PACKER BACKERS FEW AND FAR BETWEEN.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH The Media

Being Billy Packer these days includes wearing a target on the back of your balding head big enough so that even Dick Cheney couldn't mistake you for Bullwinkle.

Actually, Packer and CBS would prefer to look at it as a lightning rod, one that continues to draw viewers to its glowing coverage of the NCAA men's basketball Tournament - in part because of these things that keep coming out of his mouth.

The 66-year-old self-proclaimed technophobe has somehow survived another year in the college basketball broadcasting business, about to work as a national TV analyst on his 32nd consecutive NCAA Final Four, the last 25 of them at CBS. The National Basketball Hall of Fame has already given him its Curt Gowdy Media Award for lifetime service. Network chief Sean McManus has practically guaranteed that Packer will be around for as long as he's breathing.

Aside from Dick Vitale, Packer has remained the go-to guy when it comes to procuring opinions about the sport, starting with how the media coverage - particularly, by CBS - has shaped into this multibillion dollar partnership with the organization in charge of putting it on each March.

While he's paid by the network to give insights, the residual effect seems to be inciting incredulous responses from those in the media and beyond. There's got to be a line forming for those who want to slap one of those bumper stickers across Packer's forehead that reads: ``Don't Believe Everything You Think.''

This year, it's his explicit disbelief that so many mid-major conferences garnered invitations to the 65-team field - particularly those from the Missouri Valley Conference.

``You've got to be kidding,'' Packer said aloud to NCAA selection committee chair Craig Littlepage during CBS' coverage of the brackets almost two weeks ago, trying to rationalize how the mid-majors were swiping bids at the expense of, specifically, the ACC and SEC, which had a more proven track record.

The MVC had three at-large invites. Bradley and Wichita State, as we know by now, advanced to the Sweet 16, along with another mid-major, George Mason.

In a conference call with reporters earlier this week, Packer says he finds criticism of his comments ``rather amusing,'' and if CBS didn't like what he says, it should get rid of him.

Then he threw out there: ``We need Bradley and Wichita State in the final.'' Which is interesting since CBS' primary audience for the Memphis-Bradley game Thursday was just 15 percent of the country because it wanted to highlight Duke-LSU, and it plans to do the same tonight with George Mason-Wichita State (12 percent), burying it behind Villanova-Boston College.

Packer isn't offering up any mea culpa for his earlier statements, which he contends have ``been blown way out of proportion.'' He tried to put a new spin on them during Sunday's telecast of the Villanova-Arizona game, when CBS put up a graphic showing a breakdown of the Sweet 16. Packer pointed out that as many ACC and Big 12 teams (three) had advanced as MVC and Colonial teams, and the latter two personally ousted Michigan State, North Carolina, Kansas, Pitt, Seton Hall and Tennessee.

``That's what's great about this tournament - you gotta play the games and no one's opinions matter,'' Packer said then.

He's the one who's got to be kidding, right? Does this conveniently mean whatever he says doesn't matter either?

Web sites that Packer may never see - he relished in pointing out in a recent HBO ``Real Sports'' story that he doesn't use the Internet, or a cell phone, or pretty much any other kind of technical gizmo that might help him do his job more efficiently - are in full attack mode. Some take on somewhat colorful names (www.upyoursbillypacker.blogspot.com) so there's no question as to their purpose.

It causes many of us to revisit the question: Is the cantankerous, defiant, old-school Packer still relevant in today's media coverage of college basketball? Or is it time for him to pack up his hammer and chisel and follow his compass home?

Whatever your conclusion, it seems he could care less.

``I've been in the middle of firestorms before,'' Packer said, alluding to one he started just two years ago when he criticized St. Joseph's seeding on tournament selection day. ``This doesn't in any way bother me ... In a way, it's a compliment and it's comical.''

It depends on if they're laughing with you or at you.

SOUND BYTES

WHAT SMOKES

-- As The Ticket 1540-AM scrambles to revamp its lineup by attempting to shift some of its hosts around, extend their hours and convert a couple to a national show for the Sporting News Radio Network, the station is fading from view as the flagship home for USC football coverage after five seasons. Expect an announcement after the Kings' current season ends on KSPN-AM (710) that the ESPN affiliate will be the Trojans' new residence starting this fall, sources insist. Meanwhile, the Sporting News Radio Network has been trying to streamline and move its corporate headquarters from Chicago to Los Angeles as rumors persist that it is shedding bodies dressing itself up for a sale.

-- In the 10-to-11 a.m. hour Sunday when four sporting events overlapped in the L.A. TV market, the Los Angeles Marathon coverage on Channel 4 (4.6 rating) outdrew the Lakers-Cavaliers game on Channel 7 (2.9), the NCAA men's basketball tournament on Channel 2 (1.9), and the Dodgers' exhibition game on Channel 9 (0.7). Overall, the marathon, with a 5.2 combined rating from KNBC and Spanish-language KVEA, did better than the Lakers (3.7) and the NCAA games (2.6). Factor in that a rain-delayed NASCAR event on Channel 11 (which had actual race action from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.) ended up with a 1.4. ``I'm definitely surprised it beat the Lakers,'' said Channel 4 marathon host Fred Roggin, whose own production company provided all the sounds and pictures. ``But when you think about it, it's the premier event for the average Southern California resident. They're watching their family, friends and neighbors, and there's a group watching for the drama if the male runner can catch the lead woman runner.''

WHAT CHOKES

-- Keith Jackson has started talks about his future with the ABC-ESPN family, but the legendary college football play-by-play man has made it clear that the network will be doing most of the talking if he's going to be persuaded to stick around for a 54th season. ``My posture is, I consider myself retired,'' the 77-year-old Sherman Oaks resident told the New York Times. He also admits to making on-air mistakes ``and I hate it.''

-- Another way to crash your company's computer: The PGA's official website (pgatour.com) brought back its ``Live(at)17'' link to allow users to view the 17th island hole at the TPC Sawgrass during the The Players Championship. There's also a scoreboard to show how everyone's doing, including how many went into the water. Today's the last day it will be able to access from 4:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

-- ESPN is in the process of holding qualifying tournaments around the country to put together a 16-player team of Americans that will ``compete'' against a world squad in the first World Series of Darts, an eight-part televised series starting in July. But it might have gone one rung lower than that in its attempt to find the ``new'' poker for the next generation of viewers. Spanish-language ESPN Deportes began this week carrying the 2005 World Domino Tournament, and there's an English version of it set to air on ESPN2 in June. The event took place in November at Las Vegas. ``ESPN Deportes is once again pushing the envelope providing innovative programming,'' said ESPN Deportes general manager Lino Garcia in a press release about the event. Maybe that's a hint at the next big TV quasi-sports event: Actually pushing an envelope.

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SOUND BYTES (see text)

BY TOM HOFFARTH