NO SHOVELS, NO SEAWEED, NO SWEAT - CLAMBAKE IN THE KITCHEN.

Byline: Cathy Thomas Orange County Register

An authentic New England clambake? Delicious, but you'd better be bubbling with energy and free time.

Traditionally, you dig a pit at the beach or in your back yard.

Then line it with smooth rocks, start a fire and let it burn two or three hours. Cover it with several layers of seaweed. Layer the goodies on the seaweed: chicken, potatoes, corn, lobster and clams.

Enclose tightly with a tarp and weight it down with rocks.

Sounds like a day's work to my ears. And no one is going to dig up my petunias to build a fire pit.

Not to worry. Give a new twist to your seafood celebrations at home without devoting the whole day to digging, fussing and toiling.

In ``Clambakes and Fish Fries'' (Workman Publishing; $10.95), Susan Herrmann Loomis crisscrossed America, researching from California to North Carolina to come up with 23 simple, all-American seafood celebrations.

``I've learned that a celebration can happen any time, under any circumstances,'' she writes. ``All you need is the seafood. Celebrations and people to enjoy them just seem to follow.''

For an easier version of a traditional New England clambake, Loomis suggests parboiling the ingredients (except the corn), finishing off the cooking on the barbecue with the vents open.

After 25 to 30 minutes, the perfectly cooked seafood and vegetables are served with melted butter on the side. ``Few of us have a beach we can run to for a traditional feast, but anyone can achieve the same results in a covered barbecue grill,'' she writes. ``All it takes is a rousing bed of coal, some moist wood chips and a quick half hour.''

If crab is your style, try her game plan for an old-fashioned Louisiana crab boil. All the preparation is indoors.

Season the water with generous amounts of Tabasco sauce and Zatarain's Crab and Shrimp Boil. After the onions and potatoes are cooked (about 18 minutes), add live crabs. They generally need 8 to 10 minutes of cooking. Add the corn and cook an additional 5 minutes.

Drain the crabs and vegetables. Arrange on a large platter and pass a seasoning mix made with Old Bay Seasoning and salt. Folks can sprinkle it on at their own discretion.

If you prefer fish without a shell, try Loomis' recipe for San Pedro Swordfish. The longshoremen of Los Angeles' San Pedro Harbor barbecue swordfish steaks and baste them with a combination of olive oil, minced garlic, minced Italian parsley and lemon juice.

The fish is succulent, firm and meaty. Add a mixed green salad and this simple dinner is complete.

Lemon Bars seem like the perfect dessert for seafood celebrations. They are best when baked the morning of your shindig and allowed to cool thoroughly.

Traditionalists might argue that nothing is as gently smoked and juicy as seafood done the old-fashioned way.

But modernists who opt for shortcuts will defend their clambakes as equally succulent.

No shovels. No seaweed. No sweat.

A CLAMBAKE AT HOME

2 pounds clams, in shell, scrubbed

Sea salt

1/4 cup cornmeal 

4 large OR 8 small ears corn, unhusked

4 medium waxy potatoes, such as Yukon Gold OR Yellow Finn, rinsed well

4 medium onions, skins left on

2 cups wood chips, for barbecue

4 small (1 1/4-pounds EACH) live lobsters

4 tablespoons (1/2 stick) butter, melted

Sprigs of Italian parsley (optional)

Purge clams by placing in a large bowl or bucket of salted water (about 3 tablespoons sea salt to 1 gallon water), stir in cornmeal. Leave in cool place 2 hours.

Drain clams and rinse thoroughly in cold water.

Gently pull back corn husks so they remain attached at stem end, and remove corn silk. Bring husks back up around corn so kernels are covered. (If you are using husked corn, wrap it in foil.)

Fill a large pot or Dutch oven halfway with water, add a little salt, potatoes and onions. Vegetables should be covered with water.

Bring to a boil and cook until potatoes are tender but still have some crispness in center, about 15 minutes. Drain vegetables.

Meanwhile, build a fire in a barbecue grill. Soak 2 cups of wood chips in water to cover.

To parboil lobsters, fill a Dutch oven or large pot with 6 inches of water and bring to a boil over high heat. Add as many lobsters as will easily fit in pot. Cover and cook until lobsters have turned bright red, about 3 minutes.

Remove from water and repeat with any remaining lobsters.

When barbecue fire has burned down to red-hot coals with some flames still licking at them, drain wood chips, squeezing out as much water as possible, and spread over coals.

Immediately place a rack on grill and arrange lobsters as close together as possible. Place corn on top of lobsters and arrange remaining ingredients, except butter and Italian parsley, around and on top of corn.

Cover, leaving vents open, until everything is cooked through, 25 to 30 minutes.

Remove from grill and serve immediately with melted butter on side. Garnish with Italian parsley. Makes 4 servings.

From ``Clambakes and Fish Fries.''

LOUISIANA CRAB BOIL

Water

1/4 cup Tabasco sauce

2/3 cup kosher (coarse) salt

1 teaspoon cayenne pepper

2 bags (1 1/2 cups) Zatarain's Crab and Shrimp Boil OR similar seasoning

8 medium onions, peeled

2 pounds small new potatoes, rinsed well

18 medium-small live hard-shell crabs OR 8 to 12 larger live crabs

8 ears corn, husked

2 tablespoons Old Bay Seasoning

1 teaspoon salt

Fill a large pot half full with water. Add Tabasco sauce, kosher salt, cayenne and boil seasoning. Cover and bring to a boil; boil 15 minutes.

Carefully add onions and potatoes. Cook, partially covered, until potatoes are nearly cooked through, about 18 minutes.

Add crabs, pushing them down into water as much as possible.

Cover pot and cook crabs until they are bright red, 8 to 10 minutes. Add corn, laying it over crabs, and cook, covered, until heated through, about 5 minutes.

In a small bowl, mix together Old Bay Seasoning and salt.

Drain crabs and vegetables. Arrange on a large serving platter.

Serve immediately and pass Old Bay Seasoning mixture for optional sprinkling. Makes 8 servings.

NOTE: If you don't have a pot large enough to hold all of crabs and vegetables, use 2 pots and divide ingredients between them.

Zatarain's Crab and Shrimp Boil and Old Bay Seasoning are 2 commercially packaged crab boil herb and spice mixtures that generally are added to cooking water. They are sold in many supermarkets, often with dried spices.

Here's an explanation of how to remove meat from cooked hard-shelled crab, from ``Mastering the Art of French Cooking (Volume 2)'' by Julia Child and Simone Beck (Alfred A. Knoff):

``Provide yourself with a board and wooden mallet for cracking the shells and a grapefruit knife for extracting the meat. Begin by twisting the legs from the chest sections, then break each leg off at the knee by bending it back upon itself at the joint, thus drawing the cartilage out of the upper leg meat. To remove the meat from upper legs, as well as from claws and joints, crack shell sharply but lightly with mallet, being careful not to shatter the shell into the meat. Then dig out what meat you easily can with the point of your grapefruit knife. To remove meat from chests, dig out what you can from the holes left by the legs, then from the other side, being careful not to include bits of shell or cartilage.''

From ``Clambakes and Fish Fries.''

SAN PEDRO SWORDFISH

Water

4 swordfish steaks, 8 to 10 ounces EACH

1/2 cup olive oil

6 cloves garlic, minced

2/3 cup minced Italian (flat-leafed) parsley leaves

5 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

Prepare a fire in a barbecue grill. When coals are red and dusted with ash, spread out but do not add grill rack yet. Lightly oil grill rack, using a paper towel dipped in vegetable oil, and place it about 4 inches above coals.

Rinse fish with cold water and pat dry.

In a small bowl, whisk together olive oil, garlic, parsley and lemon juice. Place steaks on grill and brush generously with sauce. Cover and cook until fish is opaque throughout, about 4 minutes per side.

When turning fish on grill, do so with care. Best method is to slip a long, wide spatula underneath and then smoothly but quickly flip fish over.

Serve fish immediately and pass remaining sauce separately. Makes 4 servings; about 1 cup sauce.

From ``Clambakes and Fish Fries.''

PAT'S LEMON BARS

From the chapter on a North Carolina Flounder Fry, Loomis gives this recipe for Pat's Lemon Bars. Lemon Bars seem like a great dessert for any seafood celebration.

PASTRY:

8 tablespoons (1 stick) unsalted butter, at room temperature

1/4 cup powdered sugar

1 cup unbleached all-purpose flour

Pinch salt

FILLING:

1/4 cup unbleached flour

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

Pinch salt

4 large eggs

1 1/2 cups granulated sugar

Minced peel of 2 lemons, colored part only

6 tablespoons freshly squeezed lemon juice

To prepare Pastry, in a food processor fitted with a metal blade, combine butter and powdered sugar. Process until smooth. Add flour and salt; process until combined. Mixture will be crumbly.

Press evenly into bottom of a 9-inch square baking pan.

Bake in center of preheated 350-degree oven 15 minutes, until edges are golden and center has puffed slightly. Remove from oven and cool on a wire rack.

Meanwhile, to prepare Filling, sift flour, baking powder and salt onto a piece of wax paper. In a large mixing bowl, whisk eggs and granulated sugar until pale yellow and foamy. Add lemon peel and juice, then add flour mixture and continue whisking until all ingredients are thoroughly combined.

Pour lemon mixture onto pastry.

Bake in center of 350-degree oven about 25 minutes, until golden and puffed. Cool thoroughly on a wire rack.

Cut into 1 1/2x3-inch bars. Makes 18 bars.

From ``Clambakes and Fish Fries.''

Tips for buying live shellfish

Here are some tips for buying live shellfish.

Crabs: Look for crabs that are very active. Make sure they have all their limbs. Refrigerate in clean paper bags. Do not submerge in water or ice. Live crabs should be cooked within 24 hours of purchase. After several hours in the refrigerator, they will be sluggish, but they should still show some movement in the legs.

Clams: Make sure the shells are tightly closed. If a shell is slightly open, tap it gently. It should snap shut. If it doesn't, discard it. Shells should not be be broken or cracked. Store in an open container covered with a clean, moist cloth in the refrigerator for up to two days.

Lobsters: Look for lobsters that are active; when they are picked up, their tail should turn under (a good test to check if they are alive after refrigeration). They should be cooked the day they are purchased. Store them in the refrigerator on cracked ice covered with a clean cloth. Before cooking, always check to make sure they are still alive. Bacteria forms quickly in dead lobster.

CAPTION(S):

Photo, Box

PHOTO (color) Prepared indoors, this old-fashioned sea food feast features crabs, clams, potatoes, onions and corn.

Nick Koon/Orange County Register

Box: Tips for buying live shellfish (see text)