No Comment.

Love Hurts

From a Reuters on-line article datelined Miami, Florida, on a phone sex operator who won a workers' compensation settlement: "The now forty-year-old employee of Fort Lauderdale's CFP Enterprises, Inc., said she developed carpal tunnel syndrome--also known as repetitive motion injury--in both hands from masturbating as many as seven times a day while speaking with callers."

Everyone Has a Price

"EBay, Inc., an Internet auction site, banned a California man from selling his soul to the highest bidder because there was no proof the item for sale actually existed," reported Deutsche Presse-Agentur. "In the past, several sales of souls got through the eBay system unhindered, with prices ranging between $1 and $10."

Rudy Meets Karl

From a New York Times article on Mayor Rudolph Giuliani's crusade against Marxism: "The mayor's latest encounter with the Red Menace came as he faced down the threatened strike from the Transport Workers Union and its dissident faction, the New Directions Caucus.... `There are people who want to cause anarchy,' the mayor warned.... `One of the leaders of New Directions said he would take away the profit orgy of Christmas from businesses.... It's a true misunderstanding of what America is all about. That comes from the influence of Marxism, and if you need any better indication of it, it was said at a Marxist study group.'"

Camp Megabucks 

From an article in the Los Angeles Times on a Los Angeles Family magazine ad headlined "Do You Want Your Child to Be a Millionaire?": "The ad pitched a `Millionaire Camp' in Lake Arrowhead that says, `Give your child the tools to become successful in business,' and promises to teach children ages nine to sixteen about `business planning, marketing, pricing, sales, saving, investing, and the stock market.'" The millionaire camp costs $1,900 for a two-week stay.

KKK, Ha, Ha, Ha

From a Reuters story datelined Buenos Aires: "Argentine human rights groups have demanded a magazine ad for Hawaiian Tropic suntan lotion, depicting a suntanned man being dragged off by the Ku Klux Klan, be withdrawn because it is offensive to blacks.... It portrays white-robed and hooded members of the white supremacist group hauling away an incredulous white man from the side of a private swimming pool--a bottle of Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil is in the foreground. `The tone is humorous, the idea is: You're going to get so black that the Ku Klux Klan are going to come after you,' said Carlos Perez, creative director of Grey Argentina, the agency that dreamed up the ad."

Forget the Inner Beauty

From a Mobile Register on-line report on Chick-fil-A restaurant founder S. Truett Cathy and his ban on men wearing earrings: "`If a man's got an earring in his ear and he applies to work in one of my restaurants, we won't even talk to him,' S. Truett Cathy said after a speech to more than 300 people at the University of Mobile."

An Easy "A"

From an Associated Press article datelined Nebraska that appeared in The Boston Globe: "The creator of Cliffs Notes--the study guides that enable college students to get through literature classes without actually reading the books--is donating $250,000 to establish a professorship in English at the University of Nebraska--Lincoln. The gift ... will endow a chair in nineteenth century American Literature."

What, Me Worry?

Burrelle's Information Services is promoting a new service called CyberTalk. For $160 per month and $3.50 per dip, it will monitor conversations on the Web, edit the information, and deliver it to clients electronically. "The gossip and rumors and innuendoes in the chat rooms and forums on the World Wide Web are threatening to ruin the reputations of people and companies who cannot defend themselves simply because they don't know what's being said. Now you can be prepared!" writes Senior Vice President Ray Krastins in a February letter.

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