NEWS LITE : KINNEAR BEYOND CYBER-GEEKDOM.

Greg Kinnear may not be as square as the typewriter-using columnist he plays in the new romantic comedy ``You've Got Mail,'' but he says he's a far cry from a cyber-geek in real life.

His co-stars in the film, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks, find love on the Internet. Kinnear plays Ryan's live-in columnist boyfriend who still uses a typewriter.

Kinnear says in an interview scheduled to air Monday on NBC's ``Access Hollywood'' that while he's checked out some chat rooms, you're not likely to find him on one.

``I've done the math and the average chat room user can type over 65,000 words a minute, and I can't compete with that so I'm staying out of the rooms,'' Kinnear joked.

Bassist, actress set to build digs

Ah, the fruits of heavy metal!

Kiss bassist Gene Simmons and his companion, actress Shannon Tweed, are about to build a hillside chateau in the Beverly Hills area, not far from where Kiss rhythm guitarist Paul Stanley and his wife, actress Pam Bowman, are finishing up their Tuscan villa.

Work on the 12,000-square-foot Simmons-Tweed abode with subterranean garage will commence as soon as the couple finishes tearing down their current home on the site. Meanwhile, Stanley and Bowman are transforming their 8,000-square-foot mansion, once owned by comedian Redd Foxx, with frescoes in the dining room, mosaic tiles around the pool and gardens with Italian cypresses and fountains.

Kiss is scheduled to perform at the Super Bowl on Jan. 31.

Get-well e-mail Paar for the course

You've got mail, Jack Paar.

The late-night television pioneer recovering from quadruple bypass surgery is getting get-well wishes from friends and fans via the Internet.

Paar, who was host of the ``Tonight Show'' before Johnny Carson, is featured on a Web site for Regis Philbin's daytime show, ``Live! With Regis and Kathie Lee.'' Visitors to the Web site can click on a picture of Paar and write him a short note of encouragement.

Although Paar doesn't actually surf the Net himself, Philbin and another friend, Charles Grodin, have the messages printed and send them to Paar's home in Greenwich, Conn., according to Friday's editions of The New York Times.

``They are really cheering his spirits,'' said Michael Macari Jr., president of a media production company helping the 80-year-old Paar compile his archives. ``We've probably given him four or five hundred so far.''

Humvee too much for Alabaman

For a split second, John Willingham was transformed from a central Alabama maintenance worker into a Persian Gulf commando.

It all started in the McDonald's drive-through in August, when Willingham pulled a scratch-off card off his lunch that the restaurant was using to promote the summer movie ``Armageddon.'' Realizing he had just won an $81,000 Humvee, all he could do was ``just look at it with my mouth open,'' he said.

But after calculating the cost of keeping the vehicle, which became the Army's workhorse in Operation Desert Storm and hit the commercial market in 1992, he decided to sell it.

``I can't afford to keep it,'' said Willingham, 33, of Collinsville, Ala. ``It's a rich man's toy.''

The High Mobility Multipurpose Wheeled Vehicle, which arrived two days before Christmas, has 37-inch tires, compared with 14 inches for many cars; a 6.5-liter turbo diesel engine that lets it climb 60-degree grades off-road; and a winch that can pull 12,000 pounds.

For now, Willingham had it loaded onto a wrecker and parked in his father's back yard. He plans to sell it, pay off the estimated $30,000 in taxes and expenses from the receipt of the prize, and buy a new but more modest car for his wife.

BBC listeners think the `fellow of infinite jest' is Britain's best

British Broadcasting Corp. listeners have chosen playwright William Shakespeare as Britain's greatest personality of the past 1,000 years, the organization said Friday.

Britain's World War II leader Winston Churchill was second, followed by William Caxton, publisher of the first printed book in the English language.

Listeners to BBC Radio 4's ``Today'' news program phoned in their nominees, who were whittled to a short-list of six.

Nominees who didn't make the cut included past monarchs Elizabeth I and Henry VIII, as well as some lighthearted entries such as Rolling Stone Mick Jagger and the puppet Miss Piggy from the Muppets.

Listeners then were asked to vote on the final placings of the six.

``Even though many thousands of listeners voted for other nominees, I think most people would agree that Shakespeare should be there or thereabouts,'' said ``Today'' editor Rod Liddle.

Caxton established the first printing press in the English-speaking world and published the first book in the language in 1474.

Biologist Charles Darwin, whose 19th-century theory of evolution by natural selection changed mankind's view of nature, was fourth in the poll with 6,337 votes.

Physicist Isaac Newton, who in the 17th century developed the modern world's understanding of mathematics and physics, was fifth with 4,664 votes.

Oliver Cromwell, leader of the victorious English Parliamentary forces that defeated and beheaded Charles I in England's 17th-century civil war, was sixth with 4,653 votes.

News Lite is compiled by Karen Duffy from Daily News staff and wire reports.

CAPTION(S):

4 Photos

PHOTO (1) Mother-daughter moment

Chelsea Clinton and her mother, Hillary Rodham Clinton, take a stroll on the beach before leaving Hilton Head Island, S.C.

Mary Ann Chastain/Associated Press

(2) KINNEAR

(3) PAAR

(4) SHAKESPEARE