PARENTING : UNDERSTANDING THE BARE ESSENTIALS OF BARING IT ALL.

Byline: Greg Steckler and Gerald Deskin 

Every summer we receive letters or calls from parents who have a question about the impact that nudism has on children. They ask: Can we go skinny dipping with our children? Can we join another family and swim or sunbathe in the nude? Can we walk around the house in the buff? Proponents suggest: It's natural. The body is a beautiful thing, why be ashamed of it? It's healthy. It's liberating! It helps children to accept their bodies, and so on. Opponents suggest: It will create too much sexual interest for children when they are not ready for it. It could traumatize them. It could lead to immoral thoughts, feelings and actions for both adults and children. It is dangerous.

Being nude in and of itself is clearly not bad. What is important is the meaning prescribed to who is nude; when, where and why one is nude. In the big picture, the culture decides the meaning. Within the culture, each family further decides that meaning, and within the family the parents have the final say. As you go from the big picture to the small picture, the decisions get more difficult, and the risk of confusing children increases. The more out of step your family is from others, the more confused the children can get.

The culture is important. For example, in many European cultures sunbathing or swimming in the nude is culturally sanctioned. Nudity is more prevalent on television and in the newspapers. Families are more comfortable with it, and children do well with nudity because they get the support and understanding of their parents, peers and the culture at large.

In the American culture, nudity is highly sexualized. Many people automatically associate being nude with feeling sexual. As a consequence, there are a number of laws against being nude in public. Some city and county ordinances, however, do make allowances for nudity in restricted areas.

What should parents do? Parents need to consider several factors. 1. Developmentally, children under age 7 usually are very comfortable with their bodies and adjust to being nude quickly and easily. Children in late childhood, 8 through 11, are more self-conscious about their bodies, and are more aware of the sexual aspect of being nude. Around 8 or 9 years of age, either the child or the parent begins to feel a little uncomfortable being nude in in front of each other and usually will ask for privacy. At age 12 and older, children compare their family to other families. If their family is different, they may feel embarrassed. Boys and girls at this age feel very uncomfortable being nude in front of anybody, especially adults. 2. Consider the feelings and the comfort level of your children. If your children are older than 7, you might ask them how they would feel being naked as a family, especially if non-family members are going to be present. 3. Examine your own motives. Sometimes people who want to be nude are unconsciously seeking excitement, freedom, attention or intimacy that is missing from their lives. There may be other ways to meet these needs without involving the whole family. 4. A good rule of thumb is to not do anything that you wouldn't want published on the front page of your local newspaper.

Recommendations: 1. Understand that whenever you go outside of your cultural norms you will incur conflict, criticism and judgment. 2. Take into consideration the ages and temperaments of your children. Are they going to be able to get enough reassurance from you to feel comfortable? 3. Examine carefully your own motives. 4. You, as parents, might test your feelings first by visiting a clothing-optional camp or beach without the kids.