OFF THE TOP SHELF OH, MY! WHY SPORTSCASTERS SAY THE DARNEDEST THINGS.Byline: - Tom Hoffarth Sure, he works regularly with Dan Dierdorf Daniel Lee Dierdorf (born June 29, 1949) is a former American football player and current television sportscaster. He played 13 NFL seasons and worked for ABC's Monday Night Football and CBS as a color commentator since his retirement. , but Dick Enberg Richard Alan "Dick" Enberg (born January 9, 1935 in Mount Clemens, Michigan) is an American sportscaster. Enberg is one of the most prominent and respected play-by-play announcers in network television history, with a career spanning more than forty years. doesn't plan to make a career on the rubber chicken circuit anytime soon. Problem is, if the quick-read playbook to public speaking that he co-authored continues to go through reprints, the Hall of Fame sportscaster might have to endure a parallel career as a toastmaster toast·mas·ter n. A man who proposes the toasts and introduces the speakers at a banquet. toastmaster Noun a person who introduces speakers and proposes toasts at public dinners Noun 1. general. ``Dick Enberg's Humorous Quotes For All Occasions'' ($12.95, Andrews McMeel Publishing, 243 pages) is already in its third printing after eight weeks. It's easy to see why. Enberg makes preparing for an impromptu A Windows query and reporting tool from Cognos with support for a large variety of databases. It is capable of generating cross tabs for spreadsheets such as Excel, Lotus for Windows and Quattro Pro for Windows. speech before a group of strangers look like the easiest thing to do, if you just remember to don't overthink and don't overworry. Without making it read like a book of detached one-liners, Enberg has divided more than 1,000 quips into about two dozen topics that can be tailored to your audience. Take sports, for example. If you can slip a few of these in, it could make it much less painful: --``When I see joggers go by, I shout, `Jim Fixx is dead. Fats Domino lives!'' - Jason Chase. --``You know you're getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.'' - Larry Miller Larry Miller is the name of several notable people:
--``Men are very confident people. Even a 60-year-old man with no arms thinks he could play in the Super Bowl if he had to.'' - Rita Rudner Rita Rudner (born on 17 September 1956 in Miami, Florida) is an American comedienne and writer. Career Rudner has appeared in several television shows both in the US and the UK and appeared often on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. . --``I look on skiing as standing in an ice-cold shower while tearing up hundred-dollar bills.'' - Chad Morgan. --``My mom is 80 years old and still bowling. Yesterday she got three strikes. One was even in her lane.'' - Scott Wood. CAPTION(S): photo Photo: Amaze your friends, or a room full of strangers, with ``Humorous Quotes for All Occasions.'' |
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