Notes & Asides.

--Dear Bill: I am launching a campaign to introduce a synonymous vocabulary that will replace words that have outworn their usefulness or, in the present political scene, seem too harsh.

For example, gay, which destroys a useful adjective and is totally inaccurate in today's usage. It demeans homosexuals as limp-wristed gigglers, and could well be replaced by the noun androgene or the adjective muliebrous.

There is also considerable confusion over phallus, which does not trissilate, and thallus, which does. Liberals, moreover, should be required to use isocracy-equality that is physical, intellectual, and in the sack-for democracy.

I offer the following replacements:

Eisegesis: Incorrect interpretation of a text-i.e., the Constitution-by distorting the meaning to fit a preconceived idea. This would eliminate such terms as strict constructionism, and bring joy to the heart of Madam Justice Ginsburg.

Thesmophete: Lawgiver.

Sinistrocular: Using the left eye more than the right.

Misosophy: Hatred of wisdom.

Liberticide: A proponent of liberal policies.

Misandry: Feminism, or hatred of men by women.

Coprozoic: I wouldn't want to shock NR's readers, so I refer them to skata, as in scatological.

Calotte: Sen. Lieberman's yarmulke, which brings him closer to Rome, but raises no questions as to whether he does or does not wind phylacteries every morning, as do Herman Wouk and other orthodox Jews.

Anabiosis: Return to life after seeming death, applicable to Democrats and Republicans.

Allalalia: A disease under which words are spoken or employed without thought to their meaning, as among New York Times and Washington Post editorial writers and Anthony Lewis.

Depotentiate: Divest of power, as applied to ex-presidents.

Via media: Arthur Schlesinger's "vital center"-to the left of Karl Marx.

Vigintillion: Ten to the 120th power, or fiscal restraint to Sens. Kennedy and Clinton.

Misocapnic: Hating tobacco smoke.

Blissom: Sex-crazy.

Given your passion for words, Bill, I am sure you can find another couple of scores, including neologisms.

After all, you reintroduced oxymoron.

Best,

Ralph [de Toledano]

Washington, D.C.

Dear Ralph: A splendid beginning!

Warmest,

Bill

--Dear Mr. Buckley: I note that the noun gravitas is discussed again in "Notes & Asides" in connection with Vice President Cheney [Dec. 18, 2000].

Gravitas is not a salutary word as Mr. Arfaa writes.

Gravitas is found in Webster's Unabridged under the 8th definition of gravity: "lowness of pitch, as in sounds . . . heaviness, equiv. to grav(is) heavy . . ."

I'd say that under this definition Mr. Cheney is a heavy guy who rumbles when he speaks. If one is charitable, perhaps it could mean that his words carry weight.

Next I turned to Webster's "New Words Section," where gravitas is given its own definition: "seriousness or sobriety, as of conduct or speech."

I know people who are serious and sober, and sound like it, but they are not necessarily intelligent or wise. I conclude that gravitas is not a salutary word to describe Mr. Cheney. (It's like the adjective fulsome, which is much misused.)

Cordially,

John Hirsch

Eagles Mere, Pa.

Dear Mr. Hirsch: Okay, but what's that about "salutary"? Gravitas, as used in current situations, is not intended to suggest remedial qualities; rather, weighty.

Cordially,

-WFB