Northern exposure: how an Alaska law denying benefits to same-sex partners of state employees turned a lesbian mom into an activist. (Behind the Headlines).

Mari Billington, a lesbian stay-at-home mom, articulated the frustrations of gay and single parents across the nation when she took the state of Alaska to task on May 22. Billington filed a friend-of-the-court brief as part of a lawsuit the American Civil Liberties Union is bringing against the state. "I need health insurance--which I can't get from my partner's taxpayer-funded employer because we aren't married and I can't get from the Medicaid `safety net' because we're treated like we are married, "Billington said. "I want our state supreme court to hear exactly how this affects real families."

Alaska bans same-sex marriage but also declares that only married state employees can get health, pension, and insurance benefits for their partners. At the same time, the state's Medicaid program may deny benefits to someone because they have a same-sex partner. The ACLU's suit does not seek to invalidate the ban but argues that using marriage as the litmus test for benefits constitutes discrimination based on sexual orientation and gender. The Advocate talked to Billington, 44, about what sparked her newfound activism.

What triggered your role in the Alaska case?

I had a medical bill this winter that was higher than expected. I was denied coverage under Medicaid because we were categorized as an unmarried couple [rather than two single people]. But we're only unmarried because the state won't allow us to be married. Talk about a catch-22. It just really played on my sense of injustice, and I decided to do something about it.

Meanwhile, you're raising a child.

Our daughter is covered by my partner's health insurance. So at least I don't have to worry about her. I'm a full-time mom, and I don't think I should be penalized for that. It's taken a little time to get used to not working in a regular job. But it's also been delightful for us to spend so much time with our daughter.

How do opposite-sex parents treat you?

Our straight friends have been amazing. They are genuinely outraged that I am not allowed to marry the same way they are. One of my friends is a house-husband who is insured by his wife's policy. He can't understand why it's not the same for me. They have encouraged me to talk to lawyers and go to the legislature about the problem.

Yet in 1999, state voters passed a ballot measure banning same-sex marriage.

I really don't understand. Everyone I know really fought against it. The only thing I can imagine is that voters didn't really understand same-sex marriage yet. They didn't understand we have the same needs they do. They are just used to seeing marriage as a man and a woman. On social issues [Alaska] is conservative. But on the other hand, the state tends to be libertarian and resistant to government interference. The libertarian and conservative tendencies are sometimes at odds with one another. A lot of people don't want the state messing with their lives. I think that when people come to understand the stakes for their gay neighbors, they will change their thinking.

Will this case help bring about this change?

I feel very hopeful. The Alaska constitution is very forceful on equal protection. This is a good state to deal with the fact that gay people are not being protected equally.

Is it "marriage or nothing"?

No. The ACLU case talks about marriage. But, frankly, we would settle for equal domestic benefits. We have to have intermediary steps so people learn that theses, rights won't hurt anyone. I've always said that before I die, I want to get legally married in our Unitarian church, with the full ceremony in front of all our friends and family. I think it's going to happen.