NO HOME FOR HOLIDAYS FIRE LEAVES MANY LIVING IN MOTEL.

Byline: Cecilia Chan Staff Writer

THOUSAND OAKS - There will be no Christmas tree or home-baked holiday goodies at the Haggard residence this year.

Michele Haggard, her three sons and more than 20 other families are in temporary shelters after fire destroyed their homes last month at Shadow Hills Apartments, a complex in Thousand Oaks for the working poor.

``I was looking to have someplace before the holidays, but it doesn't look like it,'' Haggard said five weeks after the disaster. ``It's kind of a bummer not being in our own house.''

Instead, Haggard and her sons - Nick, 12; Shain, 11; and Joey, 6 - live in tight quarters at the Village Inn Motel in Thousand Oaks, where an air mattress, a queen-size bed and bags of donated clothes cover most of the floor space.

``Sometimes I cry myself to sleep because I miss my cat,'' said Shain, who rescued his pet turtle as he fled the burning complex but was unable to find his cat, Nosey. ``He was 2 human years old.''

The motel prohibits microwave ovens, refrigerators or hot plates, which makes it a challenge for Haggard to feed her sons, especially 6-year-old Joey, who is a picky eater but likes plain chicken and ready-to-eat Vienna sausages out of the can.

Breakfast for the Haggard boys is usually something bought at a nearby minimart. Most nights, dinner is prepared by church volunteers and served in the community room at Village Garcia, a Many Mansions apartment next door.

``I can't cook them dinner, and they are constantly fighting because of the enclosed space,'' said Haggard, whose sons spend much of the time watching TV and roughhousing in the $140-a-week motel room.

``Their schoolwork has suffered. They're not focused in school. The sooner we get into someplace with a normal routine, their grades will be back up.''

Officials are still investigating the cause of the fire, which caused $750,000 damage to a wing of the complex. Workers last week began making repairs, expected to take six to 12 months to complete.

In the meantime, Many Mansions, a nonprofit agency that provides housing for low-income residents in the Conejo Valley, is relocating families to other apartments as they become available.

The Haggards and others will stay at the motel at least until January, when Many Mansions will begin converting it into low-income studios and one-bedroom apartments. Haggard already is looking for another apartment, but having little luck.

``A lot of them have lost everything,'' said Lisa Safaeinili, director of resource development for Many Mansions. ``They've lost pay on top of losing everything. It's really, really hard. These families are already on the edge.''

Starting over with nothing is not new for Haggard, who found herself doing that after a divorce two years ago. She wound up at Shadow Hills, the only place in town she could afford on her $28,000-a-year salary as a sales-support representative at a Westlake Village company.

She made payments on the $833-a-month apartment - a bargain by high- price Thousand Oaks standards - so she could budget money for food.

``Everything was coming together,'' said Haggard, 35. ``I had furniture. I was hoping this year to have Christmas dinner at my house.''

Instead, her boys will spend Christmas with her ex-husband in Moorpark. Christmas presents are coming courtesy of generous strangers.

Haggard recovered her driver's license, two photo albums and car keys - but little else - from the ashes of the fire. Still, she considers herself luckier than most of the fire victims - many of whom work in the service industry. Her co-workers have donated blankets and clothes and raised money to help her family.

Firefighters, school staffs and students, church congregations and others have given furniture, money, clothing and some household goods to help the families get back on their feet.

``I always believe everything happens for a reason,'' said Haggard. ``God would not give me anything I couldn't handle. But sometimes I think, enough already.''

She said she has learned to be more appreciative.

``You take for granted you have a roof over your head. You take for granted you have a place to sleep at night,'' she said. ``(This experience) has renewed my faith in the human race. More people than ever came out to help.''

CAPTION(S):

3 photos

Photo:

(1 -- 2 -- color) Space is scarce in the motel room, above right, shared by Michele Haggard and her sons - from left, Nick, 12, Joey, 6, and Shain, 11 - one of 21 families who lost their homes in the Shadow Hills Apartments in Thousand Oaks. At right below, workers begin rebuilding the apartments, expected to take six to 12 months.

(3) With nowhere for his mom to cook, Shain Haggard rinses off precooked sausages in a motel.

Michael Owen Baker/Staff Photographer