ON DIVAC, THE DRAFT AND HUMAN ERASERS.

Byline: MICHAEL VENTRE

Shivers from an NBA draft:

Sounds to me as if Vlade Divac lacks perspective. He should remember the Lakers rescued him from free-fall at No. 26 in the 1989 draft when no other team wanted him because of a language barrier and a possible military commitment. The Lakers made him a star; if he had gone elsewhere, he would have washed out and been playing overseas by now. He has had numerous opportunities, but continues to meander through the NBA schedule in a dense Euro-fog. He should accept the fact that Demi Moore will always get the parts his wife Ana wants; that North Carolina is one of the leading tobacco-producing states in the nation, and he's lucky somebody still wants his services. Oh, and by the way, the fans here won't exactly take it lightly if Divac is back with the Lakers as the man who stood in the way of bringing Kobe Bryant here. . . .

Just one observation on the Dallas cop who allegedly tried to hire a hit man to bump off Michael Irvin: Why do these rocket scientists always manage to contact an undercover agent? I mean, if you were going to hire somebody, wouldn't you ask for references? . . .

The Palm Springs Suns' ``clothing optional'' night on July 8 was canceled because it was feared too many people would show up. Apparently there was concern that not enough sunscreen could be obtained in time. . . .

Does tic-tac-toe qualify as an X-game? . . .

I have a hard time accepting Burt Reynolds as God in those ESPN golf promos when I see him looking like essentially the same character in trailers for ``Striptease.'' . . .

Martina Navratilova's remark that Steffi Graf's knee injury was suspect is either a ploy to angle herself for a job as an outspoken tennis commentator, or a desire to protect her own standing in tennis lore. Either way, it was self-serving and unnecessary. . . .

Stephon Marbury's comment that he didn't want to go to Vancouver because it was ``too close to Russia'' is yet another reminder that America's youth is sadly deficient when it comes to geography. Marbury probably thinks the Gaza Strip is a nightclub act. . . .

I guess there is little chance Shareef Abdur-Rahim will change his mind again and decide to stay at Cal. . . .

The All England Club was worried about how to handle the appearance of a rumored streaker at Wimbledon. Instead of having one officer chase the suspect, police favor a ``gentle convergence of stewards.'' Here is the difference in cultures: If you informed authorities in the U.S. that a bunch of men were going to gently surround another naked man for the purposes of disciplining him - and they were all going to be on grass when they did it - you'd have a heck of a lot of explaining to do. . . .

Glenn Robinson's inclusion on the Dream Team sounded like a marketing scheme between an agent and a shoe company from the very beginning. At least justice prevailed. Gary Payton is deserving. . . .

You're an incurable, over-the-edge hoop junkie if you thought ``Eraser'' was the story of Marvin Webster. . . .

I'd like to see them assemble a jury pool for the Michael Irvin trial from San Francisco or Green Bay. . . .

John Wallace was lauded for doing the smart thing and returning for his senior year at Syracuse, but then plummeted in this year's draft. That probably discouraged Wallace from any thoughts of going on to obtain his master's degree. . . .

If the Dallas Mavericks give in to Jason Kidd's ultimatum, then they might as well make him the general manager, because what happens down the road if he decides there are others he doesn't want around? Let him sit. . . .

Regarding Steve Howe: I think the bigger news item would be finding a New York Yankee who doesn't carry a loaded gun. . . .

Proposed match race: Michael Johnson vs. Cigar. . . .

I half-expected Donald Sterling to select Allen Iverson with the Clippers' No. 7 pick on the assumption that he believed he could win a bidding war with the Sixers. . . .

Mayor Rudy Giuliani wants New York to host the Summer Olympics in 2008. Some elements of the proposal include having the Olympic Village on Riker's Island, holding the shooting events at wherever they happen to erupt, and introducing Roy the Subway Fondler as official mascot. . . .

Wishing a speedy recovery to Tom Lasorda. Here's hoping this one step back leads to two steps forward. . . .

MEMO: Michael Ventre's column appears in the Daily News four days a week.