Mother-Daughter Reading Clubs.

Bonding through book-talk

Shireen Dodson has made bonding with children a literary pastime. Fueled by a desire to establish open communication and build a solid relationship with her adolescent daughter Morgan, Dodson founded The Mother-Daughter Book Club of Washington, D.C., and penned the companion guide, The Mother-Daughter Book Club: How Ten Busy Mothers and Daughters Came Together to Talk, Laugh and Learn Through Their Love of Reading (Hyperion, 1997). Like-minded mothers joined Dodson in flexing their maternal instincts. They cart age-appropriate reading materials and book-related questions to discussion groups in ever-increasing numbers. Today book talk among the ages is sizzling, bonding through the generations is on the rise and mother-daughter reading groups are the hottest new commodity in a thriving literature-conscious environment.

At Our Mother & Daughter Book Club in Chicago, Illinois, mothers and their 8-to 12-year-old daughters often read books with a girl as the main character or those written by a female author. "These books validate a girl's reality," said club leader, Catherine Ward. "They show girls experiencing and confronting life in all its complexity. These books, as opposed to television, do a good job of showing gradations of feeling and internal development. They portray the joy, sorrow, and drama inherent in an average girl's life."

With the Harry Potter series heating up their book list, reading in a dual generation is amazing. "Mothers marvel over how engrossed they are by a `kids' title," says Ward. "We are all just curious, joyful, demanding readers of quality literature. Age differences collapse when mother and daughter alike express shock or surprise at a character's actions," says Ward. "When mothers take the time to read, listen, and respond to their daughters, they're sending a powerful message: your thoughts and experiences are important."

According to Ward, being part of a group that encourages active listening and respect for all members is an effective way to foster the development of this important basic value. Sharing reading experiences is a simple but powerful way to develop a daughter's self-esteem.

Pubescent readers aren't the only ones swapping tales with their moms on the regular. Adult daughters join their mothers in a mature reading environment at the Essence of Reading Book Club in Houston, Texas. "Bringing our daughters into the book club has added such energy to our discussion group," states group founder Betty Neely. "We bond with our daughters through open discussions and spend quality time with no distractions. We gain insight into our daughters' thinking as they've become adults."

Neely's daughter, Michelle, "looks forward to each monthly meeting," despite a brief moment of anxiety. "I was a little apprehensive, thinking, `Oh boy, what are they going to select to read.' To my surprise, we're like one big family, reading together, sharing our thoughts, disagreeing in a loving environment and bonding with our moms. This monthly exchange reemphasizes the fact that we all have cool moms."

The camaraderie offered by this family-type environment fosters candid discussions on adult books ranging from relationships to spiritual guidance. Member Annie Thompson credits The Lady, The Lover and Her Lord, by T.D. Jakes, with "teaching ladies young and old how to relate to themselves, men and God." Thompson's daughter, Janet Richmond, agrees. "The book enabled me to discuss issues with my mom not only from a spiritual aspect, but from a physical and mental one as well. We discussed the need for balance in our lives and how to give our husbands, children, work, and God equal attention. Our age difference does not mean that we are different. Women are women," says Richmond.

Michael Baisden's Men Cry In the Dark, a tale about relationships, fatherhood and interracial dating from the man's perspective, "reinforced all of my concerns previously discussed with my daughter about making the right choice in choosing a mate," says Betty Neely. "Discussing this book in an open forum allowed our daughters to share their `Mr. Wrong' experiences and enabled us mothers to reiterate--without preaching--our expectations for our daughters as they mature and make choices in life." Her daughter Michelle adds, "Baisden's book allowed a male to reinforce subject matter that our mothers had pounded into our heads over the years."

Think all this book talk is much ado about nothing? Think again. Mother-daughter reading teams are dotting the literary landscape. Fifth through ninth graders make up The Mother Daughter Book Group of Portland, Oregon. Fourth through seventh graders hit the books at the Mother-Daughter Book Club of Glen Cove, N.Y. This reading phenomenon extends clear to the Juneau Public Library of Juneau, Alaska, where three mother-daughter clubs welcome groups of different ages. With Shireen Dodson's book club formula as a solvent blueprint, mother-daughter teams are heating up the reading climate--bridging gaps made wide through the generations.

Start Your own Mother-Daughter Book Club

* Check schools, libraries and community centers for a mother-daughter group in your neighborhood.

If none exists, invite a core group of friends and start your own.

* Introduce mother-daughter teams, define group objectives, and discuss groups size, meeting location and hosting responsibilities during the initial meeting.

* Choose a group leader--someone who keeps the group focused and the discussion moving.

* Allow daughters free reign in choosing reading selections. Exercise veto power only if readign material is not age-appropriate.

* Distribute member packets with names, addresses and telephone numbers, and the groups' reading list and monthly hosting schedule.

Things To Keep In Mind

* The book club is not school. It should feel like fun, not work.

* Your daughter won't open up if she's feeling boxed in. Allow her to express opinions and ideas without fear of rebuttal Avoid preaching at all costs.

* For mothers of adult daughters, remember that your little girl is all grown up, with opinions and a lifestyle of her own.

Reading Group Resources:

* The Mother-Daughter Book Club

by Shireen Dodson Harper Collins, May 1997, $14.00 ISBN 0-060-95242-3

* 100 Books for Girls to Grow On

by Shireen Dodson Harper Perennial Library September 1998, $ 14.00 ISBN 0-060-95718-2