NEWS LITE : FRIARS CLUB COOKING UP PLANS FOR 1ST TV ROAST.

Watch your language, Miltie. And Ted, you might want to leave the makeup at home.

The New York Friars Club celebrity roast, an often profane comedy institution that dates back to 1904, will be televised this year for the first time when the burners are turned up for Drew Carey.

Comedy Central will tape the Oct. 4 roast and show it later that month, under a licensing deal announced Tuesday.

A bastion of old school, make that Jurassic school comedy, the Midtown Manhattan fraternal organization has been the favorite haunt of members Milton Berle, Alan King and the late Henny Youngman. It's been reaching out to a younger crowd lately.

Change is a gradual process for the Friars - they didn't allow women as members until 1988 - so permitting television cameras is a big step.

``We're walking on uncharted land. But we think it's going to be fun,'' said King, the Friar's abbot.

Past roastees included Humphrey Bogart, Lucille Ball, Jerry Lewis, Johnny Carson and Redd Foxx. Berle was the honoree in 1953, 1959, 1967 and 1974.

In recent years, the Friars have gotten hipper, roasting Richard Pryor, Billy Crystal, Chevy Chase and Steven Seagal.

Who can forget, though, the 1993 roast of Whoopi Goldberg, where then-boyfriend Ted Danson showed up in blackface and regaled mortified club members with a round of racial jokes.

Bow-ing out; Prow pose a ``Titanic'' trouble

Cruise ship passengers inspired by the ``King of the world!'' scene in ``Titanic'' are climbing out onto the prow, arms spread wide, in what captains are warning is an all-too-dangerous thrill.

The 300-member Passenger Vessel Association in Boston even issued a ``Titanic Alert'' to its cruise operators last month.

``The incredible success of the movie `Titanic' has already caused some headaches for PVA operators,'' the bulletin said. ``Keep your crew members alerted to this potential problem and perhaps even close or rope off the extreme bow access area of your vessel.''

One false step and a Leonardo DiCaprio-wannabe could go hurtling to his death, safety experts said.

Earlier this month, a woman re-enacting another ``Titanic'' scene - in which Kate Winslet's character makes a deckside suicide attempt - lost her grip on a ferry railing and plunged into the ocean off Sweden. The woman is presumed dead.

Spirit Cruises, whose ships, at less than 200 feet long, are dwarfed by the 882-foot Titanic, has beefed up its deckhand security and roped off some of its bows because of all the ``Titanic'' copycats.

The Island Belle, a 91-foot yacht based in Charleston, S.C., has had close to two dozen Titanic-style incidents.

The big ocean liners are apparently seeing few such incidents. The bows on modern ocean liners typically are closed to passengers and are loaded down with machinery and anchor chains, said Rich Steck, a spokesman for Royal Caribbean International in Miami.

Nevertheless, Steck said Royal Caribbean crews are keeping a close watch on passengers, especially the adolescent ones with romance on their minds.

Politico fails to find home on CBS News

Susan Molinari's career switch from congresswoman to morning television host ended abruptly after only nine months, with CBS News saying Tuesday that she was leaving her job ``by mutual agreement.''

The new ``CBS News Saturday Morning'' program has struggled to find an audience with Molinari and Russ Mitchell as co-hosts, although CBS said it would stay on the air.

Molinari, in a statement, said she has accepted a visiting fellowship at Harvard University's Kennedy School of Government for the fall semester. She said she is considering several broadcast options, including political commentary.

Montana land tops places-to-live list

David Letterman could wind up accumulating more than just speeding tickets in Montana.

He reportedly has his eye on a ranch in prime grizzly bear country.

Jack Salmond, a fourth-generation rancher, said Letterman might buy a chunk of the Salmond Ranch near a wilderness area in northwestern Montana. Last fall, Salmond listed 10,000 acres for sale, but then took it off the market.

``I marked a tract in there that he took a look at,'' Salmond said in Tuesday's Great Falls Tribune. ``We've had some discussions.''

Neither Letterman nor a spokeswoman for the host of ``The Late Show'' on CBS returned a phone call seeking comment.

Letterman visited Montana last month, getting a speeding ticket in the small town of Darby. He also made a less-noticed visit to the Rocky Mountain front town of Choteau, 250 miles northeast of Darby.

In an interview with the weekly Choteau Acantha newspaper, he gushed, ``I've never seen anything so beautiful in my life.''

House filling up for `Alone' actor

Macaulay Culkin, star of the ``Home Alone'' movies, won't be alone any more.

Culkin and Broadway actress Rachel Miner, both 17, married Sunday at an undisclosed location in Connecticut in front of family and friends, according to Culkin's publicist, Paul Bloch.

Miner starred in the recent Broadway production of ``The Diary of Anne Frank'' in the role of Margot, Anne's sister.

Culkin's film credits include two ``Home Alone'' movies, ``My Girl,'' ``The Good Son'' and ``Richie Rich.'' He made the Forbes magazine richest entertainer list in 1993 after earning $23 million over two years.

News Lite is compiled by Karen Duffy from Daily News staff and wire reports

CAPTION(S):

5 Photos

PHOTO (1) Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet perform in a scene from the film ``Titanic.''

(2) Culkin

(3) Letterman

(4) Molinari

(5) Carey