On Our Way to Beautiful: A Family Memoir.

by Yolanda Young, Villard Books, April 2002 $21.95, ISBN 0-375-50493-1

Much of the account in Yolanda Young's memoir On Our Way to Beautiful takes place in and around the church, because the church is a central part of the lives of the people of Shreveport, Louisiana. Just about everyone has a church they attend regularly, and their Sunday is regulated by the length of the sermon, the afternoon and evening programs and services, or whatever else the church has scheduled, be it baptisms, christenings or Sunday school programs.

One Sunday afternoon, Rev. Frank asks the young people to picture in their minds the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. Yolanda doesn't have to think too hard to conjure up an image of a Sunday afternoon gathering of her whole family with the matriarch Big Momma seated at the center of a long, banquet table. Flanking her is her daughter and granddaughter, and around the table -- her sons and daughters, and dispersed among them her great-great-grandchildren, Yolanda being one of them. This is a comforting picture for Yolanda because, as she recalls, "Among them I felt loved, complete and safe."

It is Big Momma with whom she feels safest. She is everything to her--teacher, nurturer, comforter and supporter. However, Big Momma expects the best from Yolanda, like the time she volunteered her to memorize and recite Psalm 119--all 176 verses of it. But when Yolanda opened her mouth to begin, she cannot speak. She has forgotten it. Ashamed and embarrassed, she runs and buries her face in Big Momma's breast, crying, "I'm so sorry ... I'm so sorry."

Big Momma and her daughter, Honeymoon, are also there for Yolanda and her mother, Kitty, when they have trouble with Yolanda's father. He comes to their house with a gun and shoots his estranged wife. The two older women rescue the younger ones--get Kitty to a hospital and Yolanda to a safe house. Yolanda and her mother soon move closer to their family in Shreveport.

Yolanda learns about all kinds of love from her family: The love between a man and woman: "Uncle Rat's body covered Aunt Shirley's. His darkness melted into her pink flesh ... He kissed her all over ... I imagined heat rising from him. I could see how much he loved Aunt Shirley ... It was in the tone of his voice when he called her name or just said, `baby.'"

She also learns about the love between a mother and son when the family goes to visit Uncle Will in Angola State Penitentiary, where he has been incarcerated for raping a nine-year-old boy. Will had always been different from other boys as a child. As he grew up, he began wearing makeup, braids and dresses. "He's just trying to get attention" his older brother says sympathetically. When it was time for them to leave, Uncle Will turned to his parents, "Do you still love me?" he asked, already in tears.

"Yes, precious baby" Honeymoon [his mother] said. "You never have to worry about that." Later, on the way home, Honeymoon confesses that the reason the trip to Angola is very hard on her is because she doesn't like crossing bridges. But she says, "I'd cross bridges for any of you--no matter what."

--Elsie B. Washington is a writer, editor and author of Uncivil Wars.