OPRAH BALKS TALK SHOW DIVA REFUSES AFGHANISTAN INVITATION.

Byline: Joseph Honig Local View

PITY the war-torn millions of Afghanistan. They bury uncounted dead, suffer grinding poverty and lack any infrastructure worthy of a nation.

They will also have to get along without Oprah Winfrey.

For it was just this week that America's reigning talk show diva sent her regrets to the president of the United States. No, Oprah will not accept his invitation to travel 12,000 miles on an educational goodwill trip. No, she ``is not adding anything to her calendar,'' Winfrey's aides advised, and George W. Bush will just have to live with her decision.

Some gratitude.

Her Oprahness has in effect blown off the nation that enriched her, has told the White House that running a billion-dollar empire takes precedence over answering her president's call.

What cheek.

Now in normal times, Winfrey's refusal might be of moment to gossip writers and People magazine. After all, it's not as if President Bush asked that she perform some crucial diplomatic duty. She was simply asked to spend 48 hours or so cheering the post-Taliban return to school of Afghan girls.

But we are, after all, at war, and patriots must wonder how Oprah, the media boss of bosses, could stiff her own country.

It would have been good for the administration: Bush stalwarts have been trying to put a less-militaristic spin on adventures in Afghanistan.

And it would have been good for Oprah: a quasi-roughing-it respite from her Chicago penthouse and Santa Barbara ranch.

Of course, the benefits to Third World students living without basic cable would have been negligible. But you have to think that a few Oprah devotees might have sent some checks or used clothing to Kabul after seeing their Gucci-clad guru in Kipling country.

Let's see now, Afghanistan's tumbledown accommodations have hosted Dick Cheney and Central Command Army Gen. Tommy Franks. And Dan Rather seemed none too worse for wear after his own tour of duty.

Maybe it was Oprah's entourage causing the Winfrey-Washington disconnect. Did her personal trainer object to the sedentary nature of intercontinental air travel? Could a chef and dietitian have blanched at Air Force galleys? Was a seat not booked for Winfrey's latest pop psychologist, the grating, grinning Dr. Phil?

Who knows?

Perhaps the ultimate affront to America - and those blind-faith consumers of the Oprah brand - came when daytime's prima donna insisted that business would indeed suffer if she took a few days off.

This is tantamount to Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld suggesting that soldiers and sailors would miss paychecks if he took a weekend now and then.

Winfrey, whose minions have minions, can't really ask fans and fellow citizens to believe that her broadcast, magazine and household staffs would collapse in disarray if she spent a couple of days out of town.

Next thing you know, she'll be telling us she knows the secrets to happiness, physical fitness and cultural enrichment.

All this from a woman unashamed to promote popular entertainments, novels and dime-store spirituality as cures for troubled American souls.

In the end, no doubt, Oprah will prevail, putting a positive spin on her disappointing decision.

She will sell more books and films and continue to earn almost $100 million annually from her daily gabfest.

And if she has the slightest private regret, the smallest secret doubt about standing up her commander in chief, she need not feel guilty for very long.

There's always Dr. Phil to make the pain go away.

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