NBC BRASS ZUCKER-PUNCHES STAFF, VIEWERS.

Byline: BRAD DICKSON Local View

NBC-Universal, with a large percentage of its work force based in Burbank, has stunned the community by announcing pending layoffs of about 5 percent of its workers, or around 700 employees. The announcements were made by beleaguered NBC-Universal head Jeff Zucker.

The cornerstone of Zucker's reorganization plan calls for eliminating sitcoms and dramas from 8 to 9 p.m. and replacing them with -- steady yourself -- game and reality shows. This is part of NBC's goal to dumb down America until the average citizen is unable to spell NBC.

If you operate a business in the San Fernando Valley, the job cuts aren't good news. Game and reality shows probably aren't your friend, either. A game or reality show doesn't employ as many people as a scripted show. The people they do employ usually don't make as much money. With scripted programs there are more Valley residents working, more money flowing, more houses purchased, and better times for all.

NBC is taking these draconian actions after suffering poor ratings, missed opportunities and being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The only way things could get worse is if the NBC Peacock died of Bird Flu.

And if poor ratings means you replace current programming with game shows, does that mean that, in lieu of ``The CBS Evening News With Katie Couric'' CBS will soon air ``Tic, Tac, Dough With Katie Couric''?

NBC isn't the only Valley-based studio with layoffs. Warner Bros. has had significant job cuts. There were so many layoffs at Disney that they're now down to Snow White and the 3 Dwarfs.

In most quarters, NBC's shake-up was greeted with as much enthusiasm as a rerun of ``Studio 60.'' Media analyst Marc Berman opined in the Daily News that replacing scripted shows in prime time with game and reality sends a message that ``our priority isn't finding quality shows, it's about programming that's costing us less.''

Which effectively makes NBC's goal to become the Costco of broadcast television.

In the interest of full disclosure, I'm a former NBC employee. For 14 years my job was to write jokes about politicians, McDonald's, and little girls who topple down wells for Jay Leno's monologue. And during that time NBC was a decent place to work. Except for the commissary, about which Johnny Carson famously joked.

Of course, this was back in the halcyon days, when NBC and other networks aired nothing but scripted, produced programs like ``Friends'' and ``Frasier'' during prime time. And the network's ratings were strong, the worries few. The biggest concern was whether they'd run out of liquor at the ``Taxi'' wrap party. (They did.)

And granted, some of these scripted shows were stupid. But game and reality programs are generally, um, stupider. Even the game shows that appear intelligent, like ``Who Wants To Be A Millionaire'' trade largely in random trivia. (Sample, made up, $500,000 question: ``How many cylinders was Jethro's truck in `The Beverly Hillbillies'?'') ``Deal Or No Deal'' isn't even a contest of skill, only dumb luck.

Which makes this a double-whammy: People losing their jobs and television getting even dumber. There must be a better way.

My problem with show business is that when things go south, the bumbling generals usually keep their jobs and the enlisted men get fired. Conversely, when a football team loses, it's the coach who gets sacked, not the players. When a state's economy turns sour, the governor leaves, not the working folks.

Maybe NBC should consider keeping most of those 700 rank-and-file workers -- some your friends and neighbors -- and instead get rid of the executive who green-lighted ``Joey.'' Can the guy whose idea it was to air ``Friday Night Lights'' on Tuesdays. I'm against torture, but even the most liberal would be in favor of first waterboarding, then firing the person who approved NBC's ``Celebrity Cooking Showdown.''

There's an old saying that ``a fish rots from the head.'' So why in ``The Industry'' do they almost always fire the tail?