My very own monorail: one city's internal battle over the best way to get its cartoonists to and from a baseball game! (Culture and Reviews).THE VOTERS OF SEATTLE JUST APPROVED--FOR THE FOURTH TIME--A MONORAIL monorail, railway system that uses cars that run on a single rail. Typically the rail is run overhead and the cars are either suspended from it or run above it. LINE, IN SPITE OF IT'S OPPONENTS' LAST DITCH EFFORT TO KILL THE $1.5 BILLION BOONDOGGLE boon·dog·gle Informal n. 1. An unnecessary or wasteful project or activity. 2. a. A braided leather cord worn as a decoration especially by Boy Scouts. b. ONCE AND FOR ALL ... YOU'D THINK THE PRICE TAG ALONE WOULD BE REASON ENOUGH TO ARGUE AGAINST IT, YET THE OPPOSITION IS AN ODD COLLECTION OF FOLKS WITH ALL SORTS OF AXES TO GRIND ... MANY OF THE CHARGES AGAINST THE MONORAIL TURNED OUT TO BE EXAGGERATIONS--FABRICATIONS, EVEN--AS WELL AS THE PARANOID RAVINGS OF THOSE WHO FEAR CHANGE OF ANY KIND ... STILL, IT WAS A NATURAL REACTION TO THE STARK FISCAL REALITIES THAT WERE STARTING TO CLOUD OVER cloud over Verb 1. (of the sky or weather) to become cloudy: it was clouding over and we thought it would rain 2. THE SUNNY TO US BY THE MONORAIL'S PROPONENTS ... THE RELATIVELY "GRASSROOTS" MONORAIL PROJECT WAS ORIGINALLY CONCEIVED AS AN ALTERNATIVE TO A PROPOSED UBER-BOONDOGGLE LIGHT-RAIL LINE (WHICH WE ALSO VOTED FOR, SINCE WE'RE THE BOONDOGGLIEST TOWN ARROUND!). ... AND WE CAN FUND IT WITH A SURCHARGE ON ALL CARS REGISTERED IN THE CITY! THAT WAY WE'D ALSO BE CREATING A FINANCIAL INCENTIVE TO USE MASS TRANSIT mass transit, public transportation systems designed to move large numbers of passengers. Types and Advantages Mass transit refers to municipal or regional public shared transportation, such as buses, streetcars, and ferries, open to all on a ! * GOOD THINKING! (REMIND ME TO REGISTER MY CAR IN THE SUBURBS). * THIS PLAN ENCOURAGES PEOPLE TO SELL THEIR CARS, NOT USE THEM LESS AND IT'S COST ME OVER $100 ALREADY! MEANWHILE, THE MONORAIL'S OPPONENTS TROTTED OUT THEIR OWN TELEGENIC tel·e·gen·ic adj. Having a physical appearance and exhibiting personal qualities that are deemed highly appealing to television viewers: "Do we insist on a telegenic President?" William F. "EXPERT" ENGINEER, WHOSE FACE FILLED THE AIRWAVES MAKING ALL SORTS OF DIRE CLAIMS ... A MONORAIL LINE CANNOT RUN AT GRADE OR GO UNDERGROUND ... THE 90-FOOT STATIONS CAN ONLY ACCOMMODATE 90-FOOT TRAINS ... CANCELLING IT WILL FREE UP SCARCE REVENUES FOR THE FAR SUPERIOR LIGHT-RAIL PROJECT! ?! IF THESE CLAIMS ALL SOUND BOGUS TO YOU, THAT'S BECAUSE THEY ARE. BESIDES, NO ONE WANTS THE MONORAIL TO RUN ON OR UNDER THE GROUND! THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT! THIS GAZILLION-DOLLAR, TOP-DOWN, "PUBLIC-PRIVATE PARTNERSHIP Public-private partnership (PPP) describes a government service or private business venture which is funded and operated through a partnership of government and one or more private sector companies. These schemes are sometimes referred to as PPP or P3. " BLACK HOLE IRONICALLY CALLED "SOUND TRANSIT Sound Transit has been the popular name of Washington state's Central Puget Sound Regional Transit Authority since 1996. It was formed in 1993 by the Snohomish, King, and Pierce County Councils. " ORIGINALLY WAS SUPPOSED TO CONNECT ALL OF THE REGION'S MAIN HUBS WITH LIGHT-RAIL SERVICE... ONCE IT BECAME APPARENT THAT ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD WOULD BARELY PAY FOR IT, THE "INITIAL PHASE" WAS SCALED BACK TO A LINE THAT'LL RUN FROM DOWNTOWN TO SOME GUY'S HOUSE THAT I DON'T EVEN KNOW. WHAT A WASTE! THE MONORAIL'S ROUTE, ON THE OTHER HAND, NOT ONLY GOES RIGHT BY MY HOUSE, BUT CONNECTS MANY OF MY FAVORITE DESTINATIONS (ON THOSE RARE OCCASIONS WHEN I ACTUALLY LEAVE THE HOUSE THAT IS)... NEEDLESS TO SAY, THIS IS A FAR SUPERIOR ROUTE, AND WELL WORTH A MEASLY measly said of beef, pork and mutton because infected meat has a speckled appearance thought to resemble measles (1) in humans. See also cysticercus. $1.5 BIL BIL Brother-In-Law BIL Billion BIL Bilateral BIL Band Interleaved by Line BIL Basic Impulse Level (electrical power switches) BIL Basic Insulation Level (IEC) . MONEY WELL SPENT, I'D SAY! SINCE THEY HAVE TO SHARE THE ROAD WITH EVERYTHING ELSE, LIGHT-RAIL TRAINS ARE BASICALLY BIGGER, UNWIELDY, MORE EXPENSIVE BUSES. FAR FROM RELIEVING TRAFFIC CONGESTION The condition of a network when there is not enough bandwidth to support the current traffic load. congestion - When the offered load of a data communication path exceeds the capacity. , THESE RIGHT-OF-WAY HOGS ARE TRAFFIC JAMS ON WHEELS! AND THANKS TO NEW NOISE REDUCTION TECHNOLOGY, I ALMOST GET RUN OVER BY ONE EVERY TIME I VISIT PORTLAND, OR.! MONORAILS, HOWEVER, RUN ABOVE THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC, AND NEW RAILS AND BEAMS ARE FAR LESS OBTRUSIVE ob·tru·sive adj. 1. Thrusting out; protruding: an obtrusive rock formation. 2. Tending to push self-assertively forward; brash: a spoiled child's obtrusive behavior. THAN THEY USED TO BE... THIS IS ALSO WHY THE MONORAIL IS MY BOONDOGGLE OF CHOICE, AT LEAST IN THEORY (AND IF I'M NOT REMINDED OF THAT "SIMPSONS" EPISODE ITS CRITICS LOVE TO QUOTE). DEBATING THESE TWO SYSTEMS' PROS AND CONS pros and cons Noun, pl the advantages and disadvantages of a situation [Latin pro for + con(tra) against] CAN GET AS HEATED AS DISCUSSING RELIGION OR POLITICS, AND SOME OF THE FEARS EXPRESSED AGAINST THE MONORAIL BORDERS ON THE DERANGED de·range tr.v. de·ranged, de·rang·ing, de·rang·es 1. To disturb the order or arrangement of. 2. To upset the normal condition or functioning of. 3. To disturb mentally; make insane. ... BUT THE REAL DEBATE IS WHETHER WE REALLY NEED THESE EXPENSIVE TRANSIT SYSTEMS AT ALL, AND I MEAN NEED, SINCE WE ALL WANT THE DRIVER IN FRONT OF US TO FORSAKE HIS CAR AND USE MASS TRANSIT INSTEAD. MORE ROOM ON THE HIGHWAYS FOR BIG FAT US! TRAFFIC IN THIS BURG HAS GOTTEN PRETTY BAD, THOUGH, AND IT'S BOUND TO GET WORSE, SO WE WIND UP BEING THRILLED THAT WE BUILT THESE THINGS WHEN WE DID. OR NOT. HEY, WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, NOSTRADAMUS?!? WHILE THESE MASS TRANSIT PROJECTS MAY BE AN ECONOMIC BOON TO THE NEIGHBORHOODS THEY SERVE, THEY ALSO MAY SPELL DISASTER FOR THE MANY SMALL BUSINESSES THEY'LL BE DISPLACING... OF COURSE, WE'RE OBLIGED TO PAY FOR THEIR RELOCATION, BUT THEIR HARD-EARNED CLIENTELE ISN'T LIKELY TO MOVE WITH THEM. IN FACT, A GOVERNMENT EXERCISING ITS EMINENT DOMAIN eminent domain, the right of a government to force the owner of private property sell it if it is needed for a public use. The right is based on the doctrine that a sovereign state has dominion over all lands and buildings within its borders, which has its origins in PRIVILEGES IS NEVER A PRETTY SIGHT WHEN YOU'RE ON THE FRONT LINES... IN THE NAME OF "PROGRESS," A WELL-FINANCED GRAND VISION OFTEN WINDS UP CRUSHING MANY SMALLER, HUMBLER ASPIRATIONS. YET THESE ISSUES ALSO ILLUSTRATE WHY A PRIVATELY BUILT AND RUN MASS TRANSIT SYSTEM ON THIS SCALE WOULD BE ALL BUT IMPOSSIBLE... EXTENDING EMINENT DOMAIN RIGHTS TO A PRIVATE COMPANY SHOULD BE AN IMPOSIBILITY, EVEN THOUGH WE DO IT ALL THE TIME IN THE FORM OF SPORTS STADIUMS AND LUXURY CONDO COMPLEXES. THERE'S AN UNDENIABLE ANTI-AUTOMOBILE MENTALLY BEHIND] ALL THESE TRANSIT PROJECTS--ESPECIALLY IN A COMMUNITY AS "ECOTOPIAN" AS SEATTLE IS... THIS SENTIMENT IS OFTEN EXPRESSED WITH A RELIGIOUS FERVOR THAT INCLUDES THE BELIEF THAT WE'RE CAUSING ANOTHER GLACIER TO MELT EVERY TIME WE DRIVE TO THE GROCERY STORE. THE WORST ARE THE BICYCLE ADVOCATES, WHO FORCED US TO INSTALL UNDERUSED DESIGNATED BIKE LANES ALL OVER THE PLACE, SOMETIMES AT GREAT COST TO CERTAIN BUSINESSES... OTHER COMMUNITY ACTIVISTS ONCE BLOCKED THE DEVELOPMENT OF CONDOS ON THE FORMER SITE OF ONE OF THESE AESTHETICALLY UNPLEASING BUSINESSES, CLAIMING THEY WANTED TO PRESERVE THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD'S "INDUSTRIAL BASE"! THE MOST COST EFFECTIVE WAY TO REDUCE TRAFFIC IS TO MAKE DRIVING ITSELF MORE EXPENSIVE, VIA INCREASED GAS TAXES AND/OR TOLLS, THUS COMPELLING MORE PEOPLE TO CARPOOL car·pool n. also car pool 1. An arrangement whereby several participants or their children travel together in one vehicle, the participants sharing the costs and often taking turns as the driver. 2. AND/OR SHORTEN THEIR COMMUTES... THIS FORM OF SOCIAL ENGINEERING IS SURE TO WORK, TOO--ON POORER COMMUTERS, THAT IS, WHILE MAKING DRIVING TO WORK EVEN MORE OF A LUXURY. IN SOME CITIES, POORER NEIGHBORHOODS ARE SERVED BY PRIVATELY OWNED AND OPERATED MINI-BUSES (A.K.A. "JITNEYS"), WHICH CAN BE A GODSEND god·send n. Something wanted or needed that comes or happens unexpectedly. [Alteration of Middle English goddes sand, God's message : goddes, genitive of God, God FOR THE MORE VULNERABLE CITIZENS... UNFORTUNATELY, CITY AND TRANSIT UNION OFFICIALS DO THEIR BEST TO REGULATE THEM OUT OF EXISTENCE, SINCE THEY'RE A THREAT TO THEIR PEOPLE-MOVING MONOPOLY. I RECENTLY ATTENDED A "MASS TRANSIT EXPO", WHERE A SMALL GATHERING OF VISIONARIES PRESENTED THEIR OWN SOLUTIONS TO OUR TRAFFIC WOES... THE WACKIEST OF THESE WAS AN ELEVATED BUS THAT WOULD RUN AT STREET LEVEL YET WOULD DRIVE OVER THE FLOW OF TRAFFIC. EVEN THE OTHER DESIGNERS WERE TAKEN A BACK BY THIS CONCEPT! THE STAR CONCEPT AT THIS EVENT WAS THE P.R.T., OR "PERSONAL RAPID TRANSIT Personal rapid transit (PRT), also called personal automated transport (PAT) or podcar is a public transportation concept that offers automated on-demand non-stop transportation, on a network of specially-built guideways. " SYSTEM, WHICH IS BASICALLY A FLEET OF TAXIS OPERATING ON MONORAIL TRACKS. MANY AIRPORTS HAVE SIMPLIFIED VERSIONS OF THIS, AND SOME CITIES ARE ACTUALLY CONSIDERING BUILDING P.R.T. NETWORKS, EVEN THOUGH THEY HAVE TO RELY ON COMPUTER MODELS TO TRUST THAT THEY'LL WORK AS ADVERTISED. THE FAITH THAT THE P.R.T'S PROPONENTS HAVE IN THEIR "CURE-ALL" TRANSIT SOLUTION IS MET WITH EQUAL CYNICISM BY OTHERS. ONE MASS TRANSIT ADVOCATE FRIEND OF MINE HAS PARTICULAR DISDAIN FOR THEIR VISION AND TACTICS... WHILE I MYSELF AM RELUCTANT TO COMPLETELY WRITE OFF ANY OF THESE PEOPLE-MOVING SHEMES, A LAND-USE ATTORNEY I INTERVIEWED FOR THIS PIECE EXPRESSED UTTER CONTEMPT FOR ALL OF THEM, THANKS TO HIS YEARS OF BITTER EXPERIENCE... |
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