officers, a domestic violence conviction often leads to job loss.

A 1997 federal law prohibits anyone, including police officers, convicted of either a misdemeanor or a felony count of domestic violence from carrying a gun.

When the law was enacted, dozens of Los Angeles Police Department officers and a handful of Los Angeles County sheriff's deputies were taken off of field duty and reassigned to desk jobs.

``We've had to terminate people here because they were convicted of domestic violence,'' said Lt. Tim Peters of the Santa Clarita Valley sheriff's station. ``If you're convicted of domestic violence and you lose your gun, your ability to be a police officer is greatly diminished.''

On the rare occasions in which abusers admit their wrongdoings and make a sincere effort to change, permanent recovery is possible with long-term counseling, Martin said.

``You have to face yourself instead of hiding behind excuses,'' she said. ``And that's a hard thing to do.''

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(color) Marina Martin is program director of the Association to Aid Victims of Domestic Violence in Santa Clarita.

Shaun Dyer/Special to the Daily News