NO CRYING IN BASEBALL UNLESS YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS FILM.

Byline: Glenn Whipp Film critic

If you are a young girl looking to see Freddie Prinze Jr. in ``Summer Catch'' this weekend, pay heed to the following disclaimer: Those buns aren't his.

When Prinze drops his pants - and there's a lot of pants being dropped in this sex-soaked baseball movie - it's not his backside being shown, but that of a stunt butt. Apparently he and girlfriend/teen queen Sarah Michelle Gellar have a pact where nobody sees Prinze's butt outside of the home.

Of course, even with the knowledge that the movie's biggest attraction (and we don't mean that in the sense of size, ladies) is a fake, most teen and preteen girls will still want to catch their dreamboat in his latest adolescent offering, a formulaic poor boy-rich girl melodrama that is to baseball what Astroturf is to grass.

``Summer Catch'' isn't any worse than a typical episode of ``Dawson's Creek'' - there are the same clueless parents, misunderstood young people and heartfelt moments played out to musical cues performed by pop bands like Uncle Kracker, Collective Soul and Fastball. The only difference here is that there's much more explicit sex - ballplayers wearing their conquests' thongs, town sluts pouring beer in unusual ways and a Mrs. Robinson figure doing her best to give the boys an education off the field.

Set in the Cape Cod summer baseball league, ``Summer Catch'' follows local hero Ryan Dunne (Prinze) in his quest to shake off his troubled past and fulfill his potential. Ryan is one of dozens of college all-stars trying to impress pro scouts and local girls. His teammates include a cocky pitcher (Corey Pearson), a fun-loving catcher (Matthew Lillard) and an infielder (Marc Blucas) who likes to have sex with fat girls.

Ryan takes up with a local sophisticate, Tenley (Jessica Biel from TV's ``7th Heaven''), much to the dismay of her father (Bruce Davison), who doesn't like his little Vassar girl dating a working-class boy from the wrong part of town. Tenley helps Ryan understand that ``if you want big rewards, you've got to take big risks.'' The line is indicative of a movie that favors platitudes over normal dialogue and features a baseball coach who doesn't blink an eye when a starting pitcher runs off the field in the middle of an important game.

It's hard to say what's more offensive about the movie: the overwrought scenes between Biel (who really should consider keeping that ``7th Heaven'' gig) and Davison, the barbs directed at the overweight or the scene where Mrs. Robinson deflowers a virgin with the help of a cucumber. Quite frankly, there's only one thing to do with ``Summer Catch'': Take a cue from the Bleacher Bums at Wrigley Field and throw it back.

``SUMMER CATCH''

Rated PG-13 for sexual content, language and drinking

The stars: Freddie Prinze Jr., Jessica Biel, Matthew Lillard.

Behind the scenes: Directed by Mike Tollin; screenplay by Kevin Falls and John Gatins. Released by Warner Bros.

Running time: One hour, 53 minutes.

Playing: Citywide.

Our rating: One and one half stars

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Photo:

Brittany Murphy gets to first base and beyond with Freddie Prinze Jr. in the sophomoric `Summer Catch.''