NEWS LITE : SURGERY PUMPS UP IMPLANT RESULTS.

So you've bought yourself two brand-new chest accessories, all bouncy and bold, but something's still not quite right? Perhaps it's the heartbreak of what Self magazine calls ``the flat bony plane of the chest that lies between artificial breasts.''

Help is on the way. According to the magazine, cleavoplasty is a new procedure in which fat injections are used to plump up the desolate valley.

And now for something completely . . .

It was a full Monty, Python, that is, if you counted Graham Chapman's ashes.

The legendary English comedy group that started smashing taboos three decades ago appeared on stage together Saturday night in Aspen, Colo., for the first time since 1981, announcing plans for a reunion tour and showing that nothing - even the death of a member - is sacred.

John Cleese, Eric Idle, Michael Palin, Terry Jones and Terry Gilliam appeared at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival with an urn, ostensibly containing the remains of Chapman, who died of AIDS in 1989. What was billed as a tribute to Chapman turned into a performance when his pals knocked over the urn and scrambled over each other to sweep and vacuum up their friend.

In between comedy bits, the group announced plans for a reunion tour next year to mark the 30th anniversary of ``Monty Python's Flying Circus,'' the British Broadcasting Corp. show that offended many and became a worldwide hit.

The show was broadcast in Britain from 1969 to 1974, but Monty Python continued garnering fans on both sides of the Atlantic through reruns, specials and six movies.

Saturday's show will be shown March 21 on Home Box Office.

Cartoon a hit in Colorado's weirder side

As weird as ``South Park'' gets, the dark, animated Comedy Central hit featuring four foul-mouthed third-graders and a town full of weirdos is still just like home for its creators, Trey Parker and Matt Stone.

Set in a fictional mountain town, the TV locale is a lot like Colorado's South Park area, where Parker grew up. The wacky Rocky Mountain region is renowned for UFO sightings and tales of alien abduction. Stone grew up not far away in Littleton, where the grave of a notorious cannibalistic killer was a popular hangout.

So when a man went berserk in the real South Park-area town of Alma recently, killing an ex-mayor and trashing government buildings with a front-end loader, a sheriff's deputy said it reminded him of the ``South Park'' show.

``It isn't a comedy. It's a documentary,'' said Deputy B.J. Macumber, an avid viewer.

When family called to tell them what had happened in Alma, ``It was great for us,'' Parker said at the Aspen Comedy Arts Festival. ``We were thinking what are we going to do for another show?''

Parker, 28, and Stone, 26, have attracted considerable criticism for the show's violence and vulgar language but haven't suffered for it professionally. They'll star in the upcoming film ``Basketball'' and have contracted to write a sequel to the movie ``Dumb and Dumber,'' along with making 20 more episodes of ``South Park.''

Days of barely getting by haunt actor on the rise

Filmgoers are going to be seeing a lot of newcomer Rufus Sewell, which worries the British actor who remembers his starving artist days too well.

``The focal point of my life was my lack of money,'' Sewell says in the March 13 Entertainment Weekly. ``Anyone will tell you that the primary thing they remember about me was that I always wanted a bite of their sandwich, or to borrow 20 (pence) or whatever.''

Money's no problem anymore for the actor starring in ``Dark City'' and ``Dangerous Beauty.'' Previous credits include the small English films ``Carrington,'' ``Cold Comfort Farm'' and ``A Man of No Importance.''

Upcoming, he'll be seen in ``Illuminata'' with Susan Sarandon and Christopher Walken, ``At Sachem Farm'' with Minnie Driver and in the Miramax comedy ``Martha Meet Frank, Daniel and Laurence.''

``I'm very, very scared of saying that things are going well,'' said Sewell, 30. ``Yes, I've got lots of things coming out, but I've been slapped on the back before and told, This is going to be the big one, sonny.''

TV co-host Fuentes contented as she is

Daisy Fuentes isn't waiting for Hollywood to come knocking. The ``America's Funniest Home Videos'' co-host is happy on TV.

``It's not like I'm a television show host who really wants to be an actress. This is what I like doing,'' the longtime MTV host and model says in the March 14 TV Guide. ``I'm not ambitious. Is it bad to say?''

Fuentes, at 5-foot-10 and 138 pounds, doesn't worry about her weight, either. ``I'm never going to be a waif,'' she said.

``I would love to be thinner, but that would take a lot of work,'' Fuentes said. ``And why bother? It's not like I'm going to get any more work than I'm getting now.''

News Lite is compiled from Daily News staff and wire reports

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2 Photos

PHOTO (1) Beastly politics

Singer Debbie Gibson helps New York City Mayor Rudolph Giuliani prepare his skit, ``Rudy or the Beast,'' for the Inner Circle Show on Saturday. The show annually raises about $1 million for charity in New York.

Joe Demaria/Associated Press

(2) Trey Parker, left, and Matt Stone are the creators of ``South Park'' a twisted cartoon set in Colorado.

Damian Dovarganes/Associated Press