Negotiation advice aired at women's network. (Events).

More than 50 FEI women members and their colleagues met at the New York Stock Exchange in mid-March and enjoyed an informative two-hour breakfast presentation by author Deborah M. Kolb, who offered practical advice on managing the challenges of negotiation in the workplace. The event was sponsored by the FET Women's Network and The Harvard Business Club of New York.

Following a short history of the NYSE and an introduction by Marla Bace, EVP and COO of the FEI Research Foundation, participants turned their attention to Kolb as she outlined specific instances of everyday life that require some type of negotiation. Kolb is co-author of The Shadow Negotiation: How Women Can Master the Hidden Agendas that Determine Bargaining Success, written with Judith Williams. Kolb is a Professor of Management at the Simmons Graduate School of Management and co-director of the Center for Gender in Organizations there. She is also a senior fellow at the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School where she co-directs the Negotiations in the Workplace Program.

Kolb focused on the difficulties women face in many bargaining situations, noting that negotiation is a critical skill for creating conditions for your own success. In discussing the best practices for deal-making, Kolb advised the audience to "be prepared, look for creative options and don't focus on common ground -- look for differences."

Kolb stressed that to negotiate effectively requires more than working the terms of a deal -- it means understanding some of the traps of the "shadow negotiation." These include encountering initial resistance to negotiating and facing challenges that can put you on the defensive. Kolb warned that women can "get in their own way" as they sometimes fail to recognize opportunities to negotiate and often "bargain themselves down" by focusing on their own weaknesses.

To counter the problem, Kolb recommends that women focus on what they need to promote their own value and make it visible. "You can't get what you want if you don't know what you want," she said. "People negotiate with you because you have something they need." Kolb also advised participants to "use strategic moves to get negotiations going" and "anticipate moves" that could short-circuit the bargaining process.