No comment.

Beware of Darwin

From the, Tuscaloosa News on the state of Alabamas decision to renew a provision that requires stickers on biology textbooks asking students to question the "controversial theory" of evolution: "At the urging of the Christian Coalition and the Eagle Forum, Alabama's Board of Education voted without dissent Thursday to include the sticker in the front of new biology texts that public school students will use for the next six years.... Alabama's Board of Education voted for the original disclaimer sticker at a board meeting in 1995 where then-Governor Fob James impersonated an ape to poke fun at Charles Darwin."

Hurray for Capitalism!

On December 2, people in 100 cities around the world participated in a WalkForCapitalism. "We want to honor people like Bill Gates--creative and productive individuals from every walk of life ... who make our lives immeasurably better," said Prodos, a radio talk show host in Melbourne, Australia, who is coordinating the action. "Our event will be a huge contrast to the anti-capitalist riots in Genoa, Toronto, and Seattle," he said in a press release before the event.

Trail of Fears

From a public service warning in the Mission Trails Regional Park News in San Diego: "When exploring the East and West Fortuna areas of the park, remember, if you find a piece of unexploded ordnance, don't touch it; mark its location; call the Fire Department at 911, and wait for their arrival!"

Special Delivery

From a Reuters report on an Afghan family living in Herat when a crate full of food crashed into their house, on November 20: "With seven people, mostly women and children, asleep in the house, it was pure luck that no one was hurt, though [their] two-year-old son was trapped under the rubble for some time.... Yellow food packages, labeled a gift from the people of the United States, packets of peanut butter, and Pop Tarts littered nearby gardens."

Revisionist Aftertaste 

From the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel: "Pabst Brewing Company has issued a public apology after the brewer's Chinese licensee ran an ad campaign linking Pabst Blue Ribbon beer to Chinas invasion and occupation of Tibet.... The billboard, which stands in the Tibetan City of Lhasa, reads, `Pabst Blue Ribbon celebrates the 50th anniversary of the peaceful liberation of Tibet.'"

Trial by Fire

From an Associated Press article: "Osama bin Laden, dead or alive? For many members of Congress, dead will do.... `The best thing that could happen is that he not come out of a cave that we've blown up,' said Representative Ike Skelton of Missouri, the top Democrat on the House Armed Services Committee ... Most emphatic was Democrat Joe Biden of Delaware, chairman of the Foreign Relations Commitee. `Kill him. Shoot him. I mean it.... I don't want to capture him.'"

Don't Know Jack I

From a USA Today interview with Jack Welch, former CEO of General Electric, who was asked how he defines social responsibility: "Win. By winning, being profitable. Only then can you be a socially responsible company. If you are worried about your job, you can't give anything back."

Don't Know Jack II

From the same USA Today interview with Welch, who was asked how his 1995 heart bypass surgery changed him: "I thought to myself, `Before the operation, I didn't spend enough money.'"

Graduating Criminals

A.P. ran a story about the U.S. Army's Western Hemisphere Institute for Security Cooperation, which protesters claim is still teaching the brutality of its notorious predecessor, the School of the Americas. The story quoted a military spokesman saying: "Criminals often go on to commit crimes in spite of the best effort of the institutions they attend."