NOTHING TO LOVE IN `FRIENDS AND LOVERS'.Byline: Stephen Holden The New York Times The only glimmer of humor to be salvaged from ``Friends and Lovers,'' an inept farce with the mentality of a tittering tit·ter intr.v. tit·tered, tit·ter·ing, tit·ters To laugh in a restrained, nervous way; giggle. n. A nervous giggle. [Probably imitative. 15-year-old boy peering under the bedcovers with a flashlight, emanates from Robert Downey Jr.'s clownish portrayal of Hans, a bogus German ski instructor. During a Christmas weekend in Park City, Utah Park City is a city located in Summit County, Utah, United States. It is one of two major resort towns in Utah, the other being Moab. It is considered to be part of the Wasatch Back and a part of the Salt Lake City metropolitan area. , Hans successfully lures Carla (Claudia Schiffer), a dim-witted adj. 1. mentally retarded; relatively slow in mental function. Adj. 1. dim-witted - lacking mental capacity and subtlety simple-minded, simple aspiring model, from the clutches of her Neanderthal suitor, Jon (Stephen Baldwin), by teaching her how to meditate. The lessons involve plenty of lascivious hands-on physical contact. Downey, his hair blasted into a two-toned Don King-style flare, adopts a German accent worthy of Peter Sellers at his zaniest to play this lecherous lech·er·ous adj. Given to, characterized by, or eliciting lechery. lech  er·ous·ly adv. impostor. Hans may be a louse louse, common name for members of either of two distinct orders of wingless, parasitic, disease-carrying insects. Lice of both groups are small and flattened with short legs adapted for clinging to the host. , but he's certainly an improvement over Jon, a leering boor given to loudly spouting his pet mathematical theories about the size of female body parts. Many of the characters in ``Friends and Lovers'' are so obsessed ob·sess v. ob·sessed, ob·sess·ing, ob·sess·es v.tr. To preoccupy the mind of excessively. v.intr. with the dimensions of human erogenous zones that you soon wish they had all been given tape measures ahead of time so they could strip and get it over with. ``Friends and Lovers'' might make some comedic sense if these people were still in their teens, but they're yuppies in their 20s. Their destination is the comfy lodge of Richard (David Rasche), the father of Ian (George Newbern), the whiniest of the group. Also on hand are Jane (Suzanne Cryer), who is pregnant but refuses to name the father; David (Danny Nucci) who's gay and a virgin; Lisa (Alison Eastwood), and Keaton (Neill Barry). By the end of the weekend nearly everyone has been paired off. And Richard and Ian, who have been estranged es·trange tr.v. es·tranged, es·trang·ing, es·trang·es 1. To make hostile, unsympathetic, or indifferent; alienate. 2. To remove from an accustomed place or set of associations. , have come to terms in a grotesquely mawkish mawk·ish adj. 1. Excessively and objectionably sentimental. See Synonyms at sentimental. 2. Sickening or insipid in taste. father-son confrontation. Written and directed by George Haas, ``Friends and Lovers'' plays on the screen like an interminable, unedited test script for an imitation of the television series ``Friends.'' As both a writer and director, Haas has so little feel for comedy that he is completely reliant on the actors to find the clown inside their characters. Only Downey delivers. Typical of the film's ineptitude is a running joke in which Richard's attempts at cooking result in various kitchen mishaps. You would think that the director could find some way to give such stock bits as an exploding microwave or a mishandled coffee machine a new comic twist, but he hasn't a clue. THE FACTS The film: ``Friends and Lovers'' (not rated). The stars: Stephen Baldwin, Alison Eastwood, Claudia Schiffer, Robert Downey Jr. Behind the scenes: Written and directed by George Haas; based on a story by Neill Barry and Haas. Produced by Josi W. Konski. Released by Lions Gate Films. Running time: One hour, 42 minutes. Playing: Citywide. Our rating: One star. |
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