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Mount Limbaugh

From The New York Times on Rush Limbaugh's reaction to the notion that neither he nor his talk radio program is featured much in the news anymore: "`I'm part of the landscape of America,' he said. `They don't talk about Pike's Peak every day. They don't talk about Mount Rushmore every day. But it's there.'"

What? Me Racist?

From an Associated Press story in the Wisconsin State Journal datelined Spokane, Washington: "A federal judge says he doesn't have to apologize for notes he exchanged with courtroom staff that contained racially offensive language.... The Spokesman-Review reported that U.S. District Judge Alan McDonald wrote, `Ah is im po tent!' in one note while a black man was testifying .... McDonald said the notes were never intended for the public and were being misrepresented."

Bombs, Not Food

From The New York Times on Representative Sam Gejdenson, Democrat of Connecticut, on the value of the Naval Submarine Base in Groton: "Gejdenson, whose Congressional district includes Groton, said it would be impossible to quantify a century of Navy influence on the region, `but certainly it has to be in the hundreds of billions of dollars.' ... Mr. Gejdenson said that without submarines, southeastern Connecticut would be much more heavily dependent on fishing or farming."

How to Get a Man for Under Ten Grand

From the Philadelphia Inquirer's on-line edition on Manhattan psychotherapist Marilyn Graman and her seminar for single women called "Marriage Works--A Step-by-Step Intensive Program Designed to Lead You Down the Aisle": "What do you get for your $9,600? A talk with an interior designer on how women's living spaces can inadvertently shut out men, a home visit by an image consultant who will make your closet `man ready,' a trip to the bridal shop so you can visualize yourself getting married, twice-weekly group lectures by Graman focusing on what's holding you back, individual weekly sessions with a Graman-trained `Guidess,' two Q&A sessions with a panel of live men, instructions on acting like a goddess, and five three-day weekend workshops aimed at making you nicer to be around."

McRatatouille

From an Associated Foreign Press story, datelined Paris, on McDonald's response to anti-globalist attacks: "The chain's restaurants across France are swapping gherkins for courgettes (zucchini) in their burgers and promoting nuggets of ratatouille (a traditional vegetable stew with olive oil) and black currant-flavored ice cream, in a campaign designed to bring out the flavors of the south of France."

Forever Fido

From The Washington Post on the company Genetic Savings and Clone: "For now, the company simply offers a way for pet owners to store frozen tissue samples from their dog, cat, or other domestic mammal.... The company provides special mailing packs to speed delivery to its College Station, Texas, lab. When the technology for cloning is ready at last, the team plans to spur those frozen cells to grow in embryos, which will be transferred to the wombs of surrogate mother pets.... While tissue storage fees range from $1,000 to $2,500, the company has not yet set a price for cloning."

Missing at the Firing Range

From an article in The Seattle Times: "In a money-saving measure, British Royal navy recruits are being ordered not to fire live shells. Instead they are instructed to shout `Bang.' Sailors at the gunnery school in Plymouth check coordinates, line up a target, and prepare to fire the shells, which cost $955 each, then shout."

Horatio Bush

Former President George Bush in The New York Times, on being a proud papa: "Two governors of big states, one of whom might just be President. What a country!"

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