Notes from the underground.

I SAW THE Fatal Flying Guillotines from Houston the other day. It was a Monday night in Phoenix, AZ, at a terribly publicized show. The singer for the Guillotines counted five paying members of the audience, the rest made up of opening bands. They tore it up for about six songs with their somewhat spazzy but full tilt rockin' stuff, all wearing matching light pink outfits (hey guys, don't wash your whites with your reds), switching instruments between songs, and called it quits, and I guess I can't blame them--nobody's psyched to play in front of 12 people ... A more populated show was the Black Halos from Vancouver, BC, the next night. Punk rock with hair and attitude to spare, these guys kicked it out tough and loud. Their singer Billy Hopeless was giving me shit for giving longboarders shit, but what can I say? Most of the longboarders I see are frat guys in flip flops. He did, however, give me something else: Resist Control. It's a video done by the folks at Skull Skates (yeah, PD!), a skateboarding institution. The video isn't particularly structured other than it starts at skateboarding's beginnings and winds up in the present. The music is great and matched to the time periods, and there's some great footage in there, especially the Vancouver scene ... Later that night Big Vinnie and the Cattle Thieves played loud and sloppy as the beer soaked the floor and the assholes falling down tried to slam dance. They've got a great 7" out as well, about an essentially universal phenomenon called "I was a Teenage Premature Ejaculator." Weren't we all ... In the little records category, checked out the new one by Top Ten, Tina Lucchesi's newest project. Good goddam that girl knows how to write a catchy and rocking song, and this is in the vein of her Tina and the Total Babes stuff. Check out "Never Get Enough" on Lipstick Records ... Another small gem this month is the 7" by Portland's Nice Boys. Sure it's a little sissified, but it's amazing power pop with one foot stuck right up T Rex' ass, catchy hooks and all. The band features Terry Six (from the Exploding Hearts--RIP) but it's their own deal. Look for You Won't See Me Anymore on Discourage Records ... Also from PDX comes the Clorox Girls. Whoa, fuck me Jesus! This one is a total go from the insane-o cover art to the closed groove after the first song, but the music is what really kicks ass. It's got a low rumbling to it that'll have you feeling like a cold medicine hangover, but it ain't slow and dirgy, it's up-tempo and loud, and limited to 200 so act fast, dirtbag! ... And speaking of Robitusin hangovers, there's a new 7" by the Functional Blackouts that is just plain as fucked up as their shit gets. It's the kind of shit you're going to play real loud at home, and your dad is going to say, "What the hell is that shit you're listening to?" And you're gonna say, "It's kick-ass music, dad!" And he's Donna yell, "That's not music! Turn down that racket!" And you're both going to be right, and that's the way it's been for generations. Welcome to the world, fucker ... Straight ahead and aggro comes Career Suicide from Toronto. Holy smokes, start skankin' with yer boots on and fist in the air, this sounds like some of the best early '80s HC stuff that was coming out, loud and proud and speedy as all get out, like a dose of RKL or Battalion of Saints. This one's a keeper ... On the more than slightly out there tip comes the Mumps Crocodile Tears 7" on Sympathy for the Record Industry. A NYC band in the late '70s that really didn't fit in anywhere (definitely too dorky for punk, too quirky for anything else), the single's a fun listen and will mostly impress your lady friends, if they've got any taste at all ... How about a heaping helping of muy primitivo slop, served up on a 7" slab by Ape City R&B? The lowest of lo lo-fi, this one is a shit stomper in garagified vein of the Gories (but even more stripped down) or for a more contemporary comparison something like BBQ, the one-man band ... And speaking of one-man bands, what the hell is this, some kind of 21st century revival? There's more than a few folks throwing their one-man hats into the ring, but lucky for me I've managed to stumble on only great ones so far. Case in point: King Louie LP Chinese Crawfish on Goner Records. Low down and swampy, staying true to his New Orleans roots (he's been in the Royal Pendletons, Bad Times, and a few others), this one is a toe-tapper with songs like "Beat Up By A Girl," "I'm So Sick of Your Headgear," and "I'm 13 and Too Ugly to Live." Hope his house didn't float away ...