PARENTING : WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD SAYS HE HATES HIMSELF.Byline: Greg Steckler and Gerald Deskin Dr. Gerald Deskin, Ph.D. (January 10 1929 - March 9 2004) was a clinical child psychologist, marriage and family therapist. He was credited with the founding of The Learning Center Foundation, a non-profit foundation dedicated to research and the diffusion of knowledge for
Sometimes children come home from school or from playing in the neighborhood and say, ``I hate myself.'' Parents need to pay attention to these comments rather than ignore them. They often are a cry for help or reassurance REASSURANCE. When an insurer is desirous of lessening his liability, he may procure some other insurer to insure him from loss, for the insurance he has made this is called reassurance. from your child.
Children may be angry or upset with themselves for a variety of reasons. Other children may tease tease (tez) to pull apart gently with fine needles to permit microscopic examination.
v. or taunt them because they are in some way different.
The problem may be a physical one, such as, ``You're so fat,'' or the comment may be directed to anything different physically such as a larger nose or feet. Actually, any part of the body may be singled out to be criticized.
The problem may be due to other factors, such as the way one dresses, walks or talks. Children tend to criticize crit·i·cize
v. crit·i·cized, crit·i·ciz·ing, crit·i·ciz·es
1. To find fault with: criticized the decision as unrealistic. See Usage Note at critique. or tease anything that is different about another child. Or a child may be self-critical about something that nobody else notices. The problem may be an imagined one rather than a ``real'' one. However, it probably is very real to your child.
The reason children say they hate themselves is usually to gain parental support and to make sure that their parents will listen to them. Often something is not going well. It is not necessarily some other child's teasing teasing
the act of parading a male before a female to see if she displays estrus, and is therefore in a state where mating is likely to be fertile. , but that the child's sense of self is disturbed. For example, if a child feels that he or she is not socially accepted by a particular group, that child may withdraw and internalize internalize
To send a customer order from a brokerage firm to the firm's own specialist or market maker. Internalizing an order allows a broker to share in the profit (spread between the bid and ask) of executing the order. the imagined feelings of that group. It need not be true, but it is true for for that child at the time.
Children who are depressed may say they hate themselves. Not only do they have trouble relating to relating to relate prep → concernant
relating to relate prep → bezüglich +gen, mit Bezug auf +acc other children, but they often imagine slights from other children and adults that are not meant. If you feel unlikable or unlovable, then you might reject any effort from someone being friendly with you, since you feel you are not worth being a friend.
Parents can help by listening to their children. You can show your understanding by accepting that the feelings are intense at this moment and that your child is very upset.
You can hold or hug your child, or otherwise show your affection and acceptance. Saying to your child that he or she is perfect ad has no problem is not helpful. What is helpful is listening to the child and then suggesting possible solutions. Sometimes the child has his or her own solutions, which is why listening is so important.
If the problem is with one child or the school, it may be worthwhile talking to Noun 1. talking to - a lengthy rebuke; "a good lecture was my father's idea of discipline"; "the teacher gave him a talking to"
rebuke, reprehension, reprimand, reproof, reproval - an act or expression of criticism and censure; "he had to that child's parent and seeing if you can stop the teasing. At school, the teacher may or may not have very important information as to what is going on with your child. Sometimes teachers can observe children's interactions on the playground.
As children develop small groups, which tend to exclude other groups, or as children are not chosen for a game, it is sometimes easy to spot why there is a problem. If not, the teacher still may have some positive recommendations.
If you can't solve the problem, it may be necessary to seek professional help. A child counselor or child psychologist child psychologist Psychology A mental health professional with a PhD in psychology who administer tests, evaluates and treats children's emotional disorders, but can't prescribe medications should be able to evaluate your child and quickly give you feedback on the best way to handle the problem.
Suggestions for parents 1. Listen to your child and reassure re·as·sure
tr.v. re·as·sured, re·as·sur·ing, re·as·sures
1. To restore confidence to.
2. To assure again.
3. To reinsure. him if he says he hates himself. 2. If the problem is not resolved fairly soon, consult a professional.