OLD, NEW SUIT TASTES.

Byline: TOM HOFFARTH

A roundup of some sports news we've pegged from recent days that manage to fit into the square hole:

What's the story: The New Jersey Nets held an open tryout for the first ``senior dance squad'' -- only those 60 or older could participate. The team stipulated that participants must ``have some dancing ability and coordination'' to perform during at least six games this season -- and they'll be wearing shirts that have their ages on the backs.

Fans are also being asked to come up with a nickname for the sexagenarian/septuagenarian swingers.

What's the spin: Paula Abdul, inspired by this version of the ``Hoboken Hotties'' -- that's just an idea we're throwing out there -- has decided to come out of retirement and perform again. Even better, the old-school ex-Laker Girl meets the age requirement.

What's the story: Reebok, the NFL's official apparel supplier, designed a suit-and-tie ensemble for coaches to wear on the sidelines, breaking a 13-year league-wide ban against such attire. San Francisco's Mike Nolan sported one last Sunday, and his team upset Seattle. Jacksonville's Jack Del Rio stretched into one for a Monday night game, and his team knocked off the New York Giants.

What's the spin: New England coach Bill Belichick, thinking about a way to steal a win and upgrade his image, might follow suit. He is expected to request, however, that his business casual look include the sleeves be cut above the elbow and have an optional hood.

What's the story: Oakland Raiders defensive end Warren Sapp said he refuses to eat out during team road trips for fear of having his food poisoned.

He cited three incidents in the past when it has happened to him: Before the NFC championship game in Philadelphia at the end of the 2002 season, when Tampa Bay won on the way to the Super Bowl title; before a divisional playoff game at Green Bay in January 1998; and at New Orleans, where the Bucs played a road game during the 1998 season.

Sapp, who joined the Raiders prior to the 2004 season, said he has not had food poisoning since leaving Tampa Bay.

``I've been good out here on the West Coast,'' he told the Associated Press. ``I guess they're more liberal out here.''

What's the spin: Since sizable Sapp joined the Raiders, the team has regurgitated a 11-31 record and lain dead last in the AFC West each year. Maybe that explains why his McDonald's Super-Duper-Sized Happy Meal Combo No. 12 has yet to be messed with.

What's the story: A group of scientists from Indiana University, hired by the Dairy and Nutrition Council, recently declared that a glass of low-fat chocolate milk is one of the most effective drinks to help athletes recover after exercise -- about equal to that of a fluid-replacement drink like Gatorade and better than a carbohydrate replacement drink like Endurox R4.

The difference is, milk is less expensive than the others, and has more nutritional value.

What's the spin: According to our Ovaltine secret decoder ring, we should ``all drink more -- orange juice.'' Wait, maybe something got lost in the translation.

What's the story: After the NCAA rejected McMurry University's appeal to keep its Indian mascot, the Abilene, Texas, school's board of trustees decided to forgo a nickname altogether.

``Going to a mascot that has four legs and fur just didn't fit who we are,'' said John Russell, the president of the university that is affiliated with the United Methodist Church. ``To take another mascot would be to turn our back on our 83-year history. We know who we are.''

What's the spin: Although we like the sound of the McMurry McFluries, there must be a method to the Methodists' madness. Before USC's football team was named the Trojans in 1912, they were first known as the Methodists in 1888.

Maybe they can pray on it.

What's the story: A couple of weekend hackers have come up with a product called Tasty Golf Tees -- an idea that came to mind when they noticed that many golfers popped a tee into their mouths as they headed to the next hole or waited to tee up.

The new tees, made from uncoated, sanitized wood, come in flavors including mint, cherry, strawberry and grape.

``If I flub a shot, I just change flavors!'' according to one testimonial on the product's Web site.

What's the spin: Did you know that if you take your scorecard and curve it just right, you can slide it between your teeth and use it as effectively as dental floss?

And if you stick your tongue in the ball-washing machine ... well, try it yourself and see.

What's the story: The LPGA announced it would test its tour players for performance-enhancing drugs starting in 2008. The PGA said it has no plans to conduct such tests.

What's the spin: Beware of tainted tasting tees.

What's the story: People magazine's latest issue of the ``Sexiest Man Alive'' includes tennis stars Andy Roddick, James Blake, Roger Federer, and twins Bob and Mike Bryan; NBA star Shaquille O'Neal; surfer Kelly Slater; retired tennis player Andre Agassi; and NFL stars Tiki and Ronde Barber.

What's the spin: Has Matt Leinart suddenly lost his sex appeal now that he's playing for a losing team in Arizona and is a detached dad?

CAPTION(S):

3 photos, 4 boxes

Photo:

(1) TONY ROMO

(2) JUAN PIERRE

(3) TOM IZZO

Box:

(1) sunday punch

(2) HOT ... LUKEWARM ... COLD FISH

(3) FANTASY FOOTBALL

- Matthew Kredell

(4) The Pop Quiz