NEWS LITE : LOOKING AT KENNEDYS IN NEW WAY.

Publicly, at least, Rep. Joseph P. Kennedy hasn't given cousin John a knuckle sandwich for chewing him out as being a ``poster boy for bad behavior.'' His artful response Monday: ``I guess my first reaction was, `Ask not what you can do for your cousin, but what you can do for his magazine.' ''

In George, founder and editor John F. Kennedy Jr. suggests that cousins Joe and Michael Kennedy ``chased an idealized alternative to their life,'' and Michael ``fell in love with youth and surrendered his judgment in the process.''

For those just back from the Mir space station, Michael allegedly had an affair with an underage baby sitter, and the ex-wife of Joe accused him of bullying her for an annulment.

Joseph Kennedy laughed when asked if he was surprised by the criticism. ``John's got his own way of articulating his particular views on issues,'' he said. ``He's a newspaperman; I'm used to dealing with newspapermen.'' Well, he's not your ordinary newspaperman. For the issue, John-John posed, apparently nude, for a photo that shows only limbs, chest and face as he ponders a dangling apple.

Christian Slater arrested in assault at area party

Christian Slater was arrested Monday after a rowdy party turned into a Westwood high-rise brawl, in which he allegedly bit a man in the stomach then scuffled with officers, police said.

``Christian Slater has been arrested and is currently being booked at Pacific jail for assault with a deadly weapon,'' police Detective Ron Phillips said. He said he didn't know if bail had been set.

The detective didn't describe the weapon, which could range from his fists to a firearm.

Police responded to a disturbance call at the Wilshire Boulevard condominium L'Elysse at 7:30 a.m., and witnesses said Slater fled the 14th-floor condo through the stairwell.

``Christian Slater was taken into custody between the ninth and the eighth floors,'' Phillips said. ``During the arrest of Christian Slater, he became involved in an altercation with arresting officers.''

He wouldn't release any further details about the confrontation with police.

``There was a party that occurred last night. They were all friends and acquaintances and it went on for several hours. Evidently this was the result of the ending of that party,'' the detective said.

Witnesses filed three crime reports - two for assault with a deadly weapon and a third for battery. Phillips wouldn't elaborate or identify the victims or witnesses.

Slater, 27, whose film credits include ``Broken Arrow,'' ``Interview With the Vampire,'' ``Untamed Heart,'' ``True Romance,'' ``Bed of Roses'' and ``Murder in the First Degree,'' doesn't live in the posh building.

Film pugilist had rocky road in life

He's rich, famous and stars with Robert De Niro in ``Cop Land,'' but Sylvester Stallone says his life ``will never be a storybook.''

Stallone's wife, model Jennifer Flavin, recently miscarried in her fifth month of pregnancy and his close friend and fellow Miami Beach-area resident Gianni Versace was gunned down.

Two of his three children had serious medical problems. Stallone and Flavin's baby girl was born with a hole in her heart and had surgery last year to save her life.

``It was horrible for her to have to go through, but she's fine now,'' he said in Monday's New York Daily News.

Seargeoh, his teen-age son with the first of his three wives, Sasha Czack, is autistic.

``He's in his own world,'' Stallone said. ``Of course, I wish he would be OK, but at least he's not in physical pain.''

Just best friend or dating conspiracy?

Julia Roberts has shifted to low profile in her newest other-gender interest. He's Ross Partridge, who works at the Los Angeles Vietnamese eatery Le Colonial. They've been quietly seeing each other since December, and he recently spent an equally quiet six weeks with her in the Big Apple.

Elvis had left his right mind

Presidents are used to talking to kings who speak in tongues. But former President Jimmy Carter remembers a call from the King he couldn't quite understand. Carter recalls how Elvis Presley rang him up at the White House 20 years ago, hoping to get some presidential help for a friend. ``He was totally stoned and didn't know what he was saying. His sentences were almost incoherent,'' Carter says in the New Yorker.

The call came mere weeks before Presley died, Aug. 16, 1977, and a few months into Carter's term. Carter said he tried to calm Presley, who was convinced he was being ``shadowed'' by sinister forces and his friend was being framed. Presley continued to call the White House, but Carter never took another call.

CBS close-mouthed on radio-host deal

Howard Stern duking it out with NBC's ``Saturday Night Live''?

Despite one insider's concession that talks may have gone on between Stern and CBS, a network spokesman was tight-lipped over the prospect of a Saturday late-night series starring the shock jock.

``We have no comment,'' CBS' Chris Ender said Monday.

He was responding to a report in the New York Daily News that CBS late-night host David Letterman has spoken with the network's president, Leslie Moonves, about producing Stern in what would be a faceoff with ``SNL.''

Letterman's Worldwide Pants already produces his own ``Late Show,'' ``The Late Late Show with Tom Snyder'' and the CBS sitcom ``Everybody Loves Raymond.''

Letterman spokeswoman Rosemary Keenan had no comment on the report. A spokesman for Stern was not immediately available.

A CBS-Stern TV deal has a certain plausibility since they are already allied. Last year CBS bought Infinity Broadcasting Corp., owner and distributor of Stern's radio show.

Stern also appears on cable's E! Entertainment channel.

CAPTION(S):

5 Photos

Photo: (1) Joseph Kennedy: Ripped by John

(2) Police take Christian Slater from a West Hollywood station Monday.

Associated Press

(3) SLATER

(4) STALLONE

(5) CARTER