NOT UGLY DUCKLING OR FISH OUT OF WATER, BASSET HOUND HAS HER DAY; SHORT-LEGGED POOCH PROVES A REAL `BABE'.

Byline: DENNIS McCARTHY

``She was going to be our couch potato. We never dreamed she'd be our champion.''

- Marcia Krause

Remember the frog who thought he was king? Well, we've got a local basset hound named Roxanne who thinks she's queen.

And darned if she isn't.

Never mind the stubby legs, pot belly and floppy ears that drag dangerously close to the ground. This dog thinks she's 6 feet 4 inches and chiseled.

A regular Lassie. A beauty, not a couch potato. Born and bred to run like the wind and perform incredible feats.

OK, so she runs about as fast as smog clearing out of the basin, but like the tortoise who beat the hare, when the trophies are handed out for agility at American Kennel Club competitions, it's usually Roxanne showing her backside to the faster, leaner sheltie and terrier breeds.

``She can't outrun them, but she can outsmart them,'' says Arnie Krause, who owns Roxanne with his wife, Marcia. ``Roxanne tends to be perfect going through the agility courses, whereas the faster dogs tend to mess up a few times.''

Roxanne's been so perfect that she's been invited to compete in the AKC National Agility Championships in Chicago next weekend - to compete as one of the top 200 agile dogs in the country. The canines will have to negotiate an obstacle course full of jumps, tunnels and tires. They are graded on speed and accuracy.

It is quite an honor since a check of AKC records shows no other basset hound in history has ever been invited to the national championships.

The queen is going to the ball.

The tortoise is taking on the hares.

It was never supposed to be this way, the Krauses say. Roxanne was going to be their couch potato - a nice, little pet dog that could be trained easily to fetch.

``She was sold to us by a breeder as a pet-quality dog, not show quality because she has this little overbite,'' Arnie says.

The queen never bothered to look in the mirror. She thought she was Marilyn Monroe.

``I took her to a couple of park obedience classes put on by the city, and Roxanne did very well,'' Marcia said. ``A friend of mine who hates to drive conned me into taking Roxanne to some agility trials with her and her dog.

``I thought, who is she kidding? A basset hound in agility competition? No way. She just didn't want to drive to the trials herself.''

What happened next is up on the mantel in the Krauses' Canoga Park home. Trophies, a long line of them. The queen had finally found her court.

``She started in competition about two years ago and is just so full of herself now,'' Marcia says, laughing. ``She thinks she can do anything. I don't think Roxanne knows she's a basset hound.''

She isn't. She's a queen.

The Krauses know exactly what will happen when Marcia walks onto the obstacle course with Roxanne next weekend in Chicago. They've seen it happen dozens of times before in competition.

It will start with a few snickers, then break out into laughs. What's this short-legged, pot-bellied hot dog doing out there with all those lean terriers? Go get the mustard jar.

What is this, the part of the show where the clowns come out to entertain the crowd while the real competitors warm up?

Marcia will ignore the laughs and the snide comments. She will bend down real low to look the queen in the eye, and then she will smile.

``Show 'em your stuff, honey,'' she'll whisper.

And Roxanne will. She always does. On command, she will get those short legs of hers going as fast as they can, and then she will soar like Baryshnikov, float like Muhammad Ali and attack that 16-obstacle course like a squad of Marines hitting the beach.

With precision and incredible energy, never missing a beat.

The queen will jump the hurdles, run up the A frame, through the tunnels, across the dog walk four feet above the ground, and fly through the tires.

And when she finishes, there will be a moment of stunned silence before the applause starts. The clapping will get louder and louder as an appreciative audience of dog lovers realizes they have just witnessed something incredible.

A basset hound who is a queen.

Roxanne will hold her head high, accepting her due. Then, she will turn and waddle off.

The tortoise showing her backside to the hares.

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PHOTO Marcia Krause and Roxanne of Woodland Hills prepare for the AKC National Agility Championships, scheduled for next weekend in Chicago.

Gus Ruelas/Daily News