OK in Oklahoma: after Anne Magro and Heather Finstuen moved to Oklahoma from New Jersey with twin daughters, the state passed a law prohibiting recognition of adoptions by gays and lesbians from other states. Backed by Lambda Legal, the couple of 15 years fought the law in court. In May they won.

What was your reaction when you first heard about the law?

Magro: I was angry and sad. I remember thinking that if I died, Heather should put the kids in the car and get out of the state as quickly as possible.

Did the girls understand what was happening?

Magro: We decided to talk to the kids about what was going on. They were just 5 at the time, but they understood it was a challenge to their right to have Heather as a parent. We were in the car listening to the 2004 Republican National Convention on NPR when Bush was talking about protecting traditional families. Our daughter Kate started bawling--really sobbing--for a good 20-30 minutes. When I finally got her to calm down, she said, "If he wins, are they gonna take Mommy away from us?"

Why stay and fight? Why not just leave Oklahorna?

Finstuen: I had just started law school, and Anne was midway though getting tenure [at the University of Oklahoma]. In a very real sense, we didn't have the luxury of saying, "OK, I'm leaving." But also, with all the antigay legislation around the country, going to another state seemed like a temporary solution at best. Once you start running, you never stop.

Magro: We had to fight. If you don't, you're complicit in your own oppression. And we were in a unique position: We're out to everybody, we have the support of our friends and families, and we didn't have to worry about losing our jobs.

Did the community embrace you?

Magro: Norman [where we live] is dominated by the university, so it's more liberal than most of the state. Our neighbors, the kids' teachers--it's never been an issue. I'm a Girl Scout leader, I'm the soccer coach. A student said to me, "I was raised to believe that what you're doing is wrong, but I don't see how anyone can meet your family and not respect who you are."

How did you react when the law was struck down?

Magro: Heather and I had a little champagne. The girls were dancing around the living room, singing, "Mommy is our mommy!" We're relieved, but we're also mindful this is just the first step. There are two more levels of court this could potentially be appealed in, so it could be years before we get a final decision.

Finstuen: It changed everything--even the way I looked at the kids. Even with the appeals, I felt like, OK, now nothing can come between us.