NEVER UNDERESTIMATE PARENT'S POWER.

Byline: Carol Rock

OK, let me say from the start that if you don't like what I'm saying about the war, there is a comment box at the bottom. Interactive journalism, that's what we call it, where you get to tell me how right or wrong I am. I read them all, embrace a few and take most of them with a grain of salt. But if a war in which 3,639 troops have already died (24 since I last posted, by the way) doesn't get you talking, I don't know what will.

This week, there was encouraging news on the parental front. I'm not talking about that heartwarming homecoming film that started on "The Today Show" and got the nation misty-eyed as they watched a surprised little boy burst into tears as he ran from his seat in the back of the classroom into his sailor-father's arms. I am talking about the difference a parent can make in how their child is dealt with by the military.

Last week, I wrote from the heart, about school friends thrust into the headlines and how our families were connected by our children's words and deeds. I said that Pat and Mary Tillman were heroes of mine because they were holding the government accountable for the truth about their son's death, which came about at his fellow soldiers' hands.

This week, we got the news that two more suspected "friendly fire" (the term sickens me, it's so euphemistically gentle) deaths among our troops are being investigated. I thought of Mary Tillman right away and sent up a thankful prayer for her determination.

Pvt. Matthew Zeimer, 18, of Glendive, Mont., and Spc. Alan McPeek, 20, of Tucson, were killed in Ramadi, Iraq, on Feb. 2. Their parents were told that the men were killed by enemy fire when their outpost came under attack. According to the Army Times newspaper, McPeek had befriended Zeimer and the two ran to the roof when the gunfire began. A shot through a concrete wall killed them both.

Zeimer's father, Thomas Epperson, said that getting the news of the friendly fire possibility made him re-live the horrible realization that his son was dead. McPeek's mother, Rose Doyle, would not talk to reporters, except to express that nothing she said was going to bring her child back.

It should also be pointed out that the men died Feb. 2. The Army called their families March 31. Two long, painful months later.

I have to believe that the Tillman case has made the Army look a little closer at how they treat the families of those who sacrifice. And I know that the actions of one father has made a difference today and will mean more than we'll be able to measure for future Middle East casualties.

When John Holley's son, Spc. Matthew Holley, was killed by a roadside bomb in Iraq in 2005, he was told Matthew's body would be shipped home in the baggage compartment of a commercial flight, removed with a forklift from the plane and left to be claimed by his family.

Holley wouldn't accept that sort of treatment for his son, who had perished serving the great country that was now treating him like excess baggage. He went to his congressman, then House-Armed Services Committee Chairman Duncan Hunter, R-Calif., and to Sen. Barbara Boxer. Thanks to their intervention, Matthew's body was met by an honor guard from his unit. They flew from Fort Campbell, Ky., to Lindbergh Field in San Diego, where they carried their fallen comrade to a waiting hearse in a dignified ceremony.

Thousands of other families didn't get that treatment because they quietly accepted what our government passed off as concern. That is, until January, when Congress passed a law that requires the remains of any troops to be flown home on a military or military-contracted aircraft with an escort and an honor guard at the airport.

Before that, those who lost their lives in Iraq or Afghanistan were sent to the military mortuary in Dover, Del., from where they were shipped to the closest airport to their hometown and off-loaded on the tarmac. The government didn't even want you to see the flag-draped coffins assembled in long lines at the mortuary, remember? They tried to pass a law keeping all of us from the truth, but a combined effort by the media and miliary families kept that from happening and derailed Washington's effort to downplay the awful cost of that messy little squabble in the sand.

Now, John Holley joins my list of heroes, making sure his son received the dignified welcome he deserved and ensuring that those who died after Matthew will be honored as well.