ONE MORE YAWN, AND HAHN IS GONE.

Byline: MARIEL GARZA

Looking Tuesday upon the Los Angeles City Council, Mayor James Hahn must have finally said to himself, ``What the hell.''

Throwing civility to the wind, he glowered at the council, many of whom enthusiastically helped him out of office. ``You're going to regret this,'' he shouted, wagging a finger at each one. His glare lingered for a long moment on Antonio Villaraigosa, the council member who's taking Hahn's job on Friday.

The crowded hushed instantly, shocked by the uncharacteristic uncorking of the normally restrained man. ``You won't have Jimmy Hahn to kick around anymore,'' he growled. ``I kept this city together, and when this city starts falling apart, don't come crying to me.''

He hoisted the framed commendation that the council had just presented to him, cracked it over his knee, tossed it at the podium and stormed out without so much as a goodbye.

No, that didn't really happen Tuesday, except in my head. But it should have. Because here is one of the things that Hahn actually did say during the council's farewell presentation to the city's 40th mayor:

``Public service is a wonderful thing ... I can't think of anything that's more rewarding than helping someone with a problem.''

Mayor Yawn strikes out one last time. It could have a been a great, history-defining moment. All the TV cameras were lined up on the podium, representatives from the country's largest media outlets were in attendance.

If ever there was a time and a place to take a stand, to say something memorable or just make the history books with an outburst, this was it.

Instead, it was a Hallmark moment. Which is why I had to channel disgraced former President Richard Nixon to keep it together. Nixon might have done a bunch of things unbecoming to a president of the United States, not to mention illegal, but his candidness in speech was refreshing in a job given to platitudes, euphemisms and insincerity.

And nothing brings out the worst of it like a goodbye.

It's bad form to talk trash about people on their way out the door or at their funeral. So even political foes who have accused each other of everything short of being a demon from hell part with the nicest words they can come up with without making things up.

So with the exception of Councilman Dennis Zine's remarks, which conjured up images of Hahn prancing around a beach in a Speedo (which, I think, actually was made up), this memorial to four years as mayor and 20 years as city controller and city attorney elicited few memorable moments.

Sister Janice Hahn cried with pride; Villaraigosa offered some conciliatory words; and Councilwoman Wendy Greuel told Hahn she thought he was a hottie when she met him - 20 years ago.

Councilman Bernard Parks, the former police chief who was fired by Hahn three years ago, chose not to skip the farewell entirely.

Probably he wasn't keen on his choice of remarks that neither praised nor criticized the man: ``Mr. Mayor, after a career of public service, you're now being forced out. I know a little about what that feels like.''

In contrast to this fitting end to a drab administration, the streets outside City Hall and around the civic center were being prepared for what is shaping up to be a rather elaborate debut of Hahn's successor. Already on Tuesday, signs had been placed on the streets around City Hall noting that they would be closed on Friday to allow processions of celebrators to move hither and yon during the five-hour inaugural ceremonies.

If this is any indication of the next administration's flair, I don't think I'll have to be making up outrageous scenarios for much longer.

Mariel Garza

mariel.garza(at)dailynews.com