Oh, brother! Your bro is, without a doubt, the most annoying human being alive, right? And here comes summer, when you're stuck with him, like, from morning to night. Are you doomed to clash 300-style during the entire sweaty season? Nope. GL shows you how to throw down a peace order--once and for all.

Icky, creepy, caveboy brothers--ya can't live with 'em, but it's so darn illegal trying to sell 'em on eBay. Yep, your sib is a nightmare. At least you get a break from him during the school year since you're both up to your ears in classes and extracurriculars. Once vacation rolls around, though, he's got all the time in the world to pick fights, trash your stuff, get you in trouble, embarrass you beyond belief, and act all rude 'n' crude. It's like he lives to make you cringe.

But you can combat the buggy-brother blues. We tackle all the most frustrating facets of head-buttin' with the bro, then reveal goof-proof strategies for putting the kibosh on conflicts. All you've gotta do is learn some new skills for negotiating and communicating. If only the UN ran so smoothly ...

I'm Rubber, You're Glue

YOUR BRO'S LOW BLOW Your BFF is hosting the first barbecue of the summer, so you decide to work your new cute shorts. You're feelin' foxy as you head out the door--until your brother looks up from his Game Boy and sneers, "Hey, super-chunk! Didn't know you got so fat during winter!" You instantly start rackin' your brain for a nasty comeback.

THE SMART-GIRL TACTIC Put the revenge vibe on pause. We don't need to tell you what'll happen as soon as you serve up that stone-cold slam--a wicked fight's gonna start (just like it always does). Nope, your goal's gotta be to change up the pattern and not engage your dear ol' brother in battle, no matter how bad he baits ya. So just how do you do that, exactly?

Do yourself a favor and don't snarl back at him. That's what he wants. He finds sheer joy in getting a negative reaction from you (brothers are just weird that way). Don't give him the silent treatment, either. Instead, show him his words don't bother you by smiling, then bursting into laughter--not in a mean way, but with genuine good humor. What your chuckle should say is, "Let's not even go there, bro. I'm just going to let this one slide." After a few sees, he'll probably laugh right along with you. Then, without saying a word, you've defused the tension bomb.

What Goes Around Comes

YOUR BRO'S LOW BLOW He is constantly messing with your stuff. He dropped--and broke--the tennis trophy you won at camp and didn't 'fess up until you found the pieces on the floor. He sucked down in one long slurp the can of Frappuccino you bought for yourself. When you confront him about being so inconsiderate, he shrugs and says, "Life's tough--get a helmet!"

THE SMART-GIRL TACTIC Know the playing field you're on. Your brother is hogging the ball big-time, and the only way to even the score is to teach him that selfishness has major consequences. The way to do it? Give him a dose of his own medicine. But do it by playing fair, even when he doesn't. Pawning his most prized possession or freeing his pet hamster into the wilderness is stooping sooo low--and he'll for sure get you back harder in the long stretch.

So write your brother a note, telling him you're giving him one more chance to respect your belongings. If he doesn't, you have no choice but to treat him the same way. Now, slide the note under his door--he's been warned. Keep a copy of the note for yourself, too, and wait a couple of days. Best-case scenario, he leaves his grubby mitts off your things from here on out.

More likely? He will pounce again. When he does, know what you're gonna do? You know that spankin' new Modest Mouse disc he inadvertently left in the CD player in the family room? Take it out and put it in a safe (but secret!) place. Treat it with tender lovin' care--don't scratch it, spit on it or use it as a coaster. When he comes at you totally freakin' when he figures out it's missing, you'll smile, hand him the CD and say, "Here's the deal--don't wreck my things, and I won't wreck yours. Got it?" Chances are great he'll get the idea. Otherwise, keep your Frappuccino and trophies where he can't get to them.

The Blame Game

YOUR BRO'S LOW BLOW Every time your beloved gets in trouble with the 'rents, he pins his slimy ways on you. Like, last week, he pushed you into the pool while you were wearing your fave vintage sundress and claimed you fell in by accident. Or Friday night, he missed curfew, but tried to play it off by saying he came home on time but you locked him out on purpose. You're worried your folks believe him over you.

THE SMART-GIRL TACTIC This sitch calls for a good clearing of the air. Yep, you've gotta go to your parents and tell them straight up that your brother is lying. Nope, this doesn't make you a weasely tattletale. Many sisters avoid complaining about their bros because they think they've gotta be loyal. Yet, loyalty goes two ways. If your brother is doin' you dirty, you've got to stand up for yourself, period.

So ask for a full-on family meeting. Then, with him and your folks present, say, "I'm not out to get my dear brother busted, but he blames me for things I'm not responsible for. It's not OK, and I want you to know the truth." Then lay out exactly what has been going down. If your parents ask you any questions, just answer them calmly and honestly.

If your brother gets majorly punished for what he's been doing, don't feel guilty--by telling your 'rents the real deal right in front of him, you were as fair and upfront as you could possibly be.

Savin' Face With Grace

YOUR BRO'S LOW BLOW He finds incredible, evil glee in embarrassing you in front of your crushes. He told Sam you drool in your sleep. He told Kevin you were totally bald until you were 5. Now you like Mark, and (yay!), he just popped over to check out your fare's yard sale. The convo is going super-smooth, when--sheesh!--your brother is running across the lawn toward you two. How do you block his shot?

THE SMART-GIRL TACTIC Stay cool. Don't glance all wide-eyed with worry--if your brother sees you're freakin', he's gonna really enjoy it. Continue calmly chatting with Mark, and wait for the bro to burst in and rudely interrupt you.

Then, instead of trying to shut him up, let him say anything he wants--the

more dopey, the better. After he's announced that you were born with a lizard tongue that confounded medical science for several years and cracks himself up like a loser, just look at Mark and say, "Now you know why my family's having the yard sale--to unload my brother. Although if nobody wants to pay cash for him, we're willing to give him away free to a good home."

Your brother might get all mad and try to get in a few more licks, but it won't matter--you've already blown his creds to shreds. And you did it with finesse!

File That Vile Style

YOUR BRO'S LOW BLOW It's official--your brother is the grossest guy alive. He farts in your direction on an hourly basis. He spews huge, disgusting burps right into your face. Yesterday, in front of your buds, he took the leftover pizza crust off your plate and ate it. With his mouth open, of course. You can't stand another sec of his grody ways.

THE SMART-GIRL TACTIC Certainly, you've begged the boy a million times to stop being so disgusting. You've probably also pleaded with the 'rents to whip him into (semi-human) shape, but they can't control his crassness either. So, realize all the yelling and demanding in the world isn't gonna have any effect on a guy who takes such pride in his slobhood.

Rather than bickering, negotiate with him. Ask, "What are three things I do that totally bother you?" Let him reel off your alleged faults--using his razor to shave your armpits, humming along under your breath to American Idol songs, hogging the bathroom.

Now make him a deal: "I promise to quit doing all those things for a week, if you promise to stop farting, burping up a lung and showing me your ear wax." Turn it into a bet, and shake on it. Then keep your end of the bargain, and remind him you're doin' it. If he slips up and picks his nose, don't flip--just start the deal over again. Then, at the end of the week, re-up the bet. Continue to avoid doing the three things that drive him crazy, and vice versa. Hopefully, this will retrain the grossology in his brain.

And your bad habits have changed too, right? It's all about keeping an open mind and a chill perspective. If you bring these new skills to the table every time you and your bro have a showdown? You guys will nearly always find a solution that'll stick like a booger. (Sorry.)

Bro is me!

Not feelin' the brotherly love? You're so not alone. Readers spill their bros' dastardly deeds ...

He was babysitting me when I was little, and I was bothering him so he handcuffed me to the pantry door. I had to stay there until my parents got home. When they did, he said, "Well at least she could get to food."

My brother poured garlic seasoning in my shampoo bottle. I took a shower that morning, and all day at school my hair smelled like a chicken dinner gone bad.

When he was about 4, I turned off the TV show my brother was watching so he stabbed me with a fork.

When I was 9, he locked me in the bathroom and fed me Fruit Loops that he pushed under the door. He recently stole my bra and posted pictures of himself wearing it on his MySpace page.

My brothers read my diary and said they'd tell my crush everything unless I did whatever they said. I hid it under my mattress before going to my bud's b-day party. When I got home, my diary was gone and my room was trashed--and my mom blamed me!

I'll never forgive my bro for the time he asked me who I liked and I told him. He looked up his number, called him, and was saying "My sister's in love with you" when I wrestled the phone away.

My little brother lies on the floor and screams. When my dad comes over, he says, "Aimee pushed me down." I get grounded, and he gets ice cream.