Not-so-desperate HOUSEWIVES.

Byline: Karen McCowan The Register-Guard

For about a year now, Santa Clara resident Mickey Leanos has had trouble getting people to take her seriously when she gives them the billing address for her husband Jose's painting business.

"When I get to Wisteria, they laugh and say, 'No - what is it really?' ' she recounted, laughing a bit herself.

That's because Leanos is a "Desperate Housewives" fan. So she knows full well why the name of her street off River Road evokes entirely different connotations today than it did one year ago.

Then, "Wisteria" had a faintly old-fashioned air, suggesting twining vines, curling tendrils and delicate flowers.

But along came ABC's sexy satire of suburban life on fictitious Wisteria Lane. When it became a blockbuster hit, the name of this suburban Eugene street suddenly triggered images of hot housewives, adulterous gardeners and secrets buried beneath backyard swimming pools.

"That Wisteria Lane is pretty intense," Leanos said. "My husband says our street is exactly the opposite! On the show, its like a hot bunch of ladies. Everybody around here is quite a bit" - she paused, searching for a diplomatic term - "older."

Eugene's Wisteria Street is just one block long, running parallel to River Road at the 3300 block. Some residents are longtime retirees who have lived in their modest, ranch-style homes since the subdivision was built about 1970.

Only Rick and Deanne Herman's home appears to have anything in common with the palatial, Southern California digs of TV's Wisteria Lane: a palm tree.

"It was already here when my husband bought the house 22 years ago," said Deanne Herman, a special education instructional aide at Twin Oaks Elementary School.

Herman said she enjoys watching "Desperate Housewives" with her 25-year-old daughter. They plan to resume their Sunday night ritual tonight, when the show begins its second season.

"We make jokes about how our Wisteria Lane is not quite as risque as theirs," Herman said. "But we wouldn't miss it."

The Eugene street has no flirting, across-the-street neighbors Mike and Susan, no children of unhappily-at-home-mom Lynette terrorizing the neighborhood; no bored Gabrielle seducing her hunky, high school gardener.

"But there is a handsome young gardener who takes care of the yard next door," Herman said. "He's my nephew."

Brett Herman of Herman's Lawn Services acknowledged that his duties there include trimming roses, the very flower the television show's smitten young gardener John presented Gabrielle, nearly tipping off her jealous husband Carlos.

Herman, who said he's happily married, has taken some ribbing about his Wisteria Street gig. But he's never heard so much as a suggestive word from his client there (she's never even seen the show), he insisted - never mind having to scramble half-dressed out of a bedroom window.

Compared to their TV counterparts, Wisteria Street's residents lead downright boring, conflict-free lives.

"We've actually have had a weekly neighborhood poker game for 15 years," Deanne Herman said.

Yawn.

There probably isn't even a backyard pool to fill in and conceal a body beneath.

"Actually, we used to have a pool," Herman said. "And we took it out a couple of years ago. But the only thing buried back there is our dog - and maybe a couple of goldfish."

CAPTION(S):

Eugene lawn service owner Brett Herman may not witness the kind of action seen on the Wisteria Lane of "Desperate Housewives," but his clients include Wisteria Street resident Rosemary Dyke. ABC A scene from "Desperate Housewives" shows the character Gabrielle (Eva Longoria) with her high-school- age gardener John (Jesse Metcalfe).