No worries, Beijing puts world at ease; Olympics will reveal the scripted China.

Byline: Chris SINACOLA

COLUMN: SINA-CISM

The Beijing Olympics begin a week from today, and I couldn't be more excited.

For starters, like most of the world, I'm holding my breath to see whether the smog and haze that often shroud the capital of the world's largest Communist nation will lift in time to permit the world to see its athletes at play.

Assuming the games emerge from the mists, I went to the official Web site - http://en.beijing2008.cn/ - to see how things are shaping up.

"With a multitude of things to see and do in Beijing, everyone will feel at ease in the capital city," promises the teaser for an Olympic promotion video.

I suppose most folks will feel welcomed by all that Beijing and the Chinese have to offer. Comfort levels may vary, however, particularly if you're an asthmatic, a political dissident or a Tibetan.

Word is that the Chinese, mindful of terrorism, have put extraordinary security measures in place. Tiananmen Square, for example, will feature an "Olympic emblem-modeled parterre" or flower bed, song, dance, calisthenics and a fireworks show, but authorities warn that "visitors to Tiananmen Square will need go through a security check."

I am guessing that check involves each individual staring down the barrel of a tank.

But then, what could anyone have against China?

Sure, they buy 70 percent of Sudan's oil, providing the cash needed to buy munitions to keep the blood flowing in Darfur.

And sure, China has been selling radar and jet fighters to Zimbabwe's thugocracy since 1989 in exchange for access to minerals.

And sure, the Chinese have repressed their Tibetan minority since 1950, regularly rattle their sabers over Taiwan and squelch dissidents like gnats.

Is any of that reason to deprive China of its "One World, One Dream" Olympic love fest?

Anyway, you needn't worry about anyone making trouble. Any untoward events are unlikely to make it to TV or even the Internet, because the Chinese authorities have vowed to carefully control media venues. They have much practice on that score.

In a way, I'm actually glad, because I am dying to know which emaciated teenage gymnast is going to flip her way into the record books this time around.

The Chinese team includes two girls, He Kexin and Jiang Yuyuan, who authorities swear are 16-year-olds and thus eligible to compete, but I think I'd have an easier time persuading someone I'm still 29. At the very least, if these girls are any indication of how the Chinese feed their daughters, I suggest a week of emergency super-sizing at McDonald's.

Further proof that you can't trust Communists (I mean the International Olympic Committee in this instance) with America's treasures has emerged with the release of new rules for Olympic baseball.

Because baseball is an American game, it is being kicked out of the Olympics after this year anyway, but in a last pitch to show baseball can conform to the demands of the Olympic schedule, this year's games have a rule for extra innings.

If a game is tied after nine innings, the teams will play the 10th inning just as we do in America. But if matters are still tied, each team will be permitted to begin the 11th inning at any point in their batting order, and place runners on first and second base. Any subsequent innings would retain the two-on-with-nobody-out rule.

After all, we don't want to subject fans to the tedium of watching managers make difficult decisions, or expose players to excessive doses of unhealthy air at beautiful Wukesong Sports Center Baseball Field.

I remain convinced the extra-innings changes are unnecessary, because from the photos I've seen, I should think a fly ball anywhere in the outfield would be lost in a cloud of pollutants and suffice to bring the game to an abrupt end.

As if all these attractions were not enough, the Beijing games will feature some staples of past Olympics, including sophisticated drug testing and even a sex determination lab, which, according to the Xinhua news service, will "test female Olympic athletes suspected to be males." With some 10,500 athletes expected in Beijing, we could be talking scandals involving 20 or 25 men. Or women. Or manly women. Or whatever.

Finally, in the unlikely event the Chinese lose at table tennis, the ambassador to the United Nations has the power to simply veto that defeat at the next meeting of the Security Council.

Let the games begin.