Outspoken / Julius Berman.
I recently graduated from Deerfield Academy Deerfield Academy is a private, coeducational boarding school located in Deerfield, Massachusetts. It is a four-year college-preparatory school with approximately 600 students and about 100 faculty, all of whom live on or near campus. , a prestigious New England New England, name applied to the region comprising six states of the NE United States—Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, Massachusetts, Rhode Island, and Connecticut. The region is thought to have been so named by Capt. prep school, where I came out in the spring of my junior year. At this point I am finding it bewildering be·wil·der
tr.v. be·wil·dered, be·wil·der·ing, be·wil·ders
1. To confuse or befuddle, especially with numerous conflicting situations, objects, or statements. See Synonyms at puzzle.
2. to turn back and survey the path I took.
I came out to the 600 students in my school during an all-school meeting. My announcement was about the faith I placed in the community and how I felt safe enough to be myself and say "l am gay." I admit I was bluffing a little bit: I was taking a leap of faith. Still, I calmly expressed my trust in them so that I could make sense of the large step I was about to take into the Deerfield community.
The entire school rose to a standing ovation, and David Brewster For other persons named David Brewster, see David Brewster (disambiguation).
Sir David Brewster FRS, (11 December 1781 – 10 February 1868) was a Scottish scientist, inventor and writer. , my art teacher and mentor, gave me a bouquet. With that bouquet I received the most loving beautiful hug of my life.
I realized I was gay about the same time I entered Deerfield. It was only later I realized that not only do I like other boys but that this would set me apart. Perhaps it was naive of me, but I thought I could live up to the "Deerfield Boy" standards--right up until I said those three words.
The Deerfield Boy is cast in bronze Cast in Bronze is a traveling carillon, consisting of 35 cast bronze bells, played by Frank DellaPenna with fists and feet. The total weight of the instrument is 4 tons. and stands with the Deerfield Girl at the entrance to our large auditorium. The pair stand as symbols of the ideals of the school, but it is easy to make the connection between what the statues represent and the Deerfield kids who overwhelm the quad: the boys' J. Crew pink chinos chi·no
n. pl. chi·nos
1. A coarse twilled cotton fabric used for uniforms and sometimes work or sports clothes.
2. Trousers made of a coarse twilled cotton. Often used in the plural. and machismo machismo
Exaggerated pride in masculinity, perceived as power, often coupled with a minimal sense of responsibility and disregard of consequences. In machismo there is supreme valuation of characteristics culturally associated with the masculine and a denigration of ; the girls' Lilly Pulitzer dresses and hyperfemininity. These celebrated ideals leave little room for anything different. The school has a veneer of inclusiveness, hence the standing ovation, but it is hard for minorities to really feel like part of the community.
It's hard for gay male students at Deerfield, but it's better with a role model. My story was a success because I had a role model in my art teacher. When he left that year, leaving no openly gay males in the entire community except me, I didn't anticipate the burden of that position. Throughout my senior year I was hurt by the criticism I received. My grades slipped as my own success began to seem like a failure. Had a gay male in the community stepped up to help shoulder that burden, things would have been easier for me. I only hope another Deerfield comrade will carry the torch for younger students.
I can't say whether Deerfield will ever fully include LGBT LGBT Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender students. But stepping up and questioning is the first step toward tolerance. In retrospect I realize that by coming out, I was presenting a question to the Deerfield community: "I am representing myself and all the students who are this way. Will you acknowledge us?"
--Berman is 78 and lives in Massachusetts.