OUR TAKE: WHEN A TV STRIKE BECOMES REALITY, REALITY TV WILL STRIKE.Byline: David Kronke Television Writer WARNING: Children or adults with weak constitutions or some vestige vestige /ves·tige/ (ves´tij) the remnant of a structure that functioned in a previous stage of species or individual development.vestig´ial ves·tige n. of an aesthetic sense should not read this story. As entertainment industry strikes by writers and actors edge closer to reality, ``reality'' is edging closer to defining the entertainment industry. The Daily News has obtained, through complicated and secret means, the networks' ``Plan B'' for the fall season, in the event that original scripted dramas and comedies with professional performers are unavailable for air. What this schedule reveals is, in the end, none too surprising: NBC NBC in full National Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. commercial broadcasting company. It was formed in 1926 by RCA Corp., General Electric Co. (GE), and Westinghouse and was the first U.S. company to operate a broadcast network. , headed up by former news producer Jeff Zucker Jeffrey Zucker (born April 9, 1965) is an American television executive, and President & CEO of NBC Universal. He is a 5-time Emmy Award winner known for his aggressive promotion of his network's programs. , will focus on infotainment; CBS (Cell Broadcast Service) See cell broadcast. will continue to capitalize on Cap´i`tal`ize on` v. t. 1. To turn (an opportunity) to one's advantage; to take advantage of (a situation); to profit from; as, to capitalize on an opponent's mistakes s>. its ``Survivor'' phenomenon; Fox will continue to exploit its bottom-feeder strategy in creating shows that require little thought but plenty of cynicism; and ABC ABC in full American Broadcasting Co. Major U.S. television network. It began when the expanding national radio network NBC split into the separate Red and Blue networks in 1928. will continue to wonder where the heck all its viewers got to. Okay, before we go on, we admit that we made this up - sort of. Just remember on Monday NBC ran the special ``The Crocodile Hunter: Wildest Home Videos'' - and we're not making that up. Sunday < 7 p.m. CBS: ``180 Minutes'' (newsmagazine) ABC: ``The Wonderful World of Walt Disney's Union-Busting Attempts'' (reality documentary series) Fox: ``Rupert Murdoch's Supermarket Sweep'' (reality game in which Murdoch goes on a spending spree Noun 1. spending spree - a brief period of extravagant spending spree, fling - a brief indulgence of your impulses , acquiring numerous media companies, then lays everyone in them off) NBC: Sports Overruns, or: ``NBC Programmers Praying Humiliatingly Adv. 1. humiliatingly - in a humiliating manner; "the painting was reproduced humiliatingly small" demeaningly for Sports Overruns So They Won't Have to Fill the Night With Shots of Them Praying for Sports Overruns'' < 8 p.m. Fox: ``Wet T-Shirt Island'' (reality game in which the host, surrounded by buxom teen and 20-something girls, seeks to figure out if the show has any rules) < 9 p.m. ABC: ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'' (Sundays: unemployed actors) Fox: ``Don't You Know Who I Am?'' (video footage of celebrities trying to bully their way past long lines In communications, circuits that are capable of handling transmissions over long distances. and into good concert seats, free gifts and gratis GRATIS. Without reward or consideration. 2. When a bailee undertakes to perform some act or work gratis, he is answerable for his gross negligence, if any loss should be sustained in consequence of it; but a distinction exists between non-feasance and meals) NBC: ``Steve Irwin
Stephen Robert Irwin (February 22, 1962 – September 4, 2006), known simply as Steve Irwin and nicknamed "The Crocodile Hunter : Crocodile Hunter Rassles Rabid rabid /rab·id/ (rab´id) affected with rabies; pertaining to rabies. rab·id adj. Of or affected by rabies. rabid affected by rabies. Wild Boars'' < 10 p.m. ABC: ``Non-viable Reality TV Hour'' (a compendium of prototypes of reality series that died in development) NBC: ``Next Week on 'Today' '' (newsmagazine) CBS: ``Touched by a Scab'' (Re-enactments of old ``Touched by an Angel'' episodes by nonunion nonunion /non·union/ (non-un´yun) failure of the ends of a fractured bone to unite. non·un·ion n. The failure of a fractured bone to heal normally. laborers) Monday < 8 p.m. ABC: ``Monday Night Football'' Fox: ``Human Sacrifice Island'' CBS: ``Survivor: The Gaza Strip'' NBC: `` 'Titans' Episodes as Performed by the Cast of 'The Michael Richards Show' '' (secretly taped after the show was canceled last season) WB: ``Pimple pimple, small pointed elevation of the skin that may or may not contain pus. The formation of pimples is frequently associated with infection, irritation, or overactivity of the sebaceous and sweat glands. Repeated eruptions of pimples are often termed acne. Island'' UPN UPN User Principal Name (Microsoft Windows 2000) UPN United Paramount Network UPN Unión del Pueblo Navarro (Navarrese People Union) UPN Umgekehrte Polnische Notation : ``WWF See Windows Workflow Foundation. Chains of Hatred'' (people who really hate one another are chained together, wherein they try to strangle Strangle An options strategy where the investor holds a position in both a call and put with different strike prices but with the same maturity and underlying asset. This option strategy is profitable only if there are large movements in the price of the underlying asset. each other or smash in the other's head with the chains) < 8:30 p.m. NBC: `` 'Michael Richards Show' Episodes as Performed by the Cast of 'Titans' '' (secretly taped after the show was canceled last season) < 9 p.m. Fox: ``Robert Downey Jr.'s Favorite Court Appearances'' CBS: ``Survivor Bloopers and Practical Jokes'' NBC: ``Dateline: Monday'' WB: ``Roswell'' (reality series tracking teens in Roswell, N.M., lamenting the lack of new episodes of ``Roswell'' the sci-fi series) < 10 p.m. NBC: ``Steve Irwin: Crocodile Hunter Swallows a Mouthful of Black Widows'' Tuesday < 8 p.m. CBS: ``Survivor: Kinshasa'' ABC: ``Monday Night Football's Greatest Hits'' NBC: ``Dateline: Tuesday'' Fox: ``Jessica Alba Island'' (Fox's hottest star takes a vacation and spends much time rubbing herself down with tanning oil) WB: ``Popstars 2: Australian Outback'' UPN: ``WWF: Bloodier Wrestling Than Usual'' < 9 p.m. NBC: ``Celebrity DUI'' ABC: ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'' (Tuesday: Unemployed Writers) CBS: ``The Marketing of 'Survivor' '' Fox: ``When Jessica Alba Attacks'' (video clips of Fox's hottest star's travails with paparazzi pa·pa·raz·zo n. pl. pa·pa·raz·zi A freelance photographer who doggedly pursues celebrities to take candid pictures for sale to magazines and newspapers. ) WB: ``Slaying the Slayer'' (geeky ``Buffy the Vampire Slayer'' fans act out their favorite scenes and e-mail one another rumors concerning Sarah Michelle Gellar Sarah Michelle Gellar (born April 14, 1977) is an American actress. She is perhaps best known for her role as the fictional character Buffy Summers in the acclaimed television series Buffy the Vampire Slayer, for which she received a Golden Globe Award nomination. ) UPN: ``WWF: Worse-Acted Wrestling Than Usual'' < 10 p.m. ABC: ``The Mole 2: Network Saboteur'' (low-level functionaries at ABC try to figure out who at the network had given so much prime-time scheduling over to lame nonscripted programming before the strike even began) NBC: ``The Best of 'Dateline: Monday' '' CBS: ``Judging Amy's Decision to Go on Strike'' (celebrity looting and panhandling) Wednesday < 8 p.m. ABC: ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'' (Wednesday: unemployed executive producers) Fox: ``Temptation Island: Pompeii'' CBS: ``Survivor: Belgrade'' NBC: ``Dateline: Ed'' (newsmagazine set in a quirky Midwestern town) UPN: ``WWF Bloopers and Practical Jokes'' WB: ``Popular'' (reality series with real high-school students trying to re-enact re·en·act also re-en·act tr.v. re·en·act·ed, re·en·act·ing, re·en·acts 1. To enact again: reenact a law. 2. scenes from the high-school series without falling over laughing) < 9 p.m. NBC: ``The West Wing's Grammar Lesson'' (high jinx abound as linguistics professors try to diagram some of George W. Bush's sentences) ABC: ``Whose Line Is It Anyway?'' Fox: ``Chimptation Island'' (The original series, re-enacted by cute monkeys) CBS: ``Survivor's Mark Burnett Counts His Money'' WB: ``Girls Who Stalk James Van Der Beek'' < 9:30 p.m. ABC: ``Whose Line Is It Anyway? Special Edition'' < 10 p.m. ABC: ``Jack in the Box 24/7'' (reality co-production with ABC News examining life 'round the clock at a fast-food restaurant) NBC: ``Law Orders'' (reality series about policemen's dinner breaks) CBS: ``Celebrity Liposuction'' Thursday < 8 p.m. CBS: ``Survivor: Chechnya'' ABC: ``Whose Line Is It Anyway? Executive Edition'' NBC: ``The Best of 'Friends' Contract Negotiations'' (super-sized edition) Fox: ``Grisly Dismemberments Caught on Tape!'' UPN: ``WWF: More of the Same'' WB: ``WB Executives Scratching Their Heads Over the Acclaimed 'Gilmore Girls' ' Wan Ratings'' < 8:30 p.m. WB: ``Viewers Scratching Their Heads Over the WB's Decision to Air the Acclaimed 'Gilmore Girls' in Such a Deadly Time Slot'' ABC: ``Whose Line Is It Anyway? Special Executive Edition'' 8:40 p.m. NBC: ``The Best of NBC's Thursdays-at-8:30-p.m. Programming'' (teeny-sized edition) < 9 p.m. ABC: ``Families Watching 'Survivor' '' CBS: ``Thinking Up New Places to Have 'Survivor' '' (interactive TV) Fox: ``Pact With Satan Island'' WB: ``All the Wrong Places'' (reality series in which teen-age girls seek romance, but realize all teen-age boys like to watch WWF on TV) NBC: ``Steve Irwin: Crocodile Hunter Rassles Bobcats on Angel Dust'' < 10 p.m. NBC: ``Real-life ER Bloopers, Practical Jokes and Malpractice Lawsuits'' ABC: ``Title With Post-Modern Edge: Making Our News Seem Hip Somehow'' CBS: ``48 Hours: The Best of 'Entertainment Tonight's' Viacom-Centric Strike Coverage'' Friday < 8 p.m. CBS: ``Survivor Memories'' (Hour One, contestants on their travails; Hour Two, behind-the-camera personnel on filming the contestants; Hour Three, viewers on watching the show) ABC: ``Whose Line Is It Anyway? Hey, At Least It's Not 'The Geena Davis Show' Edition'' Fox: ``Gratuitous Tears'' (people caught crying, from tragic accident scenes to watching ``Terms of Endearment'') UPN: ``Extreme Stupidity'' (WWF athletes take IQ tests, then bust the heads of the test-givers) WB: ``Popstars: The 15 Minutes Are Over'' (how the girls handle the long ride back into obscurity once their fans age six months and lose interest) NBC: ``Hollywood Telethon'' (reality fund-raiser for starving actors/writers/crew members) <9 p.m. ABC: ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'' (Fridays: unemployed grips and best boys edition) Fox: ``Red Light District'' (Fox executives troll areas infested in·fest tr.v. in·fest·ed, in·fest·ing, in·fests 1. To inhabit or overrun in numbers or quantities large enough to be harmful, threatening, or obnoxious: with prostitutes and other lowlifes in search of participants on future reality series) NBC: ``Steve Irwin: Crocodile Hunter Rassles 'Temptation Island' Rejectee Babes'' < 10 p.m. ABC: ``20/20'' NBC: ``Law Orders: SVU'' (reality series about policemen's dinner breaks at Hooters This article is about the two restaurant chains collectively using the shared Hooters brand. For other uses, see Hooters (disambiguation). Hooters is the trade name of two privately held American restaurant chains: Hooters of America, Inc based in Atlanta, Georgia, and ) Saturday < 8 p.m. NBC: ``XBL See XUL. : The Extreme Badminton League'' (team badminton with an attitude) CBS: ``World's Greatest Public-Domain Computer Games'' (replays of the executive producer's favorite personal performances in Solitaire solitaire or patience, any card game that can be played by one person. Solitaire is the American name; in England it is known as patience. There are probably more kinds of solitaire than all other card games together. , FreeCell and Minefield) ABC: ``How Regis Philbin Spent His Day Off'' (multipart documentary examining June 17, 2000, and how ABC executive contrived to prevent Philbin from applying for a Screen Actors Guild card) Fox: ``Cops: Internal Affairs Investigates the Rampart Scandal'' < 9 p.m. ABC: ``Nightline Primetime: Day 127/Hollywood Held Hostage'' < 10 p.m. ABC: ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire'' (Saturdays: regular folks edition) NBC: ``Steve Irwin: Crocodile Hunter Rassles 'Oz' Inmates'' < 10:30 p.m. CBS: ``Big Brother'' (closed-captioned) CAPTION(S): 6 photos Photo: (1 -- 3) Reality series take over: ``Crocodile Hunter, top and ``Who Wants to Be a Millionaire.'' Below, Rupert Murdoch. (4 -- 6) Celebrities face reality: Robert Downey Jr., left, Jessica Alba and Drew Carey, host of ``Whose Line is it Anyway?'' |
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