PARENTS PONDER ATTITUDES; SCHOOL OFFICIAL'S RESIGNATION PUTS FOCUS ON TEEN DRINKING.

Byline: Sonia Giordani Daily News Staff Writer

By the time Oak Park school board President Jeri Fox resigned last week, parents and teachers in this cozy residential community had already endured a heated debate over the issue of underage drinking.

Indeed, some parents say Fox's decision to hold a post-Homecoming party at her house where beer was consumed provided the spark needed to ignite a long-in-coming discussion about how Oak Park teens spend their weekends.

``This is something that we can all learn from,'' said Meredith Evans, whose 15-year-old son attended the Nov. 1 party at Fox's home. She said she was unaware that alcohol would be consumed at the party.

``As parents, we need to be communicating with our children and supporting the policies designed to keep our children safe, and we are all responsible for that,'' Evans said.

At a special meeting Tuesday, the four remaining members of the Oak Park school board sought to push past the Fox controversy and swiftly fill her vacant seat. But the board members and parents also reflected on measures the district needs to take to address a growing problem.

``We have to find something for our kids to do, and we have to experience a whole attitude change in the community and in the schools,'' said Noreen Armerding, Oak Park High School's parent-faculty president for the past three years.

For Karen Littenberg, the past weeks have raised her awareness - and her concern - of the issues she may face in the coming years when her elementary and middle school youngsters enter high school.

``After this whole thing, I've been talking with others and I'm very concerned about the attitudes of the parents in the community, some of which are even my friends,'' said Littenberg, whose children attend Red Oak Elementary and Medea Creek Middle School.

``It's as though alcohol has become `inevitable,' so it's OK to have it in a better environment,'' she said.

``There are parents who think it's OK'' for minors to drink, she said. ``How can we allow our kids to do this at such a young age? We're a little community, and this is a community problem.''

As news of Fox's party spread, parents began questioning the effectiveness of the awareness programs assigned to deal with drinking and substance abuse among teens in Oak Park, such as Drug Abuse Resistance Education.

But some say the solution may lie in reaching parents as well as teens.

``Programs like DARE are heavy-duty, intense programs to give kids and their parents information. But we can't be a teen's guardian angel. We're not going to be able to make decisions for them,'' said Ventura County sheriff's Deputy Matt Findlay, the DARE officer who works in Oak Park schools.

``Peer pressure is big. Alcohol and tobacco are always going to be accessible,'' he said. ``The bottom line is that if a person is under the age of 21, there is zero-tolerance. It's a hard role for parents to be disciplinarians, I know.''

Members of the school district's 7-year-old substance abuse task force, on which Fox sat, are beginning to consider ways to more directly address parents' role in preventing underage drinking. For instance, they may include more information about the issue of teen-age drinking in a school newsletter mailed to parents.

``Maybe now is the time to focus on parents,'' said Sue Blasman, a member of the task force. ``Enough of us have to learn to say no.''

For Medea Creek Middle School Principal Laurel Ford, the controversy over Fox's action has underscored the need for responsibility and accountability.

``It is important for parents and for all of us to set boundaries and limits for our kids and lay out the expectations,'' she said. ``We have to keep that message there: that doing what's legal and right is what is expected.''