New slants for old themes.

Byline: Denis Kilcommons ,

Here are some answers taken from a Catholic elementary school test in America:

Noah's wife was Joan of Ark. The animals came on in pears.

The Jews were a proud people who throughout history had trouble with unsympathetic genitals.

Moses led the Jews to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread which is bread without any ingredients.

The Egyptians were drowned in the dessert.

Afterwards, Moses went up Mount Cyanide to get the 10 amendments.

The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The seventh commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.

Solomon had 300 wives and 700 porcupines.

The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.

The epistels were the wives of the apostals.

St Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached hole acrimony which is another name for marriage.

Christians only have one spouse. This is called monotony.

(From the mouths of children ...)