No baloney: meatless hot dogs, deli slices, and bacon.

Foney Baloney, Fakin' Bacon, Not Dogs. There's a parallel universe alongside the hot dogs, bacon, sausages, and luncheon meats at your local supermarket.

But why bother with meatless when you can pick up a low-fat version of just about any meat?

* Because people who eat more red meat have a higher risk of colon and prostate cancer (though something else about their diets or lifestyles could be the culprit).

* Because soy foods (with isoflavones) might cut the risk of heart disease, cancer, osteoporosis, and the symptoms of menopause (see Cover Story, Sept. 1998).

* Because veggie meats are cholesterol-free and most have less sodium than their meat or poultry cousins.

* Because some people would rather eat an ex-bean than an ex-animal.

But people don't eat reasons. The trick is to find something that appeals to your tastebuds as well as your brain cells. Here's the scoop on veggie hot dogs, deli slices, sausages, and bacons that met our criteria for "Best Bites": no more than five grams of fat and 480 mg of sodium per serving. (We didn't include saturated fat, since none of the products contained more than two grams per serving.)

Hot Dogs

The next time you're looking for something to plop into your bun, think Yves Veggie Cuisine. The Canadian company makes Veggie Wieners and Tofu Wieners that approach the flavor (though not the juiciness) of whatever your local hot dog stand has to offer.

A bonus: Yves adds enough thiamin, vitamin B-12, and pantothenic acid to rival the B-vitamins in pork and beef dogs. (It doesn't add protein or iron, because the soy supplies them, though the iron in meat is better absorbed.)

With some mustard or ketchup, onions, and relish, Nasoya NewMenu VegiDogs and Lightlife Smart Dogs! and Wonderdogs were pretty tasty, though no one would mistake their mild flavor for the real thing. Lightlife Original Tofu Pups didn't taste quite as good, but perhaps we were thrown off by their unfortunate yellow hue and slightly rubbery texture. Lightlife and Nasoya don't fortify their soy with any vitamins.

Yves Veggie Chili Dogs and Spicy Jumbo Veggie Dogs missed out on either taste or texture. SoyBoy Not Dogs and Leaner Wieners missed out on both. Ditto for all five canned veggie franks that we tried (Loma Linda Linketts and Low Fat Big Franks, Worthington Veja-Links and Low Fat Veja-Links, and Cedar Lake Tasty Links).

Deli Slices

Blindfolded, you'd have no trouble telling which deli slices had meat and which ones didn't. But with mustard or (fat-free or light) mayo, meatless can make a satisfying sandwich ... if you pick a decent brand.

Based on our tastebuds, that means Yves Veggie Pepperoni; Lightlife Smart Deli Old World Bologna Style, Roast Turkey Style, or Three Peppercorn Style; or Tofurky Original Style or Hickory Smoked Deli Slices. Chicken-roll fans should check out Worthington Meatless Chicken slices, while its Meatless Wham pulls off a decent imitation of ham.

Yves and Worthington are fortified with some of meat's B-vitamins, but all supply at least as much iron and protein as the real thing. As for taste: Lightlife's Foney Baloney was just okay, but White Wave could use a course in Imitating Luncheon Meats 101.

Sausage

Pick up some Morningstar Farms Breakfast Links or Patties and you'll never miss the taste of meat. Ditto for Worthington Prosage Links or Patties. Both brands (they're made by the same company) contain four added B-vitamins. SoyBoy Breakfast Links had real sausage flavor, too.

Garden Sausage and SoyBoy SoySage don't try to taste like meat, but their interesting flavors still go nicely with your egg-white omelette.

Not so for Fantastic Foods Nature's Sausage or Lightlife Italian Lean Links, Lightsausages, and Gimme Lean! Sausage. Each may send you scurrying back to the meat counter.

Bacon

Lightlife Fakin' Bacon Smoky Tempeh Strips have the best numbers (and the best name), but not the best taste.

Yves Canadian Veggie Bacon missed our Best Bite sodium cutoff by just 10 ma, but it's a dead ringer for the real thing. And despite their hot pink and white color, Morningstar Farms Breakfast Strips--and the identical Worthington Stripples--tasted remarkably like real bacon ... especially when nestled in a BLT.