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NEVER AN INOPPORTUNE TIME TO TALK ABOUT INSURANCE; BIRTHDAY GREETING TIED TO BIOLOGICAL CLOCK.


Byline: Dennis McCarthy Dennis McCarthy may refer to:
  • Dennis McCarthy (composer), (born 1945), an American composer
  • Dennis McCarthy (congressman), (19th century) Lieutenant Governor of New York in 1885
  • Dennis McCarthy MBE (radio presenter), British radio presenter
 

Happy birthday, John. Here's that death benefit information you didn't request.

Ah, you gotta love those insurance companies. They don't miss a beat, even on a guy's birthday.

Most people get Hallmark cards Hallmark Cards, a privately owned American company based in Kansas City, Missouri, is the largest manufacturer of greeting cards in the United States. Approximately 50% of greeting cards sent in the United States every year are manufactured by Hallmark.  on their birthday. John Detwiler, who turned 55 last Wednesday, got a card from the Globe Life and Accident Insurance Co. of Oklahoma containing death benefit information.

``Now that was sure a birthday card that cheered me up,'' Detwiler said Monday. ``Couldn't they wait a couple of days to throw a damp towel on a guy turning 55?''

Nope, apparently not. Not when there's a buck to be made in the good, old life and death insurance game.

For $1, this company promised to send Detwiler an estimate on how much it would cost him to purchase life insurance for the rest of his miserable, short life, which, in case he hadn't noticed, was getting miserably shorter with every passing birthday.

Gee, thanks for the reminder, guys. Those of us in the higher-premium bracket hadn't noticed.

``I think these offers are callously calculated to arrive on your birthday when age and mortality is center on your mind,'' Detwiler said, laughing. A little.

For the record, he's feeling just fine, and has no intention of buying more life insurance.

As for the death benefit birthday card, it wound up in the trash can In the Macintosh, a simulated garbage can used for deleting files and folders. The trash can keeps the files intact in case the user wants to restore them, but can be "emptied" from time to time to save disk space.  right next to the dirty paper plates and birthday wrapping paper Noun 1. wrapping paper - a tough paper used for wrapping
kraft, kraft paper - strong wrapping paper made from pulp processed with a sulfur solution

butcher paper - a strong wrapping paper that resists penetration by blood or meat fluids
.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a column about the Los Angeles Unified School District The Los Angeles Unified School District (the "LAUSD") is the largest (in terms of number of students) public school system in California and the second-largest in the United States. Only the New York City Department of Education has a larger student population.  dunning an ex-employee for $159.86 the district overpaid o·ver·pay  
v. o·ver·paid , o·ver·pay·ing, o·ver·pays

v.tr.
1. To pay (a party) too much.

2. To pay an amount in excess of (a sum due).

v.intr.
To pay too much.
 him in sick time he hadn't worked long enough to earn.

It was sick time Stephen Kanter had used to be with his dying mother in Albuquerque, N.M., during the last few months of her life.

When he returned to L.A., the school district handed him a bill, not a condolence card.

Well, guess what? The school district screwed up. Amazing, huh?

A check of its records after the column ran showed that Kanter had, in fact, been underpaid un·der·paid  
v.
Past tense and past participle of underpay.


underpaid
Adjective

not paid as much as the job deserves

underpaid adj
 by the district during his short, one-year teaching career.

``Because I had resigned before the end of the school year to be with my mother, the district hadn't correctly figured out my annualized annualized

Of or relating to a variable that has been mathematically converted to a yearly rate. Inflation and interest rates are generally annualized since it is on this basis that these two variables are ordinarily stated and compared.
 pay,'' Kanter said Monday.

``They actually owed me money, and wound up sending me a check for $410.59,'' he said.

Officials in the school district's crack payroll division confirmed the, uh, oversight.
COPYRIGHT 1997 Daily News
No portion of this article can be reproduced without the express written permission from the copyright holder.
Copyright 1997, Gale Group. All rights reserved. Gale Group is a Thomson Corporation Company.

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Publication:Daily News (Los Angeles, CA)
Date:Aug 26, 1997
Words:410
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