Omigosh! I forgot to embrace the culture of death.

There's an old feminist slogan that goes: "Omigod! I forgot to have children!" For those who don't appreciate feminist humour, it means that a woman need not have children in order to be fulfilled. It's true of course, since God does not call all women to the married state, and of those he does call, not all are able to bear children.

However, treating the subject of childbearing with such flippancy is calculated to offend people who believe that having children is a blessing and a privilege, not an item on a "to do" list. In feminism's universe, children are not individuals with inherent worth and dignity, but vehicles for one's self-fulfillment.

God doesn't put children on earth to fulfill their parents (to sanctify them, yes; to enhance their self-esteem, no). God calls children into existence out of love, and because he has a mission for them. He could create children out of thin air, but he has chosen to do otherwise. In his wisdom, God has given us the incredible gift of sexuality and fertility, allowing parents to become co-creators with him. There are few truths more awesome than this.

Sadly, many Christians have lost the sense of this sacred calling, adopting instead the 'culture of choice' attitude toward raising a family. A great many of us think it is none of God's business when, why, or how we have children. We pay lip service to the notion that children are a 'gift from God,' but then we add under our breath, 'God forbid that I have more than my atheist neighbour.'

Last summer, we celebrated the birth of our seventh child. Because our family is all girls, many people assume we have this many kids because we're desperately trying for a boy--as if we would have stopped at two, if we'd just been lucky enough to have one of each.

Over the years, I've heard a variety of ignorant and insensitive comments: "Oh, too bad you had another girl ... you'll have to try again;" or "So ... you didn't get your boy yet;" or (from a young seminarian who hails from a culture where--in my opinion--the conduct of most married men leaves much to be desired): "I'm praying that this time you have a male child." (My friend, save your prayers for the state of marriage in your country and mine.)

Even the inevitable back-up comment, "Oh well, as long as they're healthy," which I've heard from more church-ladies than I can count, seems to place conditions on your love. What if they're not healthy? Then you can resort to "compassionate homicide," as other parents have done?

The culture of death is a continuum, from fussing over the sex, to refusing to accept the cross of an untimely pregnancy or a handicapped child. Children have become collectibles (pink and blue) and commodities (gotta be cute, smart, and healthy). Children are raw material--one teachers' union ad recently stated: "Our greatest natural resource is our children." Balderdash. Trees and oil are natural resources; people are individual, unique souls created in God's image. Resources are used and sometimes exploited. Children are to be welcomed, loved, protected, taught, and loved some more.

The couple who think they have a "right" to a child (or the right to a healthy child), are different, not in kind, but only in degree from the pornographer who thinks he has the right to exploit a child, the pedophile who thinks he has the right to molest a child, the abortion advocate who thinks he has the right to kill a child.

One thing seems to have escaped the proponents of the 'culture of choice we will one day be held accountable for all the choices': we have made. On Judgement Day, we will not be able to say, "Oh, my God, I forgot to do Your will." Because He will know, as we do, that we are lying. We don't ever "forget" to follow the Lord. We choose to follow Him, or to reject Him.

We love and cherish (as God does) each and every one of our girls. We are not "trying" for a boy; we are trying to be open to God's will for our lives. We have seven kids because we have chosen to embrace the Gospel of Life. It is no accident that we live the way we do. We choose to honour God and we pray that He will reward our choices, not only by continuing to bless our lives, but by blessing the lives of our children and our children's children.

Mariette Ulrich is a mother and a homemaker. She writes from Scott, Saskatchewan, where she lives with her husband, Dan and seven daughters.