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A Twisted Order

From Newsday.com, on a mall shop boss in South Huntington, New York, who was arrested after he allegedly ordered his teenage employee to go the extra mile: "Jason Goodman, manager of New York Pretzel, allegedly told the fifteen-year-old that he needed a plastic ornament for his car. He then promised the teen a raise if he went out to the parking lot and stole one. The teen did--but it was caught on a Saks Fifth Avenue security camera."

Free to be Wireless

From the Corporate Crime Reporter on the estate of Martin Luther King Jr., which sold the rights to his "I Have a Dream" speech to two telecommunications companies, Cingular Wireless and Alcatel: "French telecommunications giant Alcatel used King's image to convey the company's message of making connections, complete with the voice-over slogan: `Before you can inspire ... you must first connect.' Cingular Wireless is using King's `Free at last, free at last' soundbite to promote its cell phones."

Paper Gun Control

From an article in The Washington Post datelined Irvington, New Jersey: "Authorities said that eight-year-old Hamadi Alston stood up at his desk at Augusta Street School last Thursday, pointed paper folded to look like a gun at his classmates, and said, `I'm going to kill you all.' Hamadi said he was imitating what his friend, Jaquill Shelton, had done earlier that day. The police chief said Jaquill had given Hamadi the paper gun in the bathroom. The two boys were suspended and, under the district's zero tolerance policy, school officials notified police, who charged the boys."

In Memoriam 

From the on-line edition of the Herald Times Reporter datelined Manitowoc, Wisconsin, on Richard Nixon mega-fan Allan Brixius: "His classroom at Two Rivers Catholic Central School, although he is a social studies teacher, is full of Presidential pictures, primarily of Nixon.... He himself wears a Nixon watch, a new line of Nixon active wear, and even boasts two tattoos of the former President on his biceps.... If that's not enough, one room in his apartment could be considered a shrine to Nixon. Brixius proudly displays everything from signed book jackets to his inaugural china to potpourri made from the flowers used at Nixon's funeral."

Carcass Bartering

From the on-line edition of the Herald & Review News, datelined Decatur, Illinois, on Macon County Animal Shelter officials who have allegedly traded cat carcasses for electric staplers, coffee makers, and other shelter supplies: "County Auditor Dave Sapp said he is conducting a thorough investigation of the arrangement.... Under the arrangement, NASCO picks up frozen cat carcasses in Decatur once a month. In return, the animal shelter receives credit on its account, which its chief warden uses to purchase various things.... NASCO is an educational and biological supply company based in Fort Atkinson, Wisconsin. Its voluminous web-based catalog lists many cat byproducts, including cat skulls."

Frontiers of Free Enterprise, I

From Ananova.com, on the Romanian government's plans to build a new theme park: "Tourism minister Matei Dan says Dracula Land will open in summer 2002. It is thought it will be in Transylvania. Mr. Dan says the park will be a tribute to the image of a great Romanian hero. There will be a Dracula Institute at the theme park, which will coordinate with the 4,000 Dracula clubs worldwide."

Frontiers of Free Enterprise, II

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