ONE FREAKY DAY IN THE LIFE OF A CHICAGO CABBIE.

Byline: Stephen Holden The New York Times

It is 6 a.m. and 20 degrees below zero on a late December morning in the Windy City, and an unidentified cabdriver (Paul Dillon) picks up his day's first passengers, a middle-class couple and their squirming young daughter who are on their way to church.

Within minutes of entering his vehicle, the husband and wife begin prating about Jesus and pressuring the driver to worship with them. After nastily ordering their little girl to say how old she was when she was ``saved,'' the hostile child mumbles, ``4.''

These obnoxious, unbelievable religious fanatics are only the first in a long list of irritating caricatures who come to occupy the back seat of the battered, dirty taxi in which most of ``Chicago Cab'' was filmed.

The movie purports to show a typical day in the life of the driver, who is driven into a screaming fury by the collective demands of his rude, often pathological clientele.

The overdrawn stereotypes include a taloned lawyer who claws at him from the back seat and invites him home with her; a raving crackhead in search of a connection; an adulterous couple in sunglasses who exchange dirty talk and have quickie sex; a shrieking, pregnant woman who begins to give birth on the way to the hospital; and a couple of drunken businessmen from New York who pick a fight by slinging crude anti-Chicago insults.

All together there are more than three dozen passengers, most of them walking (or should I say riding) nightmares.

The problem with ``Chicago Cab,'' which Will Kern adapted from an original play, isn't that these characters aren't recognizable. It's that they're shrill one-dimensional exhibits in a cinematic freak show that bellows a hackneyed one-note message: Hell is other people.

Kern's overwrought dialogue has the hammy desperation of kitchen-sink realism trumped up for a play-writing exercise.

The actors do their best to bring their designated passengers to life, and occasionally they succeed against the odds. Some of the better-known actors with cameo roles include Laurie Metcalf, Gillian Anderson, John Cusack and Julianne Moore.

THE FACTS

The film: ``Chicago Cab'' (not rated).

The stars: Paul Dillon, Michael Ironside, Laurie Metcalf, John C. Reilly, Gillian Anderson, John Cusack and Julianne Moore.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Mary Cybulski and John Tintori. Written by Will Kern, based on his play ``Hellcab.'' Produced by Paul Dillon and Suzanne De Walt. Released by GFT Entertainment.

Running time: One hour, 36 minutes.

Playing: Mann Regent, Westwood.

Our rating: One and One Half Stars.