On education.

THROUGH MY website advice column, I'm inundated with email from frustrated teachers and choreographers who feel that today's young dancers don't seem to possess the commitment or dedication to rehearsals and/or classes that young dancers once did. Students still aspire to be part of the annual Nutcracker or the school's competitive ensemble, but they don't seem to understand that performance is a privilege that results from hard work and discipline. Even worse, some students are backed up in their uncommitted attitude by their parents!

Parents who made a financial commitment to their child's dance education once expected their child to fulfill the obligations of the program. They would stand behind their child's teachers when it came to discipline. They would encourage and appreciate the desire to offer life lessons such as dedication, perseverance, goal setting, respect for fellow dancers, and many other valuable qualities that lead to successful adulthood, whether their child ultimately chose dance as a career or not. Now I'm told that some parents lie or make false excuses for their child's absence from class or rehearsals.

In one case, a teacher received a call front a mother explaining that there had been a death in her family. Her daughter would not be able to attend the school's final dress rehearsal for The Nutcracker because they had a wake to attend.

At a rehearsal break the teacher rushed to a local Wal-Mart for some tools needed by her tech crew. To her surprise, she saw the supposedly grieving dancer and mother with a cart full of holiday gifts. When the teacher confronted them, they were speechless for a few seconds, and then the mother confessed that the family had fallen behind on holiday shopping because of Nutcracker rehearsals. She and her daughter needed a break, she said, and, after all, her daughter knew all the choreography and didn't need to rehearse anymore. When the teacher asked why she had used a death in the family as an excuse, she said, "Everybody does it!"

I ASKED this teacher how she'd handled the situation, filly expecting to hear that she had pulled the dancer from The Nutcracker. Not only was the dancer dishonest, but she and her mother had also let down the entire cast. Instead, the teacher told me that she kept her mouth shut and let the dancer participate. Why? She didn't want to upset them and risk losing the student.

In my opinion, both of the adults involved in this situation were wrong. The lesson this child is learning from the adults in her life is that it's okay to lie, and even if you get caught, there won't be repercussions. Down the line, this mother may wonder why her daughter is untruthful and she may never understand that she herself set the example.

I'm a firm believer that dance and discipline go hand in hand. Dancers learn discipline through commitment, dedication, and hard work. Performance opportunities such as The Nutcracker should be a privilege for students who are dedicated to achieving their goals.

It's time for teachers to establish a zero-tolerance policy for inappropriate behavior. Instead of keeping your mouth shut, take action. The first time you set the example by dismissing a child (either from a performance opportunity or from a school) for lying or missing a mandatory commitment, you will send a message to everyone involved: You expect a certain standard. Yes, this is risky. You can lose students by using this kind of "tough-love" technique. But it's essential that you establish and maintain limits now. You may lose a student, but you will gain respect.

TO GAIN control, I suggest that you write down your philosophy about why you teach dance and offer performance opportunities. Make a list of expectations for your students (and their parents), including rules for participation in school activities. Then create a handbook that clearly states your philosophies and expectations.

In a calm, cool, and extremely friendly way, hold a rap session with your dancers and their parents. Start by going over the handbook to "clarify your policies and expectations." Make it clear that only those students who show that they're serious about becoming better dancers will be allowed to participate. When you're done speaking, ask for questions or concerns. Be open to what is expressed, and understand that someone may be intimidated if you become defensive. Listen and learn.

It's tough to change students (or parents) who are already set in their ways. Learn from the experience and let it govern how you handle the privilege of performances in the future. Remember, these students represent your school and your teaching philosophy. Be sure your dancers represent yon in tire most positive light, lf they don't, you might reconsider whether The Nutcracker or other performances are appropriate for your school.

DANCE MAGAZINE columnist Rhee Gold is the director o[ Project Motivate, which sponsors retreats and seminars to reinvigorate dance educators. For more information, visit www.rheegold.com.