NEWS LITE : POT JOKE GOES UP IN SMOKE.

Rep. Susan Molinari, keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention, asked David Letterman on Tuesday to lay off the marijuana jokes.

``The president admitted it. The vice president. Newt Gingrich. I've admitted it. There's at least half a generation who's admitted they've experimented with marijuana,'' Molinari said during an appearance on ``Late Show With David Letterman.''

``Can you do some jokes on them for a change?''

Molinari, 38, admitted in July that she ``did experiment with marijuana'' during her college years in the 1980s, then found herself scrambling to explain a 1992 interview in which she denied ever using the drug.

Later, she said she only lied because she ``panicked'' at the question ``every person in America dreads.''

The Republican congresswoman from Staten Island, N.Y., currently a blonde, also revealed that green hair is ``about the one shade I haven't had.''

Letterman's own hair had been sprayed green by previous guest Dennis Rodman.

Arab nation needs anthem

Need $96,000?

Just come up with the right lyrics, in Arabic, for a new national anthem for the United Arab Emirates and you could win that jackpot.

The government is running the contest to write a new anthem for the 25th anniversary of the country, a federation of seven Persian Gulf sheikdoms. The best lyrics will win $96,000, the Gulf News newspaper reported Tuesday. A contest to write the music to go with them will be held later, the English-language daily said.

The new anthem will premier Dec. 2 in celebrations marking the anniversary.

Entries for the lyrics contest can be sent to U.A.E. diplomatic missions throughout the world.

Actor bankrolls his own picture

Robert Duvall figures if you want something done, do it yourself.

The 66-year-old actor wrote and is directing and starring in the title role of ``The Apostle,'' about a Pentecostal preacher from Texas who accidentally kills his wife's lover and seeks refuge in southern Louisiana.

The movie is being financed entirely by Duvall and his production company at a cost of $3.5 million.

``I could never raise one cent out of Hollywood,'' Duvall said. ``The `now-or-never' is upon us. I always feel it is more my time now than ever.''

The movie will be shot in Louisiana starting next month. Farrah Fawcett, Miranda Richardson and country singer June Carter Cash will co-star.

Hook, line and ticket

Police in northern Finland have come up with a whale of a plan for stopping speeders: a police car equipped with a harpoon.

The car was developed by police in Oulu, 380 miles north of Helsinki. They're seeking government approval to put it into regular use.

``We were fed up with not being able to stop runaway drunk drivers or speeders,'' Oulu police Sgt. Markku Limingoja, who designed the device, said Tuesday. ``This harpoon will bring them to an abrupt halt with a bang and not a whimper.''

Unlike a traditional harpoon, the road version is not fired. Instead, it is mounted on the police car's front bumper, and pursuing officers ram it into the trunk of a fleeing car. It locks into place with hydraulically operated barbs, and the runaway vehicle comes to a halt as the police car brakes.Of course, the police car does have to catch the fugitive before it can engage the harpoon.

Not exactly, Mr. President

At his last weigh-in, President Clinton tipped the scales at 216 pounds. Lately, he's been boasting that he's lost 15 to 20 pounds. But even his press secretary doesn't believe that.

``I thought that sounded like an inflation factor to me,'' press secretary Mike McCurry said Tuesday, smiling and apparently without fear for his job.

At his last physical exam on May 24, Clinton weighed in at 216 pounds on his 6-foot-2-inch frame, the same as the year before. He had been trying to lose weight.

More recently, the president told people during his vacation - which ended Sunday - that he had lost 15 to 20 pounds. But McCurry suggested that the president was fudging. ``You have to know what the baseline was you were measuring against on that,'' he said.

Chalk it up to chocolate

Yes, Alicia Machado has put on pounds, but Miss Universe pageant officials denied reports Tuesday that the reigning beauty queen is eating her way out of the crown.

U.S. and Venezuelan media recently reported that Machado of Venezuela has been ordered to shed 20 pounds in two weeks or lose her title.

Machado, who won at 112 pounds, is believed to be 130 or more now, perhaps because of her confessed weakness for chocolate, pasta and corn pancakes. Officials say they don't know about her weight because she has no weight clause and they don't weigh her.

Machado is set to appear tonight on CBS' coverage of the Miss USA Teen pageant. ``Just tell people to tune into the Miss USA Teen Pageant and they'll see that she's gorgeous,'' pageant spokeswoman Wooten Lee said.

Rocking twosome soon to be a trio

Melissa Etheridge and her significant other, Julie Cypher, expect a baby in January. The couple refuse to say how Cypher, ex-wife of Lou Diamond Phillips, got pregnant.

``Both Julie and I have been planning this for a long time and we couldn't be happier,'' said the rocker.

The two have been one of show business's highest profile lesbian twosomes for eight years. Etheridge, who just released the album, ``Your Little Secret,'' had a monster hit with her previous one, ``Yes I Am.''

CAPTION(S):

5 Photos

Photo: (1) Susan Molinari: Move along

(2) Born to be fam ous

Jennifer Bailey goes nose to nose with baby gorilla Binti Jua in 1988. Eight years later, the gorilla would rescue a child from a fall into the primate exhibit at Chicago's Brookfield Zoo.

Associated Press

(3) Melissa Etheridge: Secret's out

(4) Alicia Machada poses Tuesday.

(5) Robert Duvall: His way